So I was reading a book the other day, called The Charisma Myth ( Pretty decent book, but one part that stood out to me was a mention of how to calm yourself down when you're physiologically nervous, like say you're about to walk into a negotiation or an interview. 

The author recommends visualizing yourself getting a hug from someone you care about. At least twenty seconds worth of hug. Don't skimp. Getting an actual hug releases oxytocin, but turns out, a virtual hug can do the same thing. The oxytocin relaxes you back into a calm, peaceful state of mind.

The cool thing is, it doesn't have to be someone you know. It doesn't even have to be a real person. Which means we MDDers are at a huge advantage. We can imagine hugging literally anyone, including people who are dead or fictional or even our future selves.

I started doing it a few months ago and it was awesome. I try to do it first thing in the morning, because I often wake up with anxiety. Once when I misspoke in class, I did it while releasing bad feelings. Normally my DDing takes a turn for the worse when anything negative happens in my life, and even the DDs get dark and gloomy, but it's also been liberating to see how you can take a bad event and turn it into a good thing in your mind.

So has anyone else ever tried this? Who have you hugged, and did it help? Do you have other DD tricks for dealing with nervousness?

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Comment by Emilla on May 1, 2014 at 7:35am

Very interesting idea:)

I have learned something similar on therapy while contacting with my inner child and learning to talk to myself with love, with attention, allowing this little, always hurt emilla in me to feel that i love her and pay attention to her.

And I wake up with anxiety too:(

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