Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
For the past week, I have really been thinking about my MDD and how my desire to do it is slowly diminishing. Like, all my scenarios are old boring, repetitive, tedious and just not much fun anymore. I've been wanting to stop for awhile now but I always seems to get pulled into my daydreams anyway.Ii still get knots in my stomach if I go long hours without doing it because I'm at school or if I'm bored because of the addiction part of it. Honestly, the only reason I do it now is because it's still kind of an addiction. But the more boring my scenarios are, the less the time I spend doing them. Sometimes, I would be in the middle of a daydream and just completely stop because it's just down right boring and tedious but if I'm bored what other choice do I have? I'm happy my DD is slowly wearing off because I' am tired of doing it and being this way.I use to MDD for hours now I only do it for like 30 mintues to 1 hour.Usually if I think of a new scenario I can go for a another hour maybe but over all it never goes past a few hours. I' am scared that I will lose my creativity if I stop but I plan on taking up art and poetry so I wont lose that creative, whimsical, healthy imaginative side of me. I hope I get out of this addiction soon.
My daydreaming started when I was about 5. I have only 1 sibling who is a boy so I never had anyone to talk to which is where I think the urge to talk out loud came from. My MDD became worse when I feel head over heels for this boy band group.(I know sad right) I would pretend to talk to them using my posters of them and using my headphones to block out the world and into my fantasy world. I think my biggest cause of my MDD is wanting to create my dream life or wanting to able to talk to certain people or being in a certain place that if I couldn't go there, I would just imagine myself there until I got there or as a substitute for not being able to live in a certain place or look a certain way etc,. I guess its just my desire to always wanting to be somewhere else even though my real life wasn't bad or not really any trauma. It just a desire to make my dreams that aren't impossible come true, I' am just not working towards them because I'm to busy daydreaming about what it will be like instead of just staying in reality and working towards it.
What about you all? Have any of you started to feel the addiction wear off and daydreaming scenarios are just becoming boring?
Comment
Sam,
That's exactly what happens to me! everything is the same, scenarios, songs, people, it's all getting just as boring as reality. I strictly do it now out of habit never for excitement anymore. I honestly don't have time, my gpa has suffered because of this and I' am trying to get my g.p.a up now so I can get accepted and go to another school and a new start and leave my daydreaming behind when I do. I been planning on leaving for school but couldn't do to lack f focus in school because of my daydreaming all day. I'm tired of it, I need to start working on my reality so I wont need to daydreaming how I want my goals to turn out and actually make them happen.
I understand exactly how you feel. Whenever I day dream, I don't want to do it while I'm doing it. I almost feel physically sick. Sometimes I get dragged back into it but as I'm getting older, I feel like I really don't want to do it anymore. Every time I fall back into MDD, it's SO repetitive. I gravitate towards the same songs, same scenarios, same type of characters, it's so annoying. I hate my brain. But I feel like I'm really starting to wean off of it.
Robin,
Thank you for your reply. My daydreams have pretty much always been realistic things. Some of them have gotten "out hand" but most of them were not impossible things to obtain, I was just more caught up in wanting to go to that place right then in there that I would imagine myself already there to subside the urge to walk out the door and go there by foot. lol It also derives from my low self esteem I had and wanting to be shorter(im tall) and prettier.I love my looks and height now though. I also wanted some one to talk to more. Even though I still do it when boredom strikes, I usually have the feeling like I don't want to but I don't have a choice because it still an addiction. I can tell if I had more things to keep me busy I can come out of it much easier but since I don't I have to find other methods. I hope it gets better for you too. Its definitely getting better for me. I use to go hours like 6-8 hours straight daydreaming now I only do it about 30 to maybe a hour and a half but usually an hour or less. which is a big improvement. It's just not fun to daydream about things that are obtainable and within my reach, I just need to stop daydreaming about my desired ending and focus on actually making it happen. I'm just to impatient. I could have fulfilled a lot of fantasies which are based on real life goals if I just stayed focused on making it happen instead of being so excited on wanting it to happen (sorry if that's confusing) lol I'm just tired of not reaching any of my goals because I can't focus on making it happen long enough to actually make it happen. But the more I write about it the more it helps.:)
I've been trying to will myself to stop daydreaming for the past year or so. If anything, when I started trying to shut the door to my fantasy world the addiction just got stronger and stronger. I think overall I'm finally starting to come out of it, though. I wish my daydream scenarios would become less and less engaging like yours, but even though I've come to hate my mdd for all the years I've wasted doing it instead of living my life, it's still so easy for me to slip into daydreams whenever I'm bored, and they're always exciting, engaging etc. even though i know I don't want to create them anymore. My daydreams have almost always been about superheroes and saving the world and stuff. Never boring. I guess I started to rely on them so much because I felt so alone and powerless as a kid. It felt so amazing and satisfying to have a superpower and fight bad guys like in comic books, and it made my real life feel so gray and boring in comparison. Like you, though, my life was never really all that bad. You and I are fortunate that we have a chance to get over our MDD, because a lot of people on this site never get away from it. I hope it gets better for you soon. I think it's finally getting better for me. :)
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