Cordellia's legacy

This website was created in 2010 by Cordellia, who ran it for 10 years. She eventually left, but we can read her original welcome that was previously in the homepage.

Most children daydream. Most children have imaginary friends they play out creative scenarios with. Their fantasy world is a simple, joyful distraction from their outer lives. Eventually their outer lives take root, and they grow out of it. Their playful fantasies become unnecessary as they develop more fulfilling relationships. Their fantasy dream world fades into the past as nothing but a wonderful childhood memory. Usually they forget it ever existed.
For some of us............it doesn't, and the consequences can be drastic.

For the past 30 years I've been living in an alternate reality that has completely taken over my life. Instead of fading into the past, it became my reality. The outside world faded & faded, and I've been fighting to reclaim it. Long past the point of being a joyful fantasy, it's become an addiction that I have unlimited access to. I have no self control. I can only distract myself out of it. I'm like an alcoholic with an unlimited supply of booze everywhere I go. When I do it too much I feel sick & dazed, yet I can't stop. I've stepped out into traffic & almost gotten myself killed more times than I can count. I've gotten better & am struggling to find footing in the outside world. In the meantime, I want to reach out.

This condition has a name. It's called Maladaptive Daydreaming, also known as Compulsive Fantasizing. I spent years feeling alone and scared, like I was the only one on the planet that could possibly be going through this. I felt like a freak. I was completely ashamed and scared to death anyone would find out. It's time to end that. We're not freaks. Our brains work differently. Maladaptive Daydreamers (Compulsive Fantasizers) lead unique and enriching lives. We have wondrous gifts and gut-wrenching struggles. For the good and the bad, this condition takes a lot of strength and energy to live with. I refuse to be ashamed, and I don't want anyone else to be either.

I know there are others out there who are experiencing a similar kind of condition. Hopefully they're not experiencing it to the extreme that I have. Either way, let's talk. Perhaps we can find some answers together.

This forum isn't just for Maladaptive Daydreamers (Compulsive Fantasizers). Many disorders do overlap. Feel free to discuss any that you like. Let's keep the dialog going.

One day, I hope we can all stand proud and learn to live the best of both worlds. Once we do, I'm sure we'll feel better off for having had this condition.

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