these days i daydream more than i should and find it difficult to stop.its usually about me a more idealised version of myself .My world the way i want it to be.so i was lyin on my bed as usual laughing and talking to myself when my mom walked into my room.she was like "what are you doing" and i thought oh god i am so busted.my mom thinks something is wrong with me because i…

The Depressed Cake Shop Experiment

 The title links to a Google search of an experiment undertaken by a bakery in   to raise awareness about depression. It soon spread to bake shops in the UK, Malaysia and even to one bakeshop in Bangalore. It aims to raise the taboo and silence…

I was recommending this website to someone the other day when it occurred to me that I haven't logged on here in at least three years. I was eighteen-turning-nineteen when I last made a post and now I'm twenty-one-turning-twenty-two. Man, time does fly. 

In that time span, my MDD hasn't really gotten better or worse, to be honest. It's stayed pretty stagnant which I guess could be a good thing - it means at least I'm not falling deeper into it. But it also means I'm not getting any…

the sun rises,heralding the start of a new day

spreading hues of orange in the dim sky

i wake up to my mothers shoutings

her shrill voice piercing through my soul

she says"why arent you awake,GO AND STUDY".

i sigh in exasperation,i know that there is

no use in retaliation.

i have to succumb to reality

i am a prisoner in my own home

my mother being the strict jailor.

each day i hatch a plan to escape'

each day i…

SO for 30yrs I have been hiding this from everyone, not even my best (and only) friend knows.

It can be hard to hide but I don't pace or run as some of you do so I guess that makes it easier to cover up

I tend to smoke twice as much when I md and pot is a important part as well, I find when I smoke a joint it keeps me from standing up randomly and my md adventures are really enhanced by this. (anyone else do this)

I have decided to tell my best friend about what I have…

This song was my "soundtrack". 

A little background: my main character is named Alex Stone. He is currently 42. He came back from Italy after 3 years of making new friends and embarking on new adventures. Along the way, he stopped drinking (besides the glass of wine with dinner), stopped the party animal lifestyle, and stopped having casual sex.

Upon his return to the States, he and his estranged best friend/brother have…

But I feel like I need to come back.

My daydreaming has become more constant than before. Even when I'm at work, when I'm doing school work, even when I'm talking to friends, I am daydreaming about my other life. And I've had new story developments because of changing factors in my life.

It's getting so bad that my other life emotions are mixing with my real life emotions and I'm more depressed than ever.

I feel like I need a community to help. I…

Looking back over my new years eve post and realised in actual fact it doesn't reflect in the slightest how I feel at all. It's quite embarrassing actually >/p>

It's a sad fact that me and alcohol never mix very well. Due to having moderate anxiety issues I realise sometimes drinking can take something so minor and run with it. Anyhow I did get legless and in actual fact, after I got some air so to speak I actually had a great night. Though not such a great morning after I…

I've shared this elsewhere on the site,  but I'm one of those who pace when they daydream. More specifically though, I act out my daydreams, speaking the lines and, essentially, carrying out the character's actions as if I really were the character (in my mind, the scenes/actions play out like a movie). This limits my daydreaming time to when I'm completely alone/at home. At work or in the car, I can do it if I really want to. It's no problem to talk out loud while I'm in the car, or rock…

I haven't seen it yet but I've read the reviews.  It sounds like a great movie but the technology aspect is what interests me the most.   Do you think someday we'll have AI which we could communicate with on a high level?  The reason i bring this up is it seems  to me a personalized AI(artificial intelligence) might be a great remedy for people who suffer from MD!  If you could constantly have a personalized AI around to communicate with you, engage in interesting discussions  with you,…

Hello everyone. This post will probably tell you nothing new, but I wanted to say hi and write a bit about my experience.

Like some of you, I am a very shy person. Not really sociable and insecure also. I had no friends during childhood and I was bullied in high school (although at least there I found my first real friends). My daydreaming began as fanfiction of books or movies or even videogames, but I gave it so much thought in the end I would twist so much the plot I would make…

Disclaimer: I typed these onto a word document due to my lack of internet access, almost compulsively in an extremely emotional state as I wanted to get it all out.It thus may not make complete sense-(correction) it makes  sense but is disjointed like a couple of topics have been coalesced(cut-copy-paste) to form an article.

When I am stressed, really panicking, I realize my real mind shuts down and I start going uncontrollably into my MD world where I am…

What it would be like to try to make a survey to see how we all pan out since similarities exist -- you know, comparing any diagnoses we have had, our living situations past and present and how we all look at our futures. You know?  I really want to look into creating one, however time consuming and thinking of all the content may take some time. 



Anyway, I was wondering (to whoever reads) which things (realistic!) you have 'experienced' in your DD compared to things you have not…

I've been unemployed for 4 1/2 years due to bipolar disorder and severe anxiety. I live with my parents and spend the majority of my day MDD. I rarely leave my room, I rarely leave the house. I'm trapped by it. Addicted to it. I MDD so much that I have no social life whatsoever, no hobbies. I watch T.V. sometimes but only to give my mind a rest because let me tell you I have been daydreaming so much my mind is getting really flustered. I'm also starting to get frustrated because since I…