I fell victim to kitty cuteness once again. I was held hostage in bed for over 2 hours. I went to lie down in bed for a few minutes, but then Grendel curled up sweetly behind my legs, so I stayed for a while and meant to get up. Then, over an hour ago he curled up in front of my neck and began to purr. I rested my head on his soft back, and he purred louder. I petted him, and he purred, and then he bit me, so I stopped. I kept my head on his back and nuzzled him, which …

My entire life, ive been asked the same questions. What are your interests? what do you do for fun? What are your friends like? Every single time i hear these, i panic. Depression, anxiety, MDD, family dynamics, have always kept me from being able to answer any of those questions.

The truth is...i dont know who i am. I dont have hobbies because i spend all of my time DDing, i had to drop out of school because of all my unique problems, and ive never had many friends becasue im…

      I wish you knew how my life has changed since you left. I learned how to do laundry and how to make dinner. I can be independent now.

     I wish you knew about my dad being slightly annoying and I wish you could see my new bedroom.

     You always talked about how parents aren't supposed to lose kids, but it's pretty sucky for the kid to lose the parent, too. I wish you were still here.

     I wish you were still here to see me grow up. To go to my graduation,…

The definition of maladaptive daydreaming often always highlights, the fact, that those daydreaming are aware they are daydreaming, and are aware of their external environment. Now I find that sometimes I go so deep into my dds that I am am not aware of the lost time, when I begun to lose time, or what has happened around me.  I can get up leave the living room to go to the kitchen ( a very short walk), next thing I know I'll be staring inside the fridge wondering how I got there and why I…

Hey! It is Machelle here. I need a name for a character. They are hard to name! I have six that are regulars.

Holli

Main character, the bottom of the "a" group. Also supposed to be me.

Lindsey

Holli's best friend. She is the top of the "a" group. She stands up for holli a bit too much. She gets in lots of fights with rachel.

Percy

The middle of the "a" group, he is often picked on by jack, likes jokes. He starts most of the fights, the others know…

Twas a terrible night.

So I've been working on my book for almost a year now, which means I've essentially locked myself up in a room. My MDD is not a problem from me anymore, it gets used up in creating the work, but I can't really say that all of it is positive.

Unable or unwilling to writing for some days, I either look up inane stuff on internet on my phone or I just keep thinking about the conversations I heard during week, and then some related MDD, but almost…

My brain does this thing where it likes to take my life's goodness and connect it via an intricate mental spiderweb to sin, evil, and damnation.  At least, that's the way I view it some of the time.  The rest of the time, I view it as my brain Discovering The Truth saving me from possible destruction.  Either way, it's a hard way to live.  The world has a tendency to grow smaller when your brain's favorite hobby is "Find the Contaminating Evil in Life!" 



It seems to get worse when…

Hi, Everyone.

I know I've been MIA for a while, but I'm trying to get back on more because I really do care about all of you and this site.  I've had some health issues that have left me no good for anything but whining and posting sarcastic comments on Facebook, not exactly helpful for here.

Here are the blah-blah details you can skip over about where I've been.

I've had GERD for many  years.  Meds did little to help, and diet did nothing.  I had…

I found this page a month ago, And it seems everybody on this page hates having MDD.

But I enjoy being able to make up stories in my head, and being able to attach myself to the characters that I make up.

Not many people have the ability to do this, and I see it more as a unique gift than a curse.

Does anybody else feel this way? other than me?

And for the ones who struggle so much with MDD, why is it so difficult for you? Why don't you like…

So I haven’t been on here for a while, no one probably noticed, but here’s a bit of an explanation for those of you who do care. Just over a year ago I accepted a teaching job on the other side of Canada. It’s in the north and in an isolated community. I am a 4-5 hr drive to a grocery store that is bigger than my classroom and I don’t have to spend a fortune on milk. Two hours of that drive is on gravel roads. Two weeks into teaching a student brought me a cat at school because her mother…

I'm a strong introvert. As far as I can tell, introverts do have a tendency to have a non-addictive fantasy world. (I only consider it MD when it's addictive.)

I'm also an insomniac, I take a long time to fall asleep (for me personally it's usually 1-2.5 hours)

Due to my insomia, I spent most of my life tired. Although for the past month I admittedly have been really bad in regards to getting enough sleep, I've had many periods of time this year wher I have been getting enough…

21 one days, i have gone now without daydreaming. they say that 21 is the magic number, 3 weeks is what it takes to break a habit. i saw this day as a glorious golden day when all my problems would just disappear. silly i know. maladaptive daydreaming is not a habit, its an addiction. I still have a long journey ahead of me if i really want to stop. I'm getting used to it though and i have hope for the future. I've tried to stop before but never made it this far. i feel stronger that ever…

For the past, like year and a half (I think) I've had one continued daydream in one continued universe. However, I've split the daydream into 3 parts (kind of like skins, with different generations) each with multiple seasons and 'episodes' (though these are less defined) in each.

The daydream itself has become a complete addiction- annoying, yes, but not so much that I actually want it to stop. Through each generation the characters change slightly, as do the situations and even the…

My mom died exactly one month ago from today, and it's really blowing my mind. 

I can't believe that just over a month ago, I was living in a different universe. My mom woke me up for school every day, made me all my meals, got me everything I needed and wanted, did my laundry, decided things for me, ruled my life. She was my main parent. I was never close to my dad, though he is and was in my life.

Since she got sick and died (she was only sick for a week before dying), I've…

I mentioned this as a comment on someone else's blog.  Daydreaming is strangling the life out of my creativity.  I paint, I draw, I write, I cook, and I even used to sculpt.  The stories I write are so different from the daydreams I create.  The former is art (I'd like to think); the latter is soap opera.  It's junk food.  And when all you eat is junk food, all you crave is junk food.  You lose your energy, you become sluggish, you know you need to eat some asparagus, but instead you devour…

Hi! I'm back.



So with school starting and homework piling up on my desk ... I have gone to see the psychiatrist... again. 



So, this time I came back with more confidence and he told me to get myself tested for ADD : Attention Deficit Disorder. He prescribed me Wellbutrin, which is similar to Adderall but not as intense and it also treats depression. 



[First time in 2012, being so new to MDD, my psychiatrist and therapist thought I was schizophrenic with OCD and…