Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
For as long as I can remember, I have lived (mentally) in some kind of fantasy world that mostly involved characters from anime or cartoons. In recent years it has gotten much more complex, consuming and addictive, developing into full blown MD (I didn't realize that there was a name for this until a few years ago). I fantasize about being an imaginary character who is basically who I wish I was in real life. I fantasize about going on fantasy quests and adventures with friends, achieving a high status in society and basically doing things for the greater good of humanity. Basically a superhero with a major influence on people. I have also built several other imaginary universes with different scenarios.
Sometimes I wish that I could actually live in one of those worlds. Like the world of the show Avatar: The Last Airbender, or Legend of Korra, which I'm currently obsessed with (I know. That sounds weird because I am 23 years old.....), and become friends with the characters, or just live in a world of my own where I can be free from the suffering of this world and start another life from scratch. I'm currently going through a lot of angst and turmoil IRL so maybe that's why my daydreaming has really started to consume me. I want to escape. I feel empowered, happy, loved and at peace only when I'm in my head daydreaming. It's my safe haven in a cruel, hostile, and unforgiving world. I cannot deal with my flaws anymore and I wish I could just run away from myself, but I can't. I have a responsibility to this world, but I feel alone and trapped, and daydreaming (or any kind of escapism for that matter) is the only thing that's keeping me sane.
Sorry about the overly negative post. I'm just not in a very good place right now :(