Jessica Ballantyne
  • Female
  • Oakville, Ontario
  • Canada
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Jessica Ballantyne's Discussions

Upshots of MD

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Jan 23. 9 Replies

Has anybody ever fallen behind in life and made to live with their parents longer, because of MDD? I quit and glad that I did. I feel like I made a mess of everything. My dad told me complacency…Continue

I have rubber stoppers in my ears

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Nov 27, 2020. 4 Replies

I doesn't matter what's on my mind. If I'm somewhere else, and someone is talking to me, it's going to be a big problem. For instance, I came down to the kitchen for lunch, and mom said she'll heat…Continue

Jessica

Started this discussion. Last reply by JamesRelton May 13. 2 Replies

Hi, it's nice to find somebody whose just like me. Continue

Do Not Do This

Started this discussion. Last reply by Aquafirewolf Sep 16, 2020. 7 Replies

You guys, PLEASE DO NOT DAYDREAM if you achingly want a much better life. I've been an MD'er for 20 years, and I just quit. We'll it's really hard, but I'll never be the same person again. I went on…Continue

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Latest Activity

Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I also expected to at least have a live-in partner by now, but everybody was so frustrated with my silence that it just never happened. "
3 hours ago
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I my 20's, I was confident I knew what was in store for my future, without getting experience and gathering up the facts first. Now I'm shocked. I had no idea how many people were going to disagree with me. It's like I lived in my…"
3 hours ago
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I'm getting anxious lately. I have 2-3 weeks to apply to a college, and I still haven't made a final decision on a program. My dad has crossed out most possibilities, except product design and cad drafting, which are hard to find being…"
3 hours ago
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I think along the way...when I was in my wonder years. I thought that I was invincible and believed I can be a better ME, but instead of working very hard to make it happen, I just sat around and daydreamed about it for hours in the day. My…"
yesterday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
" Same with my parents, they could only do so much for me. It was always up to me to get experience and find out, but that's what I failed to do. "
yesterday
Kiruba Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Yeah, my dad also did give me some good advice, on how to be, as a person. But my parents didn't care to give me social tips, so I could've mingled better. I had to learn that from friends."
yesterday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"My dad gave me a lot of good advice, and I didn't really take it seriously. Now I feel sad that I didn't follow his advice in the first place. It's like I was too complacent. "
yesterday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I do have a few regrets in my past... I wish that I chose my career path very wisely. I jumped into a program that was too hard for me. Now I have to switch to something else—11 years later. And I seriously wish that I continued learning…"
yesterday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"It blows my mind the the social cues that I didn't read up on and comprehend, for the past 29 years I lived in my hometown. I had no clue why everybody kept on teasing and manipulating me all through grade school, of course they're…"
yesterday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Job boards are slow at posting. I apply to 3-5 companies a day. "
Thursday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I'm freaking out, right now. I still haven't decided on a program and a college, and have to make an application in 3 weeks time. So I'm reaching to all sorts of schools. My dad crossed out a lot of program possibilities. I chose two…"
Thursday
Kiruba Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Yeah, it makes sense. I have to get out there and start working. I'm still looking for a jobs, and the interviews I did, didn't go too well."
Thursday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I'm mad at myself. Like I wasn't ever realistic with myself. I wanted to attend art college, and be an artist, possibly marry someday. That didn't work out. Now I have to rethink my career or else be lucky enough to get a job. And I…"
Thursday
Kiruba Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Nah, it's alright. I just got caught up in this loop of wake up, play, eat, sleep. And plus the daydreaming too, which gives me hurtful scenarios these days. I do want to impact others' lives in a good way myself, but I wonder how much…"
Thursday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"In order to make yourself happy, you need to make others happy first. What I did was think only of myself. I lived in the world of ME. It doesn't come across very well with others. Basically, they spat at me. Moved on without me, of course.…"
Wednesday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Pardon all my messages. It's the full moon tonight and it raises my energy levels. Gives me so many thoughts. I think my real problem is that I wasn't interactive. I wasn't approachable on people, and I wasn't talkative…"
Wednesday

Jessica Ballantyne's Blog

Outside my head

Posted on June 4, 2021 at 1:26pm 828 Comments

This is going to sound annoying. Living in a town for 29 years, all I ever heard by others is that I'm so quiet. They literally couldn't get a word out of me. I was too busy daydreaming in my head to realize how I looked on the outside. I actually never knew it made me look stupid. Non-family can be vigorous that way. I always used MD as a way to escape my frustrations, but it did me more harm that good, so I had to quit. It was the best decision I made. 



What…

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Friends are not from Dreams

Posted on May 18, 2021 at 4:47pm 10 Comments

I spent my whole life looking forward to friends and relationships, and this actually could've happened, if I wasn't living on another planet. When I was a kid, I used to ponder around my room and other parts of the house, imagining situations of how I could meet young people in my area. I'd stand in our shady family office, looking at drawings and poetry, wishing that friends would suddenly pop out of nowhere and say hi. All I had to do was talk to my classmates, get their phone…

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In a Maze

Posted on April 19, 2021 at 4:40pm 4 Comments

When I was doing MD, I thought it was awesome. It lulled me into complacency and I'd spend hours staring away into a fuge, with glowing hopes things will eventually go my way. Unfortunately, it dug me into a deeper hole. Nobody knew my satisfaction as I have, but they didn't understand why my eyes had a distant stare, why I moved funny, didn't talk much and why I almost wasn't ever listening. It clearly proved to them that I was in another world. To myself, I believed I can do…

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Putting myself in one's shoes

Posted on April 12, 2021 at 7:09pm 2 Comments

I tend to be inspired by people from movies and TV series, and often wish I had their lives and personas. I know  for sure that I'm not those characters. I don't have their skill sets, minds, looks and their coolness. I work remotely at home, and it can be very boring, so sometimes I imagine myself as a doctor or computer programmer in a science fiction action film. 



Sometimes when I get out there and do what I like, it's still a challenge, because I'm an extremely quiet…

Continue

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 11:40pm on March 21, 2021, Sakshee Dhumal said…

Hey do you mind if I ask what kinda job do you do Rn? I'm still a student and I've always wondered what people like us, who have MD, do when they grow up.

At 12:55pm on February 22, 2021, Varya said…
Hi. You can write to me as well, just in case. You seem like a nice and interesting person. varvaraamarantha@gmail.com
At 5:22pm on February 15, 2021, Raul said…
hi, if you want to talk, this is my email, i can hear you, talk to a person who goes through the same situation helps. raulvasconcelosb@gmail.com
 
 
 

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