Wild Minds Network

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How to Stop Maladaptive Day Dreaming? Part 2

First of all, everyone should read and comment on my first blog. 


My daydreams are mostly about me as the main character and I just have normal conversations with people. People I know or have met. 

In these conversations, I tell the person or people I'm talking with what I actually am thinking about...even though a lot of the times i think of fucked up shit. Sometimes, I'll tell my friends that i have maladaptive daydreaming in my daydream lol. The point is, I talk about everything in my daydreams, I just wish I was that extroverted in real life...though I am making an effort to now. 

My question to you guys is how do you stop maladaptive daydreaming? 

Jennifer suggested on my first blog that writing your daydreams down in a notebook or as a story will help. In fact, it made her stop completely. I've been trying to do this, especially in my creative writing class since we have writing notebooks. So, i'll just write what I'm thinking of, which is usually deep, meaningful shit about my life and what I wish to accomplish. I've thought about making a script about my whole life because maybe that will stop the daydreaming forever, but it probably won't because I need to accomplish my dreams to stop daydreaming. 

So that is the method I am trying right now. To make my daydreams reality. 

I'm thinking of my biggest triggers right now...

1. Weed (If you want to daydream your whole life, be high your whole life, you will get the most intense daydreams i promise you hahaha). 

2. Music

3. Waiting in line, waiting for buses, etc

Has anyone tried seeing a therapist? Did it work? 

Someone tried telling me to try hypnotherapy cause it worked for her for a total of 2 weeks. 

Has anyone else conquered maladaptive daydreaming? If so, how? Please share, I really want to stop daydreaming.

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Comment by John K on September 28, 2012 at 12:23pm

I have.

As a result of my choices (for example, focusing on daydreaming all day) I developed terrible social anxiety and at first was finding trouble being in unfamiliar places, then familiar places that were far from home, then places that weren't on my street, then my home, and eventually I'd have panic attacks if I left my room and having people enter my room felt like a violation.

With that came extreme isolation, severe depression, self-loathing, feeling victimized, despising people around me, etc. On the outside I still maintained politeness and consideration but on the inside I was a very unpleasant person and that would periodically erupt through the anonymity of the internet. The only thing keeping me from suicide was the guilt I felt about what it'd do to my family and the only think making life even remotely bearable was the daydreams.

The thing to understand, though, is that it wasn't the daydreams killing me. Hiding my life away and constantly running away from things that were uncomfortable or difficult was killing me. It is a lot like losing ground in war. At first I had all this space in which I felt free but as I gave up more and more space to the fear eventually it had conquered everything and I was its prisoner in a space that used to be mine. I refused to take back that space so all I would do instead is daydream about having that freedom to act again.

The root of any and every mental malady, that isn't a direct result of brain damage or chemical interference,  is fear. Until you deal with the things you are afraid of and diminish or resolve their threat (which is done by changing your beliefs about them) you will likely never stop daydreaming compulsively. The daydreams aren't the problem the compulsion is, and the compulsion is a means to hide or distract yourself from the fear.

"Triggers" and such are pretty irrelevant because it is not the weed, music, and waiting that generate the urge. The urge comes from what you are thinking. For example, things that reminded me of certain social situations (music, movies, stories, places, etc.) immediately caused an uncomfortable anxious feeling in me that would send me running to daydream to make me feel better.  Sometimes just thinking about the fact I was daydreaming all the time was enough to make me want to daydream more. I'd feel ashamed about it and then immediately dig deep into a daydream to hide from the shame I felt.

The way I finally escaped my need to daydream to hide from fear is to train myself to look for fear in my daydreams, which I've outlined here: http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/daydreams-deceptive-problem-... It is like a sudden mental car crash, your mind uses the daydream as a vehicle to escape he fear but then you throw a fear on the road and the daydream crashes into it. If you do that enough your mind decides daydreaming is not an optimal way to hide from fear anymore and the compulsive urge to do it dies down.

Once you do have a handle on it you don't lose the ability to daydream, I can still daydream any time I want and use it effectively when drawing, what you lose is the urge to daydream.

Comment by Darren on September 28, 2012 at 1:39am

your right about how to stop maladaptive daydreaming 

but i would have to disagree with you that md is caused by depression 

I can remember when I was little and happy i would still daydream 

I still live at home but am attending college not that far away 

I still daydream a lot 

for you, I would say you went to college to get a education to get a job 

so what if you don't get along with your bosses, all you have to do is listen and obey them 

anyways you know how to fix daydreaming and i do too we just have to take action bro, take small steps to our dreams 

Comment by Darren on April 12, 2012 at 9:30pm

just so you people know vyvanse is for ADHD, i don't have ADHD but I do have like a oral learning disability or some shit, probably got diagnosed with it just cause I daydream lol....

anyone try taking any kind of medication to stop md? If so, please tell me about your experiences

Anyone that conquered md please tell me how you did it!!!!! please i hate this "curse" but it can be a good curse too but not really lol 

Comment by Darren on April 12, 2012 at 9:25pm

thank you people 

bad hygiene is a pretty easy thing to conquer, you just have to shower every day and brush your teeth a lot and change your clothes, mding is way harder, you have to try to concentrate at everything which would be easy if everything was interesting and fun. you have to make an effort to talk to people and to get" out of your head". this is the stuff i am trying to do now 

I think im going to start taking lisdexamfetamine again, i took it once for a week but i stopped because of the side effects (I would lose my appetite and get really tired by the evening). While i took it, i noticed I could concentrate on everything and it was pretty amazing. It somehow gave me inspiration to do my work in class and actually listen to my teacher. I wish i could always concentrate without medication but once i hear something im not intrested in, i start daydreaming...and i dont think a lot of things are intresting hahahaha. 

The drug is called vyvanse and i remember quite a while ago i got a prescription to it, but i stopped cause i didn't like the side effects. Now i change my mind, i hate the side effects but i care enough about stopping my daydreaming to start taking it again. This just seems like the easiest way, it will help me talk to people more, i know because i took it before and hopefully this will raise my self esteem. Swallowing a pill just seems like the easiest way, i know i still have to put in a lot of effort but knowing a pill will help me a bit seems to comfort me. I've also gotten a reference to a therapist, but i don't think im going to take this path yet. I know how to solve my problem, i just need an extra push or two. One day, i'll be normal, one day, maladaptive daydreaming will be a small thing in the corner of my mind. 

Comment by Jennifer on April 11, 2012 at 1:22pm

Hey, there!


Thanks for mentioning me in this, but I hate to tell you that writing my daydreams as a story didn't make me stop completely...Well, it did for awhile, but then it just began to be a huge trigger for me, and I haven't touched my story in 7 months. :/ But it was worth a shot.

Just putting this out there: Writing does help for some people, but not for all. It could be a huge trigger for most people.

And I've been racking myself just to come up with a way-any way at all-to stop daydreaming...Sadly, I don't think there is a way discovered yet. Hopefully, in my opinion, there will be medication soon.

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