Finally, ready to share it.

[Lekha]

I joined here a few years ago, but this is the first time I am posting something. All those times before, I was just daydreaming about posting. I could never go past that. That’s the curse we all have, right? We forget to live our own lives while getting everything we want in our daydreams.

My life was stagnant for years until I found out about MDD. From then on, everything started to go wrong. I couldn’t fool myself anymore. But I’m glad I found out about it. I had already lost so many years, but at the same time, I’m not confident I could have even survived those years without daydreaming. It was a curse in disguise.

A brilliant student in school turned into a below-average student in college. It was fine because I just wanted to live as quietly as possible. But when I found out about MDD through social media, I still thought, “Everyone does it.” I even asked my sister. That’s when I really woke up from my daydream. I was at the same point where I had started. I had nothing left — very few friends and very few memories.

The next few years were very different. I got depressed, developed severe anxiety, started taking meds, and so on. In between all that, I completed my post-graduation and started working.

I still daydream. I just notice it when it gets in the way of my work. I’m still dreaming — only the scenarios have changed according to the changes in my life, and they are obviously inspired by whatever I’m watching.