Talking about this problem

[Lontez]

For as far back as I can remember I have been MD'ing, if thats a word lol. This is a problem that I have not told anyone about, because I don't want to be looked down upon as some physco or someone trying to get attention. I think MD started out as a outlet to creativity. I would play video games and imagine myself with their powers and things like that. I would even use the soundtracks on the game to as fuel for my MD, and I would pace back and forth. For years I thought nothing of it, because to me it was just normal. It wasn't until I asked someone if they had the same experience, they laughed and thought I was joking. Then, I looked it up to see what exactly it was that I had. As I got older though I began to experience different types of problems. I had a hard type making friends for a variety of reasons. Some would judge me based on my religion, and I live in a bad area, so I can't really go no where or make friends with the thugs. My parents take us places time to time, but they are busy with their business, which I understand.  Therefore, to escape from life's problems instead of choosing drugs or other forms of escaping, I chose the dream world where I can be free and have all that I ever wanted.

    Now I don't live in a poverty, I live quite well. However, it's a pain when you have all these things and no friends to share them with. People tend to ask me how can I not be content when I have food, clothing, shelter, video games, etc. Unfortunately, people don't realize these are just "things". ( Sorry if this blog is a bit long, with it being internal I have a lot to say but no where say it lol.) I keep this side of me very very well hidden, I'm actually quite social when I'm with people, but when I'm home, bored, and lonely I just escape to the Dream World. 

   As for what I dream about, its quite complex as you'd assume lol. In short, its about being in a war-torn world like this one, and there is nothing but endless conflicts. So I basically sell my soul to Satan(I am not a devil worshiper) for immense power to stop the " bad guys" and end the conflicts. However, since my soul is gone I am quite ruthless in achieving world peace even if it means killing children. I think this plot is due to the fact that I have a really big desire to see people get along in total peace. I know it's quite graphic but that's basically a summary of it. The only thing that keeps me from sinking into the abyss of my daydreams is my hearing, let me explain. I turn my headphones up to a certain to level, in order to amplify the effect of the Dream World. Maybe it helps me block out reality, who knows, but it makes my ears hurt and feel muffled, so that concerns me. I can't stop, because sadly I AM addicted.   - This is my story, I would love to hear what you guys have to say. I'm 17 btw.

[Water Lily]

I think that if I grew up in a neighborhood of thugs, I would dream about the same thing. You would use any power (no matter the consequences) to make the violence around you end. Bravo for overcoming so many temptations. I have known too many young people dying of drug overdose. 

You are still young. Do you have any aspirations? College is a great way to force yourself into meeting empathetic and interesting people (and advance your life in general). What is your parent's business?