hey everyone...so im going through one of the phases where i wanna get rid of MD.Since im still underage and my parents don't know about my MD i was thinking of getting free online psychiatrist help. but then i figured that not many people are aware about MD and i did not wanted to get the wrong treatment. Im really confused about this.Is this actully a good idea?Is someone out there aware of some psychiatrist who i can approach online and is ready to offer help for free because i cannot…

I recently forced myself to go see a counselor about my MD and associated depression - who recommended me to a bunch of other psychologists - who are impossible to get in touch with.

When I was walking to the appointment, I was going through what I would tell the counselor - trying to make a point of saying things that would NOT make me overly emotional or cry.  Because I wanted the meeting to be productive - to get the facts across to the doctor - to have a quick answer to: can I be…

i'm an introvert.

i am literally my own best friend.

i am an only child, and both of my parents work, so i'm home alone most of the time. i didn't grow up with cousins that were my age because they're all 17+ years older than me (my parents are both the youngest in their families with huge age gaps between them and their siblings, who all married at 18 except for my parents...). at family parties, it has always been me sitting around with all these adults with no one to talk to…

My first gif ever! And I took it from the interview I did as my main character, as part of Escarei's The Famous Project. I just thought this was so cool.

My latest attempt at a cure or treatment is mind control. Heard a man talking about it on the radio show Coast to Coast AM. I ordered one of the programs called Serenity. It has shadowed subliminal messages or affirmations in with oceans sounds. You can choose nature sounds or music. The sound of waves is soothing to me anyway. The company is called InnerTalk, I liked them because they provide a list of all the messages in the recording, so you don't wonder what they are really telling you…

The title says it all.There are times i really want  a boyfriend. All my friends have one n at times i feel that even  want to have someone in my life. But the problem is that im scared that if i get into a relationship i will sacrifice my MD. I feel that because of being preoccupied with the relationship i will stop daydreaming . i have been dding for so long that now if feel that it is a part of  me and if i ignore it,it will be like betraying myself and also the characters of my daydreams…

I imagined my character finding love. I saw her went through hardships. I imagined her meeting him. I imagined her getting pregnant. I imagined two beautiful fraternal twin--a girl and a boy. I could feel the love for these two children. They were beautiful with the color of their father's eyes and hairs.

What I couldn't imagine was love. I couldn't imagined how intense their love is or how it develop. I couldn't bring this man to life. I can't truly feel him.

This…

I think many of you also have trouble staying focused when you are trying to work or study.

I find that sometimes I go into a "MDD tailspin" when I have a lot of work/ or important work to do. I remember distinctly that when it came to studying I was always distracted by my MDD. I also have an underlying hyper vigilance that usually gets in the way.

I found this online site/ company called focus@will

Here are some links:…

 I am finding that when I go on a MD binge that I don't take care of the house like I should. Dishes pile up. Piles of dirty clothes. Not picking up after myself.  Then, I come off my binge and then try to detox my house. 

It’s a rare night.

Sleepless. Slightly haunted. In a good way though.

Feeling the memories of past nights reverberate in my bones.

My skin remembers what my head does not.

Things that other people said to me echo in my brain like I just heard it yesterday

But it has been so much longer than that.

Everything feels so far away.

I’m behind a veil.

I’m looking sideways.

I feel a thousand things that I said before on my lips tonight again.

I’m aching…

There's a girl I've been seeing for a long time. She changes, evolves. I meet her different places, we have different first dates. 

Sometimes we bump into each other at a convenience store, sometimes she's a new employee at clients business I work with. She's just like me, she likes the same things I do. She understands me, supports me. We talk about stuff I like to talk about. Supercomputers, video games, she has it all.

I've come to realize that just about…

I need some thoughts on this situation that a friend of my friend is going through.She is unhappy and hurts everyone both intentionally and unintentionally and does not know what she wants. she has no friends, only "friends" for the sake of hell as she described. Is it okay to hurt others to be yourself? even if you dont know who you are?

I didn't receive the type of validation and attention that children should receive. I don't think many of us did.  It caused me in my teens and early 20s to struggle for an acceptance and validation that cannot be found outside of one's parents. I think it's an issue many people struggle with, whether or not they have daydreams. 

What makes it interesting enough for me to post about it though is how these issues are affecting my daydreams. My assistant manager at my job is, in short,…