Jessica Ballantyne
  • Female
  • Oakville, Ontario
  • Canada
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Jessica Ballantyne's Discussions

Upshots of MD

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Jan 23, 2021. 9 Replies

Has anybody ever fallen behind in life and made to live with their parents longer, because of MDD? I quit and glad that I did. I feel like I made a mess of everything. My dad told me complacency…Continue

I have rubber stoppers in my ears

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Nov 27, 2020. 4 Replies

I doesn't matter what's on my mind. If I'm somewhere else, and someone is talking to me, it's going to be a big problem. For instance, I came down to the kitchen for lunch, and mom said she'll heat…Continue

Jessica

Started this discussion. Last reply by JamesRelton May 13, 2021. 2 Replies

Hi, it's nice to find somebody whose just like me. Continue

Do Not Do This

Started this discussion. Last reply by Aquafirewolf Sep 16, 2020. 7 Replies

You guys, PLEASE DO NOT DAYDREAM if you achingly want a much better life. I've been an MD'er for 20 years, and I just quit. We'll it's really hard, but I'll never be the same person again. I went on…Continue

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Jessica Ballantyne's Page

Latest Activity

Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100011538301366 I don't have a visible profile, as I like to be kept unknown to people, but we can use this for chat, or your page. "
Nov 19, 2021
Kiruba Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Yeah, I'm Kiruba Victor on Facebook. How do I find you, Jess? Yeah, my situation is also bad as well. So I'm also still searching for a job with less luck."
Nov 19, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Thank You for that compliment. People do say I'm beautiful, even though I set people off with my verbal skills. I never realize how strongly people can dismiss someone whose good-looking, but can't talk for the sakes. I guess I…"
Nov 19, 2021
Kiruba Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Yeah, I just woke up and had a bath. Good morning, Jess. Well, I'm still looking for jobs and my friends got placed, so it's hard for me too. Sorry I couldn't get back quickly these days. So if you don't mind, can we connect…"
Nov 18, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Don't mind me, I blog a lot. You can read anytime. When you watch people exchange conversations at work or school, even watch people act out in a TV show. You'll notice that they are talking all the time. They never shut up.…"
Nov 18, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Why shouldn't I start my own business? It's just working for people gives me the shivers. They eventually terminate me for all sorts of reasons. And everybody thinks the same way towards me. It's heartening that you want to grow in a…"
Nov 18, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"When I was young, I thought I was going to have a wonderful life. Where did I go wrong?"
Nov 18, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"It blows my mind. All these years, I was living fictional lives with unreal friends. Meanwhile, on the outside, I was blowing up my chances to form real relationships and survive someday. MD gave me so much hope, made me feel happy and lulled me…"
Nov 18, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I'm getting very discouraged. I keep on applying to jobs, but I don't ever get selected. My dad has been having talks with me on nights and weekends about what the problem is and wonders if my job developer is helping overcome this.…"
Nov 18, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"You're right, life does find a way..."
Nov 17, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I should've just took care of myself from the beginning, and not cared what anybody thought of me. What can I do about that? Why did I have to be so stupid, and believe in all these lies? I should've been upfront honest with myself. "
Nov 17, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Everybody I grew up with on my street "moved on with it." I can't understand why I can't move on too. Mom thinks I don't understand the world outside of our house. As if she thinks I'll be stuck here for good. I…"
Nov 17, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I'm trying to put my finger on what happened, and why I struggle to move on, and make a difference in my life. I notice that I didn't make myself heard or seen by others. I just hid in my cocoon, which doesn't solve anything. Like…"
Nov 17, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"When I was in my youth, I wanted so badly to find a partner and be with him. Now, I care even more about myself these days. It's as though I neglected my life potentials, health and wellbeing, and cognition over the thought of being in a…"
Nov 17, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"It's a nightmare when you wake up down the road with no life, because most of the time, you were gone in another world. Everybody is so pissed off that you weren't with them...probably took off for this very reason. You got to understand…"
Nov 16, 2021
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Well, I am trying to put my foot out, and be the professional and independent person my dad wants me to be. I wish dad would see that we're in a pandemic, which makes it harder for me to achieve that goal. The point is that I should've…"
Nov 16, 2021

Jessica Ballantyne's Blog

Outside my head

Posted on June 4, 2021 at 1:26pm 991 Comments

This is going to sound annoying. Living in a town for 29 years, all I ever heard by others is that I'm so quiet. They literally couldn't get a word out of me. I was too busy daydreaming in my head to realize how I looked on the outside. I actually never knew it made me look stupid. Non-family can be vigorous that way. I always used MD as a way to escape my frustrations, but it did me more harm that good, so I had to quit. It was the best decision I made. 



What…

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Friends are not from Dreams

Posted on May 18, 2021 at 4:47pm 10 Comments

I spent my whole life looking forward to friends and relationships, and this actually could've happened, if I wasn't living on another planet. When I was a kid, I used to ponder around my room and other parts of the house, imagining situations of how I could meet young people in my area. I'd stand in our shady family office, looking at drawings and poetry, wishing that friends would suddenly pop out of nowhere and say hi. All I had to do was talk to my classmates, get their phone…

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In a Maze

Posted on April 19, 2021 at 4:40pm 4 Comments

When I was doing MD, I thought it was awesome. It lulled me into complacency and I'd spend hours staring away into a fuge, with glowing hopes things will eventually go my way. Unfortunately, it dug me into a deeper hole. Nobody knew my satisfaction as I have, but they didn't understand why my eyes had a distant stare, why I moved funny, didn't talk much and why I almost wasn't ever listening. It clearly proved to them that I was in another world. To myself, I believed I can do…

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Putting myself in one's shoes

Posted on April 12, 2021 at 7:09pm 2 Comments

I tend to be inspired by people from movies and TV series, and often wish I had their lives and personas. I know  for sure that I'm not those characters. I don't have their skill sets, minds, looks and their coolness. I work remotely at home, and it can be very boring, so sometimes I imagine myself as a doctor or computer programmer in a science fiction action film. 



Sometimes when I get out there and do what I like, it's still a challenge, because I'm an extremely quiet…

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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 11:40pm on March 21, 2021, Sakshee Dhumal said…

Hey do you mind if I ask what kinda job do you do Rn? I'm still a student and I've always wondered what people like us, who have MD, do when they grow up.

At 12:55pm on February 22, 2021, Varya said…
Hi. You can write to me as well, just in case. You seem like a nice and interesting person. varvaraamarantha@gmail.com
At 5:22pm on February 15, 2021, Raul said…
hi, if you want to talk, this is my email, i can hear you, talk to a person who goes through the same situation helps. raulvasconcelosb@gmail.com
 
 
 

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