Waiting

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I learned that waiting around for things you really want to see get's you nowhere. Maladaptive daydreaming can fill that in for you. It comforts you into thinking everything will work out eventually, just wait. Let me break it, things DO NOT happen along the way, unless you realistically make it happen with struggle and perseverance. 

After just waiting, well, I was a banged up mess. It drained me dry. I was a maladaptive daydreamer through my youth and early adulthood. Silly enough, I thought MD was guiding me and guaranteeing me things will get better, I'll find my dream job, and I'll eventually meet someone special. Problem is that I didn't really do the work. I didn't sane up and work on it the hard way. 

What really happened is, I whooshed around place to place, wondering about in a dazed and spellbind state...thinking I'll get where I expect to me. People were trying to advise and tell me something I should've listened to discreetly, but I didn't give a crap, because I lived in my head.

Those people would've woken up and shaped me back then, if I had just stopped and heard them out, accepting the truth in their words. But I was in denial, because I was so attracted to my imagination—I cherished it felt like my first born child—it made me feel so elated in a fuzzy and misty way, gave me holistic thoughts. 

...I needed help, and my family eventually found out my secret. I was a real space cadet. They can tell by how absent minded, gone, and deaf I was, not thinking of the other person, or even the world. Then I realize everybody must've felt the same way towards me. 

So everything I ever waiting around for turned out to be nothing, because I did something I never should've done. Live on another planet. 

So if you're waiting, don't wait, just do it and make it happen. Please don't just dream.