I caved yesterday. And while I am disappointed in myself I also think the period of time without the DDs was a good learning experience. I learned that I could actually quit (if even for a short period of time) and I've learned a lot about my triggers. 

I've given up on quitting (although I am going to make more of an effort not to do it as much, or at least not while other people are around) and here are my reasons (or excuses. Depends on how you wanna look at it).

While it is…

This is gonna be a tough couple days. I have the next three days off so I'll be home alone. Its gonna make things difficult. Actually tuesday most of the day I'll be working at my second job but today and tomorrow anyway will be hard. So here's my game plan:

First of all I've found that when I occupy myself with other things I tend not to DD. So I'm writing myself out a specific schedule, as detailed as I can make it, and make sure that every second of my time is accounted for so I…

Right now I feel like I just want to curl up in my bed and be forgotten. To much is expected of me. To much is expected of what I do. 

Why do I have to goto to college? To get a better job? Why would I want one? To get a better lifestyle? Why should I want that? Why do I have to goto college just to have a better lifestyle?

I just do not understand why I have to be so mainstream. I do not want to fight to be non-mainstream. I just want to curl up in someones…

So it has now been 3 full days with no DDs. I'm proud but at the same time my confidence is starting to waver. I had the day off today and was alone most of the day in the house so it was a hard day. But I made it through.

A lot of times when I start to quit (this time included) I find myself almost arguing with myself over whether I should start up again. Its kind of like the whole devil/angel on the shoulders thing. The "devil" (not the actual devil. I'm not having satanic…

i have completely made up some of my characters, but others are based on real-life people.

most characters that i have are based on several real-life people. their appearance might be based on one person, while their personality is based on of two or three different people, and how they dress is based on another person, too. i don't have any characters that are exact copies of people in real life. even the characters that are only based on one person, i make some changes to.

i…

So yesterday as I was taking my dog for a walk in the morning I realized something. This would normally be a time I was in full DD mode because I was alone and the dog isn’t gonna judge me if I’m whispering to myself (I live in a very rural area so there aren’t very many people around), and when I’m in that state of mind I’m usually looking at the ground or just kind of spaced out and in my own head. I never realized until yesterday how much it really keeps me from seeing the world. I mean…

This will be long, sorry! If you read all of it, you are truly a patient soul!

I'm not sure if any of you know the Allegory of the Cave, so for those who don't I will briefly explain. The long dead philosopher Plato had a description of a cave. Inside this cave there was a person sitting, facing the cave wall, with their hands tied behind their back so they couldn't move. Behind this person was the cave exit where the light came in.…

Wow. I just joined this network yesterday, after months of trying to ignore a serious part of my life. For years now, I've thought I was crazy, but that's obviously not the case, luckily (though in some ways... lol).

I just wanted to thank all the great people who have created resources for myself and others to learn from and take comfort in!

<3

-L

Its been a little over 43 hours and I still haven’t had a DD. I’m very proud of myself. It actually hasn’t been as hard as I thought but I have had a couple times where I really wanted to. Actively trying not to is really helping to show me where my triggers are, when I usually do it, and where I am when I usually do it. Its surprising me a little. 

One big place I always knew I did it a lot was in the car. Partly because I am totally alone and I don’t care if people see me talking to…

In my anger

I broke my "happy" face

Now

so deep in sadness

I’m not sure if I can…

I have been suffering from MDD for as long as I can remember. I just never knew what it was called. Now that I know I have more hope than ever that I’ll be able to stop daydreaming. There are other people who do this. It has a name. People know about it. This is huge for me. I’ve been living in shame thinking I was the only one who did this. I was afraid even to tell my therapist about it because I was afraid I had schizophrenia or something awful that would mean I’d have to go on medication…

So far since i joined the chat i have talked and interacted on forums  a lot and it seems our DDs got as most common themes:

. your ideal self in a plot line you invented or in a plot line that follows events in real life

. a character and a plot line that could be a version of you, a character created by you or a character from a book/movie/tvseries/anime.

. romantic relationships and obsessions over celebrities or real…

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So the other day I was fed up with daydreaming and decided I needed some answers to clear all the clutter in my head. 

So I went to go see a therapist. Except that she wasn't real and she was just another made-up character in my head. In fact, she had her own made-up little office and made-up desk and I sat there in my daydream talking to her about my daydreams. 

And this actually helped me gain some insight into my daydreams (why I feel compelled to daydream,…

For quite a while now I have been saddened about how society labels you with a social reputation, and it sticks to you forever.  When this reputation sticks it basically prevents you from changing your personality. 

For a while now I have wanted to change mine from being energetic and outgoing to something else. Because unlike when I first started going to school I a sometimes scared to meet or talk to people from time to time. But with my social reputation, I feel that I have…

                Inspiration. I’m constantly asked “What inspires you to write?”, whether it is by an online quiz or an actual person. I am then expected to answer the question in one to two sentences, no more or no less. This question then leaves me staring at my interviewer, open-mouthed and distant, for at least several moments. No, it is not because I have no inspiration… It is because I seem to have too much.

                I am inspired the moment I wake up in the morning, by…