Jessica Ballantyne
  • Female
  • Oakville, Ontario
  • Canada
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Jessica Ballantyne's Discussions

Digging myself in deep with daydreaming

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Feb 17. 2 Replies

Unsure if I was foolish towards life. I'm a neurodivergent who is naturally a daydreamer from birth. I always wanted a life of friends and relationships that never was. Well, I seem to affect people…Continue

MD and Real Life's responses

Started this discussion. Last reply by The1andonlyAbber Feb 20. 5 Replies

Has maladaptive daydreaming gave you so much hope and assures you things. But real life keeps biting back you in the ass—like fuck? It throws you off guard to an extent you're mad at yourself for…Continue

Coping

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Feb 20. 6 Replies

I used to cope with my loneliness by doing MD—but it strikes me, if I hadn't started MD and learned to socialize like people do, even if it means watching them, I probably would've been a happier…Continue

Lost Hopes

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Oct 31, 2023. 3 Replies

Crazy as it sounds. I slept, worked and dwelled in a bedroom for 31 years since I was 6. Never moved out, was never professionally successful. Crazier, I never experienced having a real relationship…Continue

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Latest Activity

Jessica Ballantyne replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion My life needs work...
"I think MD effected my growth and development. I still depend on my family. I'm urgently trying to find work, but it's getting tougher. I'm starting to blame it on my fantasies. "
yesterday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Mils's blog post The desire to MD will never leave - but that's okay
"After I let go of MD, honestly, I feel too embarrassed. Even though it assured me things will be fine—they weren't OK. Now I have to start over from scratch. I find when I was a daydreamer, everything was starting to look dire for me, or…"
Sunday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Mils's blog post The desire to MD will never leave - but that's okay
"I used to want to daydream, but now I re-think this. It was a coping mechanism when I longed for things I could not attain easily and when I didn't socially belong anywhere, and when I was so lost and in the cold. If I wanted my life to be a…"
Saturday
Jessica Ballantyne replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion My life needs work...
"People bully me because I'm Quiet and Submissive, and I don't think, react and behaviour accordingly to what's socially acceptable. It gives them the pleasure to target me, to get whatever insecurities weighing on them, off their…"
Feb 21
SA liked Jessica Ballantyne's profile
Feb 21
SA replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion My life needs work...
"That’s what I’m saying. You don’t need to please others. What I’m saying is that it might’ve been the reason as to why you were bullied. It was the reason that I was bullied. It was because I carried myself as if all I…"
Feb 21
Jessica Ballantyne replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion My life needs work...
"I am who I am. Why try so hard to please others? Insinuate what I meant was the opposite. Like hinting things, not so much talking nicely. They didn't talk nicely, believe me. They just thought I was being so weird, and couldn't make out…"
Feb 21
SA replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion My life needs work...
"I totally resonate with you. It sounded like me for a while in school days. Maybe this MD was something that we had to experience in order to realise that we aren’t living. I believe I was, from the very beginning, who yearned a lot for social…"
Feb 21
Jessica Ballantyne replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion My life needs work...
"I agree with you. I IGNORED life. I couldn't won things over, if I opened my eyes to my real life situations and grew up better by FACING them. But I was a KID. How was I to know until I was an adult with life experience. I wasn't a…"
Feb 21
SA replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion My life needs work...
"MD doesn't make anything better. It only appears warm and robs you of every thing about your self. I believe the biggest issue MD fuels is the lack of development of a person AS A PERSON. If I look closely at my life, there have been many…"
Feb 21
The1andonlyAbber replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion MD and Real Life's responses
"Seconding this"
Feb 20
Jessica Ballantyne replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion Coping
"I realized that MD is a coping mechanism, but I couldn't have totally stopped. We all think MD assures things will get happier, they don't. I do regret starting MD, it had a twisted ending. What I mean is it lead me to a deplorable…"
Feb 20
SA replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion Coping
"You say you’ve snapped out of it. Do you mean that you’ve totally stopped daydreaming or realised that it’s a coping mechanism? I personally have realised that MD is trying to suppress my real self(Whatever it is) but still get…"
Feb 20
Jessica Ballantyne replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion Coping
"To be honest, I'm 37, and I don't know who I am. And I think that's awful. I have snapped out of MD, but noticed that I have absolutely nothing. I realize it's because I wasn't paying attention to my life. I was so busy…"
Feb 18
SA replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion Coping
"I hear you. I also started my adolescence in a private school with the aim of being the cool kid. It was that kind of a school. In doing so, I became a huge people pleaser who tried to take selfies, change his hairstyle to fit it. That…"
Feb 18
Jessica Ballantyne replied to Jessica Ballantyne's discussion MD and Real Life's responses
"I knew very, very, very few people are warm, loving and accept me as a person. Possibly 2 or 3. I have a close friend of 21 years who I never hang out with. She makes excuses to not see me, and once mentioned she really doesn't want to.…"
Feb 17

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Jessica Ballantyne's Blog

Outside my head

Posted on June 4, 2021 at 1:26pm 991 Comments

This is going to sound annoying. Living in a town for 29 years, all I ever heard by others is that I'm so quiet. They literally couldn't get a word out of me. I was too busy daydreaming in my head to realize how I looked on the outside. I actually never knew it made me look stupid. Non-family can be vigorous that way. I always used MD as a way to escape my frustrations, but it did me more harm that good, so I had to quit. It was the best decision I made. 



What…

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Friends are not from Dreams

Posted on May 18, 2021 at 4:47pm 10 Comments

I spent my whole life looking forward to friends and relationships, and this actually could've happened, if I wasn't living on another planet. When I was a kid, I used to ponder around my room and other parts of the house, imagining situations of how I could meet young people in my area. I'd stand in our shady family office, looking at drawings and poetry, wishing that friends would suddenly pop out of nowhere and say hi. All I had to do was talk to my classmates, get their phone…

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In a Maze

Posted on April 19, 2021 at 4:40pm 4 Comments

When I was doing MD, I thought it was awesome. It lulled me into complacency and I'd spend hours staring away into a fuge, with glowing hopes things will eventually go my way. Unfortunately, it dug me into a deeper hole. Nobody knew my satisfaction as I have, but they didn't understand why my eyes had a distant stare, why I moved funny, didn't talk much and why I almost wasn't ever listening. It clearly proved to them that I was in another world. To myself, I believed I can do…

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Putting myself in one's shoes

Posted on April 12, 2021 at 7:09pm 2 Comments

I tend to be inspired by people from movies and TV series, and often wish I had their lives and personas. I know  for sure that I'm not those characters. I don't have their skill sets, minds, looks and their coolness. I work remotely at home, and it can be very boring, so sometimes I imagine myself as a doctor or computer programmer in a science fiction action film. 



Sometimes when I get out there and do what I like, it's still a challenge, because I'm an extremely quiet…

Continue

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 11:40pm on March 21, 2021, Sakshee Dhumal said…

Hey do you mind if I ask what kinda job do you do Rn? I'm still a student and I've always wondered what people like us, who have MD, do when they grow up.

At 12:55pm on February 22, 2021, Varya said…
Hi. You can write to me as well, just in case. You seem like a nice and interesting person. varvaraamarantha@gmail.com
At 5:22pm on February 15, 2021, Raul said…
hi, if you want to talk, this is my email, i can hear you, talk to a person who goes through the same situation helps. raulvasconcelosb@gmail.com
 
 
 

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