I started therapy a week ago. I'm wondering if it has had some sort of impact on the way  I get in touch with my emotions. Or perhaps, my focus (or lack thereof) has been on different distractions. I've probably spent way more time on the internet. Although, I've done my fair share of work. It's odd. Maybe my interactions at work have really fulfilled my need for emotional validation and attention, which daydreaming usually fills. I have sort of felt this void for daydreaming, but I fill it…

So I was reading a book the other day, called The Charisma Myth (http://www.amazon.com/The-Charisma-Myth-Personal-Magnetism/dp/1591845947). Pretty decent book, but one part that stood out to me was a mention of how to calm yourself down when you're physiologically nervous, like say you're about to walk into a negotiation or an interview. 

The author recommends visualizing yourself getting a…

In an effort to get out of the house and start living life, or at least to try to live some kind of life out of my room where I do all my daydreaming, I started an exercise program. I joined a gym and I found a trail that I regularly walk/run. Funny enough, I opened up to my doctor about how unhappy/bored I am with life, etc (as much as I could without telling her about my daydreaming) and it was her advice that I start taking care of myself, and to do something for myself. That's how I…

Some night I’ll be in bed daydreaming. I thought of her pain. I thought of her endurances, her strengths, and her past. I couldn’t quite imagine her future though. The bed was the prefect spot to imagine being love, to imagine his embrace. I imagined fitting into the fold of his arms. I breathe in air and I imagined everything clearing away. I imagined peace in his arms. Then, I remembered I have to go to sleep. I looked into the ceiling and made it known to myself---he will never exist in…

Hello. I'm new to this site. I only heard about MD recently by accident. My friend was on a random facts site. At first I looked it up, because I was bored and was telling my friends that it sounds like me as a joke. But as I started reading into it, I realized how much it really did sound like me.

I daydream excessively, and some days I can hardly make it through school. The moment I get home I start pacing. When no one is around I can't even go 20 min. without getting up…

For the past year my mental energy has been spent. Nothing exciting ever happens anymore, and the rare time anything does happen it's like I can't fully experience it.

I've been living back at "home" at my mom's house. I've been unable to daydream partly due to lack of privacy and partly due to aforementioned lack of inspiration, emotion and energy. The two factors seem to go hand in hand.

I don't know anyone to have interesting conversations with on a regular basis. The…

So I feel like I need to just rant a bit tonight.......

For months now, I've been feeling like I can't quite get a handle on my actual real life, and I can't figure out why. For once, it's not because of DD.

I haven't actually been able to really immerse myself in DD for.... months and months really. I made myself quit because it was a bad time in my life and I needed some space to sort things out. Some parts of my life have become unexpectedly great --…

I swear inside these walls it gets so hard. My relationship with my family is at its worse. Once I was really close to my mother, now its like we can barely stand each other anymore. We are both to blame, some of it is because of my MDD. Even though I try it is half-hearted and…

hey everyone...so im going through one of the phases where i wanna get rid of MD.Since im still underage and my parents don't know about my MD i was thinking of getting free online psychiatrist help. but then i figured that not many people are aware about MD and i did not wanted to get the wrong treatment. Im really confused about this.Is this actully a good idea?Is someone out there aware of some psychiatrist who i can approach online and is ready to offer help for free because i cannot…

I recently forced myself to go see a counselor about my MD and associated depression - who recommended me to a bunch of other psychologists - who are impossible to get in touch with.

When I was walking to the appointment, I was going through what I would tell the counselor - trying to make a point of saying things that would NOT make me overly emotional or cry.  Because I wanted the meeting to be productive - to get the facts across to the doctor - to have a quick answer to: can I be…

i'm an introvert.

i am literally my own best friend.

i am an only child, and both of my parents work, so i'm home alone most of the time. i didn't grow up with cousins that were my age because they're all 17+ years older than me (my parents are both the youngest in their families with huge age gaps between them and their siblings, who all married at 18 except for my parents...). at family parties, it has always been me sitting around with all these adults with no one to talk to…

My first gif ever! And I took it from the interview I did as my main character, as part of Escarei's The Famous Project. I just thought this was so cool.

My latest attempt at a cure or treatment is mind control. Heard a man talking about it on the radio show Coast to Coast AM. I ordered one of the programs called Serenity. It has shadowed subliminal messages or affirmations in with oceans sounds. You can choose nature sounds or music. The sound of waves is soothing to me anyway. The company is called InnerTalk, I liked them because they provide a list of all the messages in the recording, so you don't wonder what they are really telling you…

The title says it all.There are times i really want  a boyfriend. All my friends have one n at times i feel that even  want to have someone in my life. But the problem is that im scared that if i get into a relationship i will sacrifice my MD. I feel that because of being preoccupied with the relationship i will stop daydreaming . i have been dding for so long that now if feel that it is a part of  me and if i ignore it,it will be like betraying myself and also the characters of my daydreams…

I imagined my character finding love. I saw her went through hardships. I imagined her meeting him. I imagined her getting pregnant. I imagined two beautiful fraternal twin--a girl and a boy. I could feel the love for these two children. They were beautiful with the color of their father's eyes and hairs.

What I couldn't imagine was love. I couldn't imagined how intense their love is or how it develop. I couldn't bring this man to life. I can't truly feel him.

This…