Where wild minds come to rest
I'm pretty sure my maladaptive daydreaming disorder happened when I was an adolescent.
Music was my biggest trigger. I used to think that I wanted to become a dancer so much because I loved listening to music but I realized I just love pacing back and forth, living inside my head. Becoming who I want to be. As I grew up into a teenager I encountered a lot of events that I felt so helpless in.
Now that I'm in my twenties, I really need to stop doing this.
I usually never do it when I drive but I found myself doing it today and it scared the crap out of me. This can literally kill me if I'm daydreaming on the high way. I feel so depressed. I have the attention span of a freaking two year old. I can literally day dream the whole entire day, pacing alone in my bedroom with music blasting on. And this alienates me from my family and it's affecting me negatively in every aspect of my life. I feel so depressed because I fall behind on school work and then I listen to music again, day dream again, and the cycle of depression starts all over again. What's even scarier to me is that even when I don't listen to music I day dream. I can literally sit like a rock in my chair and daydream for forty minutes.
This is seriously killing me mentally. For once in my life, I wish that I could just have silence in my head. I'm always thinking or daydreaming and it's so NOISY and so freaking LOUD inside my head. I will never meet the characters in my alternative life and I will never be the character in my alternative life. I'm only 20, I need to stop daydreaming. I've never told anyone about this problem because it's so embarrassing and I feel people will look at me like I'm a nutcase.
When I have a day when I daydream for like thirty minutes, I feel so accomplished.
This needs to stop today.
Does anyone have any advice on how to keep their minds on track?