Jessica Ballantyne
  • Female
  • Oakville, Ontario
  • Canada
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Jessica Ballantyne's Discussions

Upshots of MD

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Jan 23. 9 Replies

Has anybody ever fallen behind in life and made to live with their parents longer, because of MDD? I quit and glad that I did. I feel like I made a mess of everything. My dad told me complacency…Continue

I have rubber stoppers in my ears

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Nov 27, 2020. 4 Replies

I doesn't matter what's on my mind. If I'm somewhere else, and someone is talking to me, it's going to be a big problem. For instance, I came down to the kitchen for lunch, and mom said she'll heat…Continue

Jessica

Started this discussion. Last reply by JamesRelton May 13. 2 Replies

Hi, it's nice to find somebody whose just like me. Continue

Do Not Do This

Started this discussion. Last reply by Aquafirewolf Sep 16, 2020. 7 Replies

You guys, PLEASE DO NOT DAYDREAM if you achingly want a much better life. I've been an MD'er for 20 years, and I just quit. We'll it's really hard, but I'll never be the same person again. I went on…Continue

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Jessica Ballantyne's Page

Latest Activity

Kiruba Shankar Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Kudos to you for overcoming your demons! I hope I can find what I love doing and make it a career. Till then, I guess I'll have to find ways to survive. It feels weird, being without a passion other than being happy. That's all I ever…"
6 hours ago
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Being in my mid thirties, I believe I found my career ambition, the next challenge is making it happen. I've been fighting for my dream job since I was 25. That's a decade of trying to get up the ladder. Still I can't afford to live…"
14 hours ago
Kiruba Shankar Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Here, due to the pandemic, it's quite the opposite and unfortunate. And since I haven't really discovered my passion yet, I'm just planning to learn some coding for a job in an IT firm. MD makes it almost impossible for me to actually…"
19 hours ago
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I can only bike and run outside. My dad works out in the basement. It's hot outside, so I tend to melt, just by walking a couple miles. I have to cover up good or else I'll burn. I'm currently having job frustrations. It's…"
19 hours ago
Kiruba Shankar Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Yeah, I'm also looking forward to play some cricket or football with my friends, although the lockdown will have definitely impacted my stamina for the worse. I used to work out actively before the lockdown but now, unfortunately I've…"
yesterday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Yes, I would like to get back to normalization. I planning on golfing with my dad this summer. So we're not just stuck in the house. Since I can't visit the gyms. I allowed MD take over, and it did give me beliefs, and even set an…"
yesterday
Kiruba Shankar Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Well, hopefully the pandemic gets over soon and I get to see the real world and how it will take me from my comfort zone. I guess you could say that 22 is the age we debut into adulthood and we have a WHOLE lot of things to experience. The…"
yesterday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"It's odd, the summer solstice is here. I feel like I'm nearly coming out of my world, and see how things really are outside me. It actually sucks in a way. You feel like your world is what defines you."
yesterday
Kiruba Shankar Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"People will always make a first impression based on what they see, but whether they decide to stick with it or get to know the person better depends on them. I may look like I'm antisocial on the outside but if they talk and get to know me…"
Sunday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"What gets to me is how stupid I looked to others,..to make them instantly chuck me as a potential friend. I never realized how my lack of verbal skills really made me appear to everyone,...for them to manipulate me the way they did. It's like…"
Saturday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Recently, I realized I've been chasing dreams that might've come true if I took the correct course of action. For instance I have this habit of trudging down the coastlines miles from my house or through the parks, thinking I might meet…"
Saturday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I feel that people judge me straight away on my worst assets, most notably not talking enough. I think that I come across as very boring to them, and it burns them up. I can strike up a good long conversation as long as the person I'm with is…"
Saturday
Kiruba Shankar Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Yeah, there will always be people who will push and hurt others who are not like them, but that comes from their own insecurity and ignorance. I'd also love to meet someone who'd get to know me better instead of judging me from appearances…"
Saturday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"The only crowd I can ever relate to are the artistic people. Etc. dancing, literature, performance and fine arts. I don't seem to do it for any other crowd. Maybe that's why I was confused and lost in the beginning. "
Saturday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Thing is the more I get out in public and see people, the more they pick up on my odd appearance, and get judgemental from there. It's like they can quickly pick up that I don't interact at all...and I might even me slow. That is…"
Friday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I guess that I was a bit hard on myself. I thought people carried on how they did towards me was my problem. It wasn't. They were the problem. I was just their punching bag. I should've known this all along. But it took me years to wise…"
Friday

Jessica Ballantyne's Blog

Outside my head

Posted on June 4, 2021 at 1:26pm 96 Comments

This is going to sound annoying. Living in a town for 29 years, all I ever heard by others is that I'm so quiet. They literally couldn't get a word out of me. I was too busy daydreaming in my head to realize how I looked on the outside. I actually never knew it made me look stupid. Non-family can be vigorous that way. I always used MD as a way to escape my frustrations, but it did me more harm that good, so I had to quit. It was the best decision I made. 



What…

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Friends are not from Dreams

Posted on May 18, 2021 at 4:47pm 10 Comments

I spent my whole life looking forward to friends and relationships, and this actually could've happened, if I wasn't living on another planet. When I was a kid, I used to ponder around my room and other parts of the house, imagining situations of how I could meet young people in my area. I'd stand in our shady family office, looking at drawings and poetry, wishing that friends would suddenly pop out of nowhere and say hi. All I had to do was talk to my classmates, get their phone…

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In a Maze

Posted on April 19, 2021 at 4:40pm 4 Comments

When I was doing MD, I thought it was awesome. It lulled me into complacency and I'd spend hours staring away into a fuge, with glowing hopes things will eventually go my way. Unfortunately, it dug me into a deeper hole. Nobody knew my satisfaction as I have, but they didn't understand why my eyes had a distant stare, why I moved funny, didn't talk much and why I almost wasn't ever listening. It clearly proved to them that I was in another world. To myself, I believed I can do…

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Putting myself in one's shoes

Posted on April 12, 2021 at 7:09pm 2 Comments

I tend to be inspired by people from movies and TV series, and often wish I had their lives and personas. I know  for sure that I'm not those characters. I don't have their skill sets, minds, looks and their coolness. I work remotely at home, and it can be very boring, so sometimes I imagine myself as a doctor or computer programmer in a science fiction action film. 



Sometimes when I get out there and do what I like, it's still a challenge, because I'm an extremely quiet…

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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 11:40pm on March 21, 2021, Sakshee Dhumal said…

Hey do you mind if I ask what kinda job do you do Rn? I'm still a student and I've always wondered what people like us, who have MD, do when they grow up.

At 12:55pm on February 22, 2021, Varya said…
Hi. You can write to me as well, just in case. You seem like a nice and interesting person. varvaraamarantha@gmail.com
At 5:22pm on February 15, 2021, Raul said…
hi, if you want to talk, this is my email, i can hear you, talk to a person who goes through the same situation helps. raulvasconcelosb@gmail.com
 
 
 

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