Instantly stop the urge to daydream

[Rose Only]

I've found this incredible tactic and I'm so excited to share it with all of you!!! I hope it works for you as it works so well for me. I've found it in the past week and every time I feel the urge to get up, put my headphones on, and daydream, or dissociate into a mental video or conversation with myself. Of course, I can't and won't promise anything, but I am amazed that I just think this one thing and I'm completely back to reality, the urge gone.

And don't worry, I know it's long and I promise I won't sell you anything at the end. I just love to overshare and explain things :)

A quick background just so you fully understand this tactic. . When I was a kid, MDD was a coping mechanism to deal with emotions that were too powerful for me. Over the years it became a strong habit. I noticed that my triggers would be anything that would make me feel something (which is almost everything in life). This is how I would daydream for hours daily.

Question - do you ever feel like you don't know yourself that well? That there is the 'You' in your head and the 'you' the world sees? The emotions I would feel from the real world triggered my MDD and in it, I found a "safe release" for these emotions. The problem was that MDD is only an illusion. An escape. The emotions I felt were lost into the daydream and not integrated into my body and mind, so I didn't feel them fully, therefore the feeling of disconnection from myself. MDD is just another form of dissociation. We can't handle what is happening (we believe we can't). Triggering emotions could be as little and mild to those with years of MDD. 

I started asking myself who is this person I see in the mirror? What life do I have besides the MDD? I felt so disconnected from everything. I decided I needed to bring myself - back to myself. 

And what happened was that I changed the way I spoke to myself in my head. every time I was triggered to MDD I asked myself: what emotions I'm feeling right now? And then use the first person to express it. 

Recent example - (excuse my brutal honesty, I just want to highlight how easily triggering the urge to MDD is no matter the emotion), I was in the living room watching tv. Then, a cute handsome guy appeared on the screen- my body reacted with desire. I then felt the urge to get up, pull my headphones, put on some sexy music and daydream about this guy and me. (this is 99% of the time what I'll do and could easily be a three-hour daydream). Instead, I listen to the urge, stopped and asked myself what I was feeling right now? What does my body want to express? I said to myself, "This guy is cute, I feel horny, I wish I was there in that scene with him." Completely owning the feeling. Saying how it makes me feel and noticing the thoughts that came with it. I emphasize the saying of I and ME because this is ownership - this isn't the fictional character in your head, you want to see as yourself, owning it. It's YOU in the real world owning it. 

And the most wonderful thing happened: I didn't feel like daydreaming. I mean, I still could, I kinda wanted to, but I didn't feel the need to do it, so I just didn't. I went on with the movie in peace and forgot about it.

Another example is when I'm triggered by anger. I want to daydream and rage. I imagine myself as this big villain burning the world. Again I just stopped, said exactly how I felt and owned it, "this sucks, I feel like shit. I want to punch this person in the face." Fully feel those emotions in my body. If my chest is tight, I notice it and focus on it until I feel it fully. And then it's gone. It's not 'scary' anymore. I don't need or want to run away from it.

Now, why does it work? I believe this is because the MDD's original purpose was to escape from the emotions we couldn't handle. The body couldn't take the stress caused by the emotions, so it dissociated into a fictional world where it was safe to express them because we are the only ones in our heads. But if we don't own our emotions they are stuck. They must be expressed, owned. Notice how you can daydream for hours and come back to reality numb? It's because you just suppressed the emotions. Letting yourself feel subsides the urge to MDD because the body already feels acknowledged and expressed. MDD is not needed to release the emotions, we already released, relaxed and accepted them and we can keep going with life.

This worked every time I felt like daydreaming. it's been a solid 4 days that I haven't daydreamed at all. I know you must be asking, just 4 days? am I even sure this works? And I want to emphasize that I mean AT ALL. Not a little bit here and there. To tell you how extreme this is is an overstatement. I've been MDD for years since I was 6. Some recent years I've daydreams for the whole day, 12+, pacing in my room, DAILY. The urge still comes up from time to time, but I simply ask: what is it that I am feeling that I want to escape and daydream about instead? Sometimes, just that question brings my mind into reality as if it's saying, "oh, you mean, it's ok to express it? Just like that? Well, I'm a little sad about this thing that happened a month ago," and I respond, "yes, I am sad about that thing." 

No judgment, no analyzing, no running away into a world that everything is perfect or horrible, just me in the present, accepting what my body brings up and letting it go. 

I'm no expert or psychologist, but please give it a try. If you truly want to stop MDD, maybe this is the key. I'm amazed at how it works so well for me. Good luck <3

[Kalliope]

Hey, this is really insightful! Have you by chance read Eretaia's blog? If not, have a look. It goes somewhat into the same vein. It's great you found something you can exercise to get rid of the urge of MD. I hope you feel empowered and, if your streak of stopping MD has a lapse, that you get right back to working on the next streak! Honestly, compared with Eretaia's journey, it is very similar, so you might absolutely be on the right track.

Maybe some of the MD sufferers have some additional adversities to overcome such as OCD or other difficulties, but emotion is certainly the essence of MD.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Question - do you ever feel like you don't know yourself that well? That there is the 'You' in your head and the 'you' the world sees?

It's very funny. I always had this sense in the back of my brain that I didn't fit into any crowd, didn't talk and interact much and everybody was talking about me, like I was being so weird. But the ME in my head was so much better than the 'me' the world actually was looking at. I find it sad that my MD version of me is  ideal, but the real ME in this world needs loads of improvement to be socially accepted by others. All my life people assumed I wasn't smart, all because I didn't talk much. They also got super critical on the way I looked. Whenever I felt like going out and meeting people, I was shocked when everyone suddenly got hyper-critical over the same deal with me. Whereas the ME in my head is absolutely perfect and loved by others. I used my MD as a way to escape those painful emotions adhering to my life situations. I was never stupid, delayed or buggered—I was just highly misunderstood. 

I even lived in worlds where I can be whoever I want to be. But I always got caught doing this! The world would lash back at how they observe me wondering and not acting right, only making my MD wilder and angrier. So I'd meditate and clear my mind, and take deep breaths, reflecting what went wrong in past situations, so I can make sure it doesn't repeat. That way my MD world may not intensify, if I'm lucky. Problem is, being aware of the real world out there, you can't help it how people you hardly know can just throw it at you. Even if it's not your fault. I've met many manipulative people who I'm glad I never saw again, and couldn't have cared less what I go through. 

My MD was actually triggered by a crush on a handsome cute guy I saw on a TV show. Unlike when you were able to control your thoughts and make sense of your emotions in the real world. I was a sucker and decided to go with it, not aware of what harm it will do. Your tactics make a lot more sense and I wished that I had used them to resist the urge to daydream. It's all trial and error. 

[Deep blue]

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