Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I haven't logged in for a long time. No change or actually change but for the worse. I have the most fickle point of view and feelings when it comes to my "conditions" ...
I am in my world 90 percent of my day if feels like unless I watch TV. I cannot imagine getting back out in the working world like this.
I even went to a therapist and she was like "What?" When I mentioned MDD to her. I told her it wasn't official in the books but you'd think she would have heard SOMETHING about it. But because she hadn't she seemed not even interested in discussing it. I felt even more a freak telling her about it in my own words and what I do that I gave up. She said some other things but it made me so angry I am trying to forget it. But she poo-pooed this as though it was simple daydreaming. And even tried to make out how it was a good thing and didn't harm anyone.
Oh...harms no one but my relationships with my children. My husband. And keeps me absolutely introverted and reclusive socially.
I also asked her about my obsessive thoughts on other things and how I feel like I'm becoming agoraphobic. She asked if I keep an obsessively clean house. I said no. She said "well you don't have OCD" ...
Yeah. I didn't go back. Apparently they let just anyone become a therapist. Last time I go with a social worker therapist. Next time maybe an actual psychiatrist will take me seriously.
I am so sorry. I am shocked the experience you had, one would think that as a therapist int the field of mental health, that she would be interested in MDD since she knew nothing about it. This therapist should have listened to you, and offered to do research about MDD, so when your next visit came around she could better understand. What a jerk she has no passion for her field, and no compassion for people. Sorry you had this experience.
Yep, it definitely sounds to me like you have OCD. I just sent you the last study done and a very serious article that was done a few years ago. Good luck.
I would appreciate the articles so I could print them! I will PM you my email. Thank you so much.
Oh, the word stuck in the head is awful. I have had that affliction for as long as I can remember. It's not as bad it seems as it was in childhood but so many have been replaced with so many others. Mostly images and thoughts and ideas over and over and over and over to the point that I am terrified that they are going to be true or happen. I don't want to go ANYWHERE. Especially with my children. Ugh. I could talk to someone for hours about it if they'd only listen to me.
OCD involves obsessions, which are intrusive thoughts, and compulsions, which are repetitive behaviors. Not everyone cleans. I wish it made me clean, but it doesn't. Instead, certain words repeat over and over in my head, like an earworm, and I check things over and over again. Certain things I do a certain number of times, or sometimes I'll just do them until it feels right. It sounds like you do have OCD, and I know how time-consuming and exhausting that can be. If you need me to email you the articles and one of the studies done, I can. I had posted them on Scribd, but they were taken down.
Thank you Cordellia - I was floored by her question about clean homes. Hoarders are diagnosed with OCD so that blows "obsessions with cleanliness" out of the requirements to be considered OCD. The fact that I combat obsessive thoughts and I'm exhausted by them. Obsessive behaviors. Obsessive worries. I'm mentally drained so that I cannot even play with my kids. I drift in a fog. There is nothing harmless or NORMAL about my behaviors. I went to her for help and ended up feeling as though I was wasting HER time.
Your suggestion to bring in articles is SO wise. I will do that.
I would recommend taking articles and studies done on MD. It's been studied by real doctors who believe in it. Also, just because you're not obsessively clean doesn't mean you don't have OCD. My apartment is a mess, yet I have it. My therapist had heard of MD but is focused on my OCD right now. She doesn't think I'll ever stop daydreaming, but I'm not really focused on that right now. You can't quit by forcing yourself to quit, and you may not be able to stop completely at all. I think getting it under control is a more reasonable goal. Good luck finding someone more open-minded.
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