Present in Body, Elsewhere in Thought

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I see that not everybody has my brain...and they're not me...but, I feel like whenever I'm around people, I got so embarrassed or burned. It does depend on the social group, but I happen to be around people who don't know what to make of me, and can't put a finger on what I'm doing in my head...to block out the their words. 

I'll be blunt. I've had a lot of people respond to me in a way, they think I'm suddenly off in another universe or they're figure I'm suddenly someplace else, because my eyes are blank and darting everywhere, and I didn't listen to what they just said. This has been going on for 39 years—nearly 40, per say. 

Some people are easy, and some people aren't. But I feel people are reading me like a book, and noticing abruptly that I'm not social and normal.