I Still Get An A for Effort I Guess

[Stacy]

I caved yesterday. And while I am disappointed in myself I also think the period of time without the DDs was a good learning experience. I learned that I could actually quit (if even for a short period of time) and I've learned a lot about my triggers. 

I've given up on quitting (although I am going to make more of an effort not to do it as much, or at least not while other people are around) and here are my reasons (or excuses. Depends on how you wanna look at it).

While it is giving me some mental distress it doesn't cause me any physical harm. Its not going to give me a heart attack, a stroke, liver disease, or any of the other health problems that some addictions cause. And I really think the mental distress that it causes me when I'm DDing is nothing compared to what I went through yesterday when I was trying to not DD. I don't think its worth making myself that miserable. I just need to work on figuring why it makes me so miserable and working on the underlying causes that make me DD to start with before I'm ready to quit. 

I am however, not going to do it any more around other people. My almost 5 DD-free days taught me exactly how much I've been missing out on life. I think remembering that will help keep me focused on people around me rather than inside my own head. 

Of course I say all that now but I really hope I'll be able to stick to it. I think I did learn some valuable things from my DD-free time. I hope I can keep them in mind.

[Stacy]

it is a stress reliever for me too. and just a general way to escape from reality for a little while. and as long as i can control myself when i'm around other people and it doesn't interfere with my life i'm not gonna worry too much about it. it used to be much more of a problem then it is now.

[Stacy]

thanks guys. the urge to DD isn't even as strong any more and I have been been able to not do it when my boyfriend was here and even when i'm by myself i haven't been doing it as much.

[Raz]

Same happened to me. When i first joined i also thought "then it's simple, i'm gonna stop it", but it's not so easy and can be very stressing. As long as it is not interfering with ur life i think it's still ok. 

[Jennifer]

You sound like you're doing well, Ms. Stacy! I think you have figured out what you're capable of doing and just plain out what cannot be expected of yourself. You seem to be making goals that you can achieve.
Good luck! You seem to be a very strong person.

XxxJennifer