Wild Minds network

Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest

How I end up back here

I am on my couch, just got sushi (freaking amazing), accompanied by Jack Daniels, YouTube, and my thoughts. The more I drink the more vivid my daydreams. The more vivid my daydreams, the more I want to drink because it's fun. Even if I'm out at a bar, I recede into my fantasy world. I am getting what I want and need, right? Companionship and camaraderie. So why would I rather be alone in my world than engaging with others?

I think it's because I can engage more fully at home. I can talk out loud, make whatever gestures I want.. It's like I'm putting on a show for myself. Instead of being reserved and precise with my words and my communication, I replay my day and say everything I didn't or couldn't say right then. It's like I put whatever issue I have on pause until I get into my car or get home and I can handle it. I laugh at my witty comebacks, it's almost like I play the role of my own friend. And I can tell myself these things silently but it is so much more fulfilling to be audible and gesture... That's all I have for now

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Comment by River on January 17, 2014 at 12:30pm: I think that we all have these pre-prepared conversations in our mind, I only found a name for this disorder 4 days ago and I thought my sanity was slipping. These little conversations with myself (or friends that were not there) is what made me question this.

Today is the day that I MAY tell my best friend the truth about what I have been doing...it will be the first time he hears it but I have told him a hundred times already. (I hope he takes it as well as the version of him in my head)

　

My freind is understanding, accepting and caring

He is compassionate, loving and loyal

He listens but is never critical or judgemental

Too bad he doesn't exist

Comment by Queen Dopamine on January 16, 2014 at 12:33pm: My love for this post is unbelievable. I wish we could hang out and drink together! Of course, we wouldn't be able to do our fantasies, haha. But this is such a spot on post. We get to perfect our fantasy world, the dialogue, the actions. It's really wonderful. You would think that, given the chance, we'd take personal interactions over fantasizing, but not always so. People can be exhausting. But fantasizing never gets old.