Why is it when you act or speak differently from most people, it is the common thought that it must mean that you are stupid and as such must be directed or talked down to. I especially see this at work. I tend to be not so much antisocial as I have a great problem fitting in anywhere. I'll be the first to admit that I'm sociall awkward. Maybe that has fed into my daydreaming. Maybe not, since I've been doing it for as long as I remember. I do know it has made it so I don't actively seek out…

I work in an extremely stressful environment and I've been in it for a long time.  I honestly think that this has happened because of stress.   There are other life events that have happened and so my MDD.  As no life is without stress I wonder if I will ever get better.

    I'm not religious and I've never been, I have completely different vision of life, impossible to combine with Christianism, catholic or orthodox (in my country it should be the Orthodox church). I've never understood how one could really think that there is God that one doesn't see, but feels. This year I discovered My Personal God.

   I discovered that feelings that I have for Me (idealized) are simular to what some religious people have for their Gods. I think that this…

     For those of you who do not know, I am fifteen. I'm a Freshman in high school (9th grade). The year is ending soon, and my Science teacher was nice enough to create an incredibly easy project for his students instead of making us take a final. Technically, it's against the rules, but he's retiring after this year, so he can't get in trouble. Anyway, he gave us a project as a final. The project required us to make a PowerPoint pretending we are in our 60's, in the year 2064, and to…

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/07/130716-daydreaming-science-health-brain/

I haven't logged in for a long time. No change or actually change but for the worse. I have the most fickle point of view and feelings when it comes to my "conditions" ...

I am in my world 90 percent of my day if feels like unless I watch TV. I cannot imagine getting back out in the working world like this.

I even went to a therapist and she was like "What?" When I mentioned MDD to her. I told her it wasn't official in the books but you'd think she would have heard…

I dreamed of the ballet and woke up feeling hopeful.   I'd bet physical exercise, like a sport of some kind would be just the thing.  It would link the mind back to the body. 

She was human he was an alien whose race had mastered the space time continuum.

..................................................

They were a couple from Los Angeles who staged their own death.

...................................

It was Paris in the seventeen hundreds and he'd fallen in love with his house keeper who…

So my MDD is primarily related to relationships.

I have this thing where I MUST be infatuated with someone. Otherwise I just feel empty.

So I've basically been in love with several someones (three at a time, at most) for the past ten years or so.

Is anyone else like this?

Spent the afternoon in the sunlight keeping company with two religious figures and the ghosts of Goetia.   Reduced myself to tears and I can't remember why. Maybe I needed a cigarette.  My pen pal says it's the writing process.

No wonder I can't get much done.

it may look weird but still it a fruitful way to stop md. paste your rooms with thoughts and lessons or sometimes incidents  written on bold letters on ceiling or opposite wall. make sure the most importent  lesson that you have learned in your life is visibe when lie in your bed and trying  to control mind .the most importenty the things which you wish to to do or your secret goals are visible .you can try putting different wallpapers that helps you control your mind .when you so badly…

The more I am aware of MD, the more I am aware of the necessity of stilling the mind.   Mental chatter can sometimes be the enemy of clarity.   A monk I was watching said he called it "monkey mind" because his mind was chattering on like a monkey.   A rabbi I watched had an entire sermon dedicated to the virtue of stillness.…

He's standing behind me looking over my shoulder long blond hair in his eyes.  He sees that I'm writing on an internet blog he arches a brow at me and smirks.  He points one long slender pale finger at the screen and says, "Now that's interesting, are you sure you want to share this?"

I say: "No.  Not really.  Because this is the TV channel in my head that is on all the time, the one I can rarely turn off.  Besides sometimes you scare me."



He smirks a little and…

Peace

Meditating now

Present moment quiet time

Makes the mind grow still

Breakfast

Bran flakes in a…

I love a man who isn't there

And yesterday upon the stair

He wasn't there again

He isn't…

Lost in the maze of my own mind

I couldn’t grasp that all wasn’t real

It was so sweet that I didn’t want to leave

I didn’t want the truth to surface

I want to drown

Drown in this false reality of mine

The shadows dance to my story

I chased the shadows

From walls to walls in the maze

All was sweet, so sweet

I didn’t want to leave

I reached for the shadows

only to find the solid walls

Cold…

A girl is going around announcing she's atheist.  She strikes me as being an arrogant show off.  She says she's proud to be atheist because it makes her different.  I'm jealous because I'm not allowed to be different.  I'm forced to be conventional.  She said "you're just jealous of me because I'm different."  I'm infuriated.  All my life I have been different but now I'm forced to be normative.  People were jealous of me because I was a free spirit, a hippie.  Now I'm being accused of being…

sorry yall i havent really been on here lately. 

alot of the posts are pretty generic and im focusing more on my own blog

but heres some sketches of some characters ive done recently.

maybe you guys will like them

;p…

Hello MD friends,

I have been having nightmaresque lucid surrealist dreams for about 2-3 weeks. I just noticed this week that I did not have any dreams on the day I had a sufficiently satisfying 5 hour MD session. ...And I am now wondering if my lucid dreams are a release of abundant MD creative energy? 

So I am going to do an experiment on myself to see if the two are linked - by keeping track of the hours of MD per day and whether or not I dream.  Has anyone else noticed this…

Well, this really isn't news.  It's just official now.  Years ago I took an "Aspie Quiz" and scored pretty high.  I've been in contact with Cynthia since 2009, and after reading many sobbing emails from me, she suggested a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder, and my doc at the time agreed.  No doc I've seen since then has disputed it, so I just took it for granted that I had it.  Apparently it was still unofficial, though.   I've been seeing a therapist for a few weeks, and she knows all…