Since finding this site, i have taken brief breaks from my DD to consider what is causing it. Here is what I think:
1. Self rejection: I day dream because I feel that all the important people in my life reject me as I really am and instead of coping with it, I just accept their assessment of me and reject myself. It is painful enough to have others reject me, but then rejecting self, yikes.
2. Feeling alone: Life is hard and I think I could have the skills to live differently and make some of my day dreams a reality but every time I think that is the route I want to take I give up because I am fighting with reality all by myself. Feeling alone is more than I can handle.
3. Safe: DD is just plain safe.
4. Comfort: No one has every been interested in my feelings, but in my day dream world, my feelings matter. In the old days when my DD was helpful and not hurting my life, I would use the day dream to find out what I was feeling and what I really want so that I could integrate that information into my real life. Now the revelation of what I am really feeling doesn't prompt me to expose myself to anyone it makes me want to hide it deeper.
Cure: I know what the cure is. Acceptance. A wise woman once said, "Acceptance is the key to peace" Elizabeth Elliot. I have carried that truth around for decades wondering how to take that leap of faith on myself and just accept life, others and myself as is. I have had brief moments of acceptance and can say, the statement is true. It's a choice. And when I am in pain the DD seems like less hassle than the work of acceptance.
My head hurts from thinking too much!