"I wanted to look a certain way by my age, and be more appreciated and seen by others. I think my problem is that I didn't speak up and tell people how I felt, and what this meant. I just kept to myself and daydreamed around all the time.…"
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Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
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Jessica Ballantyne
- Female
- Oakville, Ontario
- Canada
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Jessica Ballantyne's Discussions
Fantasizing about people I've never met
Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne on Friday. 2 Replies 2 Likes
I will learn about a person online, it could be a public figure, even a civilian, but I never meet them and know who they are. I suddenly find that I create fantasies of seeing them in person, and we…Continue
What Happens When Daydreams Become a Detour
Started this discussion. Last reply by Sergio Silveira Feb 1. 1 Reply 1 Like
When I was 18, I had this giddy optimism, youthful exuberance, had starry-eyed idealism towards my future, but I went too far with my MD on it. For instance, when I was working my way through…Continue
The Friends I Imagined, the Life I Missed
Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Nov 27, 2025. 2 Replies 0 Likes
I've always wanted to be a well-liked and admired person, but I didn't do the work—I dreamed instead. I could've made this happen, but I lived in other fictional worlds, befriending fictional people.…Continue
Thirty-Nine and Still Dreaming
Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Oct 27, 2025. 9 Replies 0 Likes
I still MD from time to time, even though I'm already 39. I believed that I quit, but eventually it came back, but that's not the point. I wanted things since I was very young. I figured by the time…Continue
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"Please check out my book on my own personal experience with Maladaptive Daydreaming, which afflicted my life for many years and the central thing that impelled me to continually go back to it. I describe in it the method of construction and the…"
"I go through similar situations…
I’ve fallen in love with girls and they existed in my fantasies, but in real life there was no intimacy at all.
I’ve been trying to reduce my triggers (not listening to music, not daydreaming), and…"
Imagined Companions in a Quiet Life
I will learn about a person online, it could be a public figure, even a civilian, but I never meet them and know who they are. I suddenly find that I create fantasies of seeing them in person, and we become good friends. I start having conversations with them about my own life, but in real life we are perfect strangers. I think its crazy to make up tales about a person I've just never met in the flesh. How do I know if they will like me, and not think I'm a dolt or creep? Crinkle their face and…See More
"I would like people to know about my book on my own personal experience with Maladaptive Daydreaming, which afflicted my life for many years and the central thing that impelled me to continually go back to it. I describe in it the method of…"
"I would like people to know about my book on my own personal experience with Maladaptive Daydreaming, which afflicted my life for many years and the central thing that impelled me to continually go back to it. I describe in it the method of…"
Present in Body, Elsewhere in Thought
I see that not everybody has my brain...and they're not me...but, I feel like whenever I'm around people, I got so embarrassed or burned. It does depend on the social group, but I happen to be around people who don't know what to make of me, and can't put a finger on what I'm doing in my head...to block out the their words. I'll be blunt. I've had a lot of people respond to me in a way, they think I'm suddenly off in another universe or they're figure I'm suddenly someplace else, because my…See More
What Happens When Daydreams Become a Detour
When I was 18, I had this giddy optimism, youthful exuberance, had starry-eyed idealism towards my future, but I went too far with my MD on it. For instance, when I was working my way through college, I was daydreaming big about what I self-assuredly will be seeing up the way—or so I thought. But I noticed people around me made comments about how distant and gone I looked, also how extremely quiet and socially awkward I was. I had goals and aspirations on what I wanted to do in my 20's and…See More
"I'm living a very discouraging and unlucky time in my life. I'm actually starting over, and looking for jobs relentlessly, while I look at college programs. At 39 I've never been in a relationship, nor married, always single and…"
Valeria Franco replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion The Friends I Imagined, the Life I Missed"Hi Jessica, I am on the spectrum too you know.
I have always felt lonely, it is so difficult. I masked a lot in my life, always wondering what was wrong with me.
And I daydreamed so much.
The only way is to build a life taylored on our needs. So we…"
The Friends I Imagined, the Life I Missed
I've always wanted to be a well-liked and admired person, but I didn't do the work—I dreamed instead. I could've made this happen, but I lived in other fictional worlds, befriending fictional people. Meanwhile I wasn't living a real good life with real friends and real relationships. Thing is I'm neurodivergent and on the spectrum. This made it very difficult to communicate and interact very effectively with others, casting me out and making me feel lonely. I got very made fun of and looked…See More
25 Years in a Daydream: The Cost of Silence
This may sound obvious to many daydreamers. I started MD when I was 12, and wish that I talked with my parents about my daydreaming disorder immediately when it started to make me laugh for nothing around everyone. It would've saved me the next 25 years of turmoil. Saying this, I daydreamed thickly through my teens, 20's and maybe regularly in my 30's. My grades were bare passes and I made lousy decisions towards my future, which I eventually regretted. In the relationship sector, I didn't…See More
"Basically I'm expressing my feelings and thought process.."
"I never did. But sometimes i do actually. I just text people, if in conflict, rather then tell face to face"
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Jessica Ballantyne's Blog
Present in Body, Elsewhere in Thought
Posted on January 27, 2026 at 9:02am 1 Comment 0 Likes
I see that not everybody has my brain...and they're not me...but, I feel like whenever I'm around people, I got so embarrassed or burned. It does depend on the social group, but I happen to be around people who don't know what to make of me, and can't put a finger on what I'm doing in my head...to block out the their words.
I'll be blunt. I've had a lot of people respond to me in a way, they think I'm suddenly off in another universe or they're figure I'm suddenly someplace…
25 Years in a Daydream: The Cost of Silence
Posted on November 5, 2025 at 1:19pm 1 Comment 0 Likes
This may sound obvious to many daydreamers. I started MD when I was 12, and wish that I talked with my parents about my daydreaming disorder immediately when it started to make me laugh for nothing around everyone. It would've saved me the next 25 years of turmoil. Saying this, I daydreamed thickly through my teens, 20's and maybe regularly in my 30's.
My grades were bare passes and I made lousy decisions towards my future, which I eventually regretted.
In the…
If only I did it better
Posted on May 24, 2024 at 9:46am 2 Comments 4 Likes
Parents have been telling their kids over the years that daydreaming doesn't get you ahead in the world. My parents never knew that I was a daydreamer, at least my mom didn't, and I was a very quiet kid. I was always thinking and trailing off now and then. Rather than staying in the present moment with others. I didn't tell them what's been going on in that head of mine.
Whatsoever, when I was 12, my dreams began to get very thick and overpowering. It made me feel wonderful…
Verbal Skills
Posted on May 2, 2024 at 8:01pm 0 Comments 1 Like
I was a maladaptive daydreamer all my life, but it got overpowering starting at 12. I am shocked at how I didn't grow adjusted to my worldly environment and social situations. When I was floundering in other fictional worlds, I wasn't learning to excelerate my volcabulary, speech, and social interaction skills, but also my world perception, such as politics, religion, history, culture, and economics. Eventually, I grew up sounding like an idiot with no brain. Truly I'm a smart,…
ContinueComment Wall (3 comments)
- At 11:40pm on March 21, 2021,
Deep blue said…
Hey do you mind if I ask what kinda job do you do Rn? I'm still a student and I've always wondered what people like us, who have MD, do when they grow up.
- At 12:55pm on February 22, 2021,
Varya said…
- Hi. You can write to me as well, just in case. You seem like a nice and interesting person. varvaraamarantha@gmail.com
- At 5:22pm on February 15, 2021,
- hi, if you want to talk, this is my email, i can hear you, talk to a person who goes through the same situation helps. raulvasconcelosb@gmail.com
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