Hi everyone, I just want to say thank you to all of you. I've spent the last nearly 20 years feeling confused but what I had always wondered is, is anyone else out there like me? Anyone else that does what I do? I stumbled upon maladaptive daydreaming on complete accident after years of searching for something... Anything. And there it was. I started crying instantly when I read someone's story that struck so close to home for me. As with many things in life like this, everyones experience…

     Two months ago, my grandma, at age 81, was spending the day with her son and his wife. When they came back at around 8, I had just woken up a few hours ago, and my mom told me to come outside and say hi to the son (Michael) and his wife (Myra). 

     I went outside and walked past my grandma who was standing on the porch and said hello to Michael and Myra and talked to them for a little bit before going inside and walking past my grandma again and not saying or looking at her. I…

     For the past week, I have really been thinking about my MDD and how my desire to do it is slowly diminishing. Like, all my scenarios are old boring, repetitive, tedious and just not much fun anymore. I've been wanting to stop for awhile now but I always seems to get pulled into my daydreams anyway.Ii still get knots in my stomach if I go long hours without doing it because I'm at school or if I'm bored because of the addiction part of it. Honestly, the only reason I do it now is because…

In my opinion, the two most important things in life are love and laughter. Having MDD deprives me of both. It does this by dripiving me of having healthy relationships with people. Thats what i long for the most. Im so tired of being lonley and feeling traped by MDD. My profile picture for this site is obviously not me. But thats how my life use to be. Being with friends, and belly laughing. Thats also why i have such a hard time of letting go, becasue i use to have what i value most. And…

Hello friends

               Today i m feeling very hopeless as i came to know that all

my hopes & wonderful feelings that i gained from DD. I thought this vision was making me creative and i was different from others.

Today i know that all greatness was part of a dumb dream ,that i m just a daydreamer.I wasted many years of my life just to seek fake pleasure and superiorty. In my childhood when others loved to have some creative hobby like playing,dancing…

I just discovered all this stuff about MD and I am so happy.  Literally cried and sang praises to God when I found out.  I can't believe there are actually others out there like me, who understand what I'm going through.  I have daydreamed uncontrollably ever since I can remember.  It's gotten a bit better as I've gotten older, but I still struggle on a daily basis.  I am so excited to hear the stories of others and make new discoveries concerning MD.  

The simplest way to describe me is as a helix of contradictions.

I understand people, both on an intellectual, anthropology-and-psychology-research level, and an emotional, empathetic level, and, yet, I find myself intimidated by and unable to connect to most people;

I see things that others do not see, and I am not simply referring to the beautiful dreamworld that I constantly inhabit; random specks of light will flash across my vision, which is already marked by what is known…

So life was doing great, I've made a ton of friends, marching band is awesome, school isn't that bad, stuff like that. In fact my MD was nonexistent till today...

See I've just learned two of my close friends are self harming and suicidal....so now all I can do is let my mind wander around till I can see or talk to them. 

Please say a little prayer or whatever for them....because I'm scared they will go through with it.

"Psycho-motor Agitation. Does this sound familiar to anybody?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychomotor_agitation"

I really hate this part.

The burn out phase. I am burning out of the current DD for now. It comes in cycles. I won't let it go. And I don't feel like going to a standby and haven't been inspired by anything new. I usually hang on to the current DD's for at least a year or so. Sometimes a break of an old standby for a night or two. But I go right back to the current after that.

But this is when I go a few weeks sometimes with barely DDing. I will have a comfort scene I…

How often do your daydreams change? I had one I played over and over for months, and then I had bursts of activity where I created new ones in my mind, and then I would switch and go back to the old one for awhile. Now my mind is back on creating new ones. With every new daydream, it's a complete story, from the beginning to the end. If I had any discipline about me, I could write some wonderful novels.

Some of my daydreams are just silly ( I think), but then again, I think they would…

Every morning, when I finally resurface from my messed up dreamworld, I enter another imaginary land of monsters, wizards, dragons and gods. 

I need that lazy hour for myself, just listening some repetitive music and daydreaming about everything forbidden.

This might be a good thing, because who wouldn't want to become a part of an epic story instead of the boring, grey and average consumer life? But sometimes, I need to focus on other things, reality, and I just…

These are two follow up thoughts I had from the reading of the same blog/quote at two different times:

WONDERINGS

From the blog diaryofadaydreamaddict:

I Have A Commitment Phobia.....In My Relationship With MD

The dialogues, images, the social behaviors and scenarios become a net of comfort regardless of my external situation. It's not a…

Hi All

I've been reading a lot on the effects of childhood trauma disassociation and connection. I have a reading list related to these issues and have sifted through the internet but was unable to find downloadable pdf/ epub version of these books. (Yes I'm the type who tries not to buy ebooks if I can get them for free). Was wondering if anyone had access to the following:

1) Born for Love: Why Empathy is Essential and…

I just joined the site.  This is my first time joining any site like this.  I only recently discovered the concept of maladaptive daydreaming, although I have searched for some time for some kind of explanation for whatever it is that my mind does.  I have wondered off and on for a long time if there was something wrong with me mentally, but like they say "crazy people don't think they're crazy" and I have at times thought I was crazy.

I have been daydreaming, as this site…

Im torn between being optimistic, and being realistic. Its so lonley, that there isnt a single person in my life that knows how traped i feel from this addiction. Im also torn from taking responsibilty, and feeling guilty, for what i am, and what i have let my life become. Where is there to turn to for help? How can i conquer this addciton on my own? As soon as some parts of my life start to turn around, i find myself being pulled back into my old ways. Which is the furthest thing from…

To anyone's knowledge has there ever been a convention of MDD? Just imagine it...if there hasn't and there was. I really think if there was I would do my best to attend. Even if I drag my family with me.

It has been a surreal experience for me to find this site. To blog about it the way I have already. Every time I read a blog post by someone here and reply it feels out of body.

I just cannot stop repeating that I'm in my 30s. I know I say this over and over already but…

do you ever just daydream so much in one day, that you cant do it anymroe and your head feels weird and youre trying to daydream but its difficult??? sometimes my head hurts or my jaw hurts if i daydream too much (is that weird?) im having the feeling right now. 

just some thoughts