Just Open Your Eyes, And See That Life Is Beautiful

[Stacy]

So yesterday as I was taking my dog for a walk in the morning I realized something. This would normally be a time I was in full DD mode because I was alone and the dog isn’t gonna judge me if I’m whispering to myself (I live in a very rural area so there aren’t very many people around), and when I’m in that state of mind I’m usually looking at the ground or just kind of spaced out and in my own head. I never realized until yesterday how much it really keeps me from seeing the world. I mean really seeing it. It was a beautiful day out and instead of looking at my feet or at nothing at all I was really looking around at the trees and the plants that are starting to bud out and the birds. I realized how much I have been missing. Life is too short to spend all of it in my head without fully seeing all there is to see. The world is a beautiful place. 

I also have been paying more attention to my dog and to my boyfriend. I'm not finding excuses to go in the bedroom alone for extended periods of time, staying in the kitchen while they're in the living room or even sitting in the living room but zoned out and either in a DD or thinking about a DD. I was fully engaged in what was going on around me which doesn't normally happen. I'm starting to realize what a space cadet I've been. I noticed a change in my interactions with my boyfriend and I wonder if he's noticed anything different. I know that when I first met him my DD's went away for a few weeks so I was fully focused on him and sometimes I wonder if he noticed the change when I stopped paying as much attention to him. He must have. 

Anyway my point is that without the DDs I can focus on what's going on in real life. I feel like I'm living my life to the fullest. Don't get me wrong this is still going to be a long road but I hope these are some thoughts that will keep me focused.

[Stacy]

EludeMyFantasies, I think you are very right. I think for most of us with MD going into the daydream is a huge coping mechanism because we just don't know how to deal with life. When things don't go our way we just can't deal with it so we retreat within ourselves and make everything "perfect." The sucky thing is that when we "wake up" from the DD. . .life is just as sucky as it was before. It doesn't really change anything in the end. And in the process of trying to avoid all the negatives we miss all the good things in life.  There is so much good going on and we should just be able to accept that life doesn't always go our way and we need to just deal. I'm getting better about this but its still hard. I have a huge instinct to run or retreat within my own head when things start going bad. I need to learn that this doesn't solve anything.

[Will Paine]

I am glad you have found this new viewpoint on life. I do not see this myself usually because I take it all for granted. When I am not sick anymore I should go out and look at all the trees and maybe even the sky some.