Jessica Ballantyne
  • Female
  • Oakville, Ontario
  • Canada
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Jessica Ballantyne's Discussions

Upshots of MD

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Jan 23. 9 Replies

Has anybody ever fallen behind in life and made to live with their parents longer, because of MDD? I quit and glad that I did. I feel like I made a mess of everything. My dad told me complacency…Continue

I have rubber stoppers in my ears

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Nov 27, 2020. 4 Replies

I doesn't matter what's on my mind. If I'm somewhere else, and someone is talking to me, it's going to be a big problem. For instance, I came down to the kitchen for lunch, and mom said she'll heat…Continue

Jessica

Started this discussion. Last reply by JamesRelton May 13. 2 Replies

Hi, it's nice to find somebody whose just like me. Continue

Do Not Do This

Started this discussion. Last reply by Aquafirewolf Sep 16, 2020. 7 Replies

You guys, PLEASE DO NOT DAYDREAM if you achingly want a much better life. I've been an MD'er for 20 years, and I just quit. We'll it's really hard, but I'll never be the same person again. I went on…Continue

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Jessica Ballantyne's Page

Latest Activity

Kiruba Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Yeah, I feel you, I've been there as well. People instantly take me as dumb and living in my own head. That is why I'm desperate to get a job so that I can counteract my MD by being actually busy."
2 hours ago
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Thing is, I wasn't listening to all the red flags and warnings in life. I was listening to that inner voice talking in my head. You just can't find friends and romance out of dreams. You're going to end up scaring yourself. "
4 hours ago
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Living in a town for 29 years has suddenly lost all meaning to me. Being confined in this area just killed the scenery. I feel like I want to move on now. Go live someplace else. Problem is I can't afford it right now, which is my bad. "
22 hours ago
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"My past was just messed. I mean, if I had more of an understanding and awareness of what was emotionally going on around me, I probably wouldn't have started MD. People didn't come up front with the truth, so I couldn't pass it to my…"
22 hours ago
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"You know, who we are, it reflects off of others' attitudes. If we improved ourselves a bit, then others would be easier on us. For instance, if you're not very social, then they'll get mean. If you shape up socially, then…"
yesterday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Still, people treat me like they find me a fool. And they act like they see right through me. I don't socialize, so they basically treat me like I'm scared of them or I'm being abhorred. Some of them stated that I'm the quietest…"
yesterday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I was a kid in the 90's and teen in the early 2000's. I doubt many people were aware of my case, and there wasn't a big awareness of mental health. No. It wasn't until the 2010's that mental health started to go out there.…"
yesterday
Kiruba Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Yeah, living in our heads, we can't quite figure what goes on outside, what people think and all. They may say something but do something else entirely, and I can't quite catch on, yet. I think back then, people weren't aware about…"
yesterday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"This hasn't occurred to me until up to now. I didn't live in the real world (like the NORM does) the people who don't do what WE do everyday, MD. That is why I fell hard on my face in all sectors of life. Whether its relationships,…"
yesterday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I think I was so complacent in my youth, I was caught onto a fantastical outlook on life. I didn't think, "Oh no, I have to survive somehow. I have to go to college. I have to save myself. I might not be in a relationship for a…"
Thursday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I think maybe I'm running into the wrong crowds. Ever since I moved to my hometown, it's been like that for me. Everybody turned the same face on me. I'm getting sick and tired of it. I want a new life and beginning, but I can't…"
Thursday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I can't believe how thick and unperceptive I was as a young person. When you live in other worlds, it's awfully hard to make critical judgements of what is actually going on around you. When I lived in the head of Jessica, I didn't…"
Thursday
Kiruba Victor commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"My case, I hung out with people who were good at starting conversations, and since I was decent at continuing them, I had a decent time talking to them and making friends with them. Lucky you that Toronto is a multicultural place. Here in India,…"
Thursday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I wonder if most people simply left me behind, because they simply didn't find me talkative and normal. I've heard some plain that I don't make eye contact. "
Thursday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"Have you ever heard the song "Don't Stop Believin?" by Journey. I heard it on the radio at a store last weekend. It's been running in my head all day today. They used it in Glee as well. There is some significance to that song,…"
Wednesday
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Jessica Ballantyne's blog post Outside my head
"I live in a huge country called Canada. I am quite Ok making friends in this part. Since it's so wide open and touches two oceans. Plus I live in a region that is very multicultural. Toronto is a city of all world cultures. So everything I…"
Wednesday

Jessica Ballantyne's Blog

Outside my head

Posted on June 4, 2021 at 1:26pm 317 Comments

This is going to sound annoying. Living in a town for 29 years, all I ever heard by others is that I'm so quiet. They literally couldn't get a word out of me. I was too busy daydreaming in my head to realize how I looked on the outside. I actually never knew it made me look stupid. Non-family can be vigorous that way. I always used MD as a way to escape my frustrations, but it did me more harm that good, so I had to quit. It was the best decision I made. 



What…

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Friends are not from Dreams

Posted on May 18, 2021 at 4:47pm 10 Comments

I spent my whole life looking forward to friends and relationships, and this actually could've happened, if I wasn't living on another planet. When I was a kid, I used to ponder around my room and other parts of the house, imagining situations of how I could meet young people in my area. I'd stand in our shady family office, looking at drawings and poetry, wishing that friends would suddenly pop out of nowhere and say hi. All I had to do was talk to my classmates, get their phone…

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In a Maze

Posted on April 19, 2021 at 4:40pm 4 Comments

When I was doing MD, I thought it was awesome. It lulled me into complacency and I'd spend hours staring away into a fuge, with glowing hopes things will eventually go my way. Unfortunately, it dug me into a deeper hole. Nobody knew my satisfaction as I have, but they didn't understand why my eyes had a distant stare, why I moved funny, didn't talk much and why I almost wasn't ever listening. It clearly proved to them that I was in another world. To myself, I believed I can do…

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Putting myself in one's shoes

Posted on April 12, 2021 at 7:09pm 2 Comments

I tend to be inspired by people from movies and TV series, and often wish I had their lives and personas. I know  for sure that I'm not those characters. I don't have their skill sets, minds, looks and their coolness. I work remotely at home, and it can be very boring, so sometimes I imagine myself as a doctor or computer programmer in a science fiction action film. 



Sometimes when I get out there and do what I like, it's still a challenge, because I'm an extremely quiet…

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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 11:40pm on March 21, 2021, Sakshee Dhumal said…

Hey do you mind if I ask what kinda job do you do Rn? I'm still a student and I've always wondered what people like us, who have MD, do when they grow up.

At 12:55pm on February 22, 2021, Varya said…
Hi. You can write to me as well, just in case. You seem like a nice and interesting person. varvaraamarantha@gmail.com
At 5:22pm on February 15, 2021, Raul said…
hi, if you want to talk, this is my email, i can hear you, talk to a person who goes through the same situation helps. raulvasconcelosb@gmail.com
 
 
 

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