My Personal Experiences with MD

[Christopher L]

Hi everyone, I just want to say thank you to all of you. I've spent the last nearly 20 years feeling confused but what I had always wondered is, is anyone else out there like me? Anyone else that does what I do? I stumbled upon maladaptive daydreaming on complete accident after years of searching for something... Anything. And there it was. I started crying instantly when I read someone's story that struck so close to home for me. As with many things in life like this, everyones experience is different but all together share similarities. So I would like to hear from people who might specifically identify with my experience. I started when I was a child. I pace and I cannot satisfy my daydream urge without pacing. I also have a specific item I have to have. It (embarrassingly) is an old magic wand from a kit from Christmas one year. I've always had it and it is absolutely necessary. I also always speak dialogue out loud.

This was usually all passed off as being imaginative when I was little so my family thought nothing of it but as I became self aware I started to keep it to private spaces like my room or a place people couldn't see or hear me because I felt like in someway it was not normal. I am 24 now and it is a built in part of my life, consuming many hours a day.

I am curious if anyone has shared some of my same experiences and methods. I am beyond amazed that this community exists. I literally dreamed of something like this existing and I'd one day meet someone that does this. So thank you, all of you for being brave to share your stories, it has profoundly changed my life and how I perceive myself in the world; not alone. :) 

[David W]

I pace too, and I use a stick alot like a magic wand!! It's so crazy to hear you say that and I know the embarrassing feeling. I've gone through many sticks since I was a kid, a friend would come over and say "whats this stick  doing in here?!?" ..and usually broke it, all I could do is watch in horror because I wouldnt dare tell them not to break a stick and clue them in to how freakin strange I am!!!

Hey, we really truly aren't alone anymore, I'm new here and you as well as many others are speaking my mind and blowing me away. I cried when I found out I wasn't alone, my MD has been there since I was like 5 and hasn't slowed. I'm 32 and just found out. Very emotional for me, like being pulled out of a mental whirlpool I was ready to let myself drown in. Now I really want to help others because it seems like alot of people much younger than me who could use encouragement and assurance. I don't believe our problems will go away but at least we can come here to talk about it and maybe raise awareness so it can be made known one day. Or we can dream about ourselves raising awareness and that will be easier and just as fulfilling ;)  Take Care

[ShellyBelly]

• Hi Christopher,

I too am a pacer and I pace to music. I have had tis for a very long time and I started it by coping my sister who I also suspect to have MD. I think it was just fun at first and then I required it to help me defend myself against very sever bullying and problems in my home. I am 27 and my life is pretty nothing because I waste countless hours dreaming of what I want to do and never feeling like I can actually do it. I am at loss for the moment but I am hoping to find something that will get me out of my head and into my life. I do not have any special instruments like your want but I also often talk out loud and hold entire debates with myself.

It's wonderful to meet and if you ever need any advice or kind words just ask. Welcome and good luck.

[Christopher L]

Hi Matthew! I can relate, I am very introverted, and I dropped out of school (got my GED though) and I fear I am moving towards becoming a shut in. I'm not entirely sure it has anything to do with this dding but it is interesting. I also completely agree, I don't see it negatively and I am a composer so I find its like a never ending well of creativity. It is almost an asset. It has draw backs as most people have highlighted here but I do not seek stopping. 

I find it really interesting to read so many people listening to music while dding and I do something similar to this as well but oddly I've never connected the two together. I don't do it nearly as much as my usual dding but its also something I happen to do (with music) only big difference is its more internal whereas I usually dd externally. Which is problematic with people and living situations. 

Anyhow! Thanks for replying Matthew I'm glad to have found this place and feel free to friend me and what not if you ever would like someone to talk to! ^_^