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i am so awkward. i cant handle situations. I just cant. i really try and i can never handle soical situations.
I got a job recently (i only think i got the job because he pretty much hired me n the spot and didnt interview me and saw how awkward i am)

im a food runner at a restaurant, so i bring food to the tables. I have to talk to the peoplwe and say what the food is. i was kind of scared at first but i started feeling really good about it ad thought i was doing a good job. that was the first time i felt confident in a while. the next sday my boss said to me " are you telling people what their orders are? some people are asking. i know youre so so shy, but you gotta speak up"

i felt really upset because thought I was doing a good job but apperently not.
and one day i walked past my boss and so i smiled at him and he said "wow finally i got a smile out of you"

i get that ALL THE TIME. i dont know what to do! NO ONE I KNOW JUST SMILES ALL THE TIME! not even him. not anyone who says that. but everyone always says to me "why dont you smile?" I HATE IT SO MUCH.

theres so much more things going on that i could write about but you probably dont really care

and i was thinking about all this stuff like an hour ago and i started to cry,
but i started daydreaming for some reason and i stopped crying and daydreamed for 10 minutes
and then i snapped back into reality and feel better

hmm i dont even know what im trying to say
i just hate situations and i wish i could daydream forever and stay in my room

I have to use fictional characters of my imagination to make me feel better

ill never be able to be a normal person :(
thats exactly how i feel. i dont feel like a normal person...

idk ive just been really depressed and stressed lately and daydreaming is the only thing i care about because it makes me feel like i can be myself 

i dont know...

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Comment by Water Lily on September 27, 2013 at 5:57pm

I am with Stormy in saying "it is just a job". I have been upset so many times from bosses who are insensitive, inconsiderate, or too demanding. It made me want to quit, hide in my room and disappear from the human race entirely.

I think in the end, though, I realize that most bosses are idiots. They don't spend enough time getting to know the personalities and abilities of those they employ. Of course, you need to try and do what they ask and do it well (or you no longer have a job). But it is not worth it to let them demean or belittle you in anyway... A good boss would help you achieve your potential, despite any shortcomings. 

It's also good to remember in a work setting that the group is really functioning as a team and therefore everyone is invested in you doing well. They want you to succeed. They want you to be happy and confident at work - the same way daydreaming makes you feel. Sometimes, it is just hard to communicate to an employer how to make it happen. 

:D Keep us updated, and good luck!

Comment by Stormy on September 26, 2013 at 8:50am

You were doing a great job if you felt you were - and I understand how it felt terrible realizing you were not doing things exactly to his expectation but one thing I had to teach myself after years of working in restaurants is to take what is said - like speaking out the orders (and smiling possibly) as a challenge to even come a little more out of your shell. Think of it as a challenge in a good way and do not let it intimidate you. Kick that challenge in the ASS.

Another thing that helped me with customer service being antisocial as I am - is to truly disconnect work with my personal life. I used to love theater in High School. I could be someone else and well with MD don't we all sort of do theatrics in our own mind? I could be someone else when I acted a part and I felt less anxious and antisocial. It was perfect for someone like me. Well, in my work I do the same. I will play a part. This smiling, even chatty (but that comes easier for me and not everyone - that would probably be WAY pushing it so I am in no way suggesting to go that far). I'd come home from work feeling exhausted and not from the running around if you get what I'm saying. The physical exertion was the EASY part. It was my mouth and head. From smiling and chatting and being social in general. But at least I got that pay check. The REAL work was being what I wasn't. But it was "just a job" in my head. Now I stay at home with my kids but I will have to get back out there when they go to school and I dread it so much. I have to keep that mantra in my head .."It's just a job. I'm just doing a job" ..

Wish it was easier DONE than just said though.

That stress of it though? I fear in my case and probably yours - it won't really go away. Even when I was doing this I stressed about it before work every time. But getting through the shift got m

uch easier. You get into autopilot.

As for being a "Normal" person...embrace who you are. Really. No one is really truly  normal. I do not believe that. But being socially normal? If it's what you want - to be more social. To get out there then you should try for yourself. But if it's not what you want then really ...try to do what makes you happy. Not just to be someone else's definition of normal!

Comment by Sky with Diamonds on September 25, 2013 at 5:37pm

it seems as if most people sense things, rather than see tham. For example, what you said about smiling. Ive experienced that exact same situation countless times through out my life. Humans i think can just tell when theres something going on. They often times dont however realize when theyre being rude or hurtful. I absolutley HATE it when someone states the obvious about me. Like that im shy, and awkward. ive spent my whole life knowing that, and having to hear people tell me. its like, whats the point in that? it gets me really angry. I think you just have to keep your head held high, and except thats how people are. I try to play along with it, before i hear rude comments, so its like i beat them to it. Ill make a lame joke or something about how i am. That at least makes me feel a little better. I dont know if this post will help you at all, if it doesnt i just hope you remember youre not alone with feeling this way.

Comment by Iris on September 23, 2013 at 12:00am

Oh Ashlee, this seems to be a discription of me. I was always shy, quiet, didn't know how to get in contact with other people. I hated it, when my parents or others told me, I should be more open, that I should be different. I was doing my best! At school I didn't get the grades according to my knowledge, but the teachers said I didn't participate in the lessons. I thought: Am I not normal? When friends of my mother came to visit her, I didn't know what to talk to them. Once they told me not to spend too much time with my schoolbooks, to have more fun. I didn't spend my time with my schoolbooks, for me it was and still is not fun to go to parties.

Over the years I learned to cope this better. I'm not a different person and it still is difficult for me to start talking to someone I don't know or I don't know well. I think two things helped me: 1) I accepted my personality as it is, knowing I am shy and I need more time for myself than others. 2) I didn't avoid challenging situations. Over the time I could handle these situations better. You can use this restaurant-job as a perfect personality-training for you.

Ashlee, every person is different, there is not "the" normal person.  You are normal in this wide span of personalities.

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