Lauren is humiliating me in front of a large group of people.  I call her insecure.  She shouts "sorry you feel that way!'  She is mocking me.  She says she thinks I'm incredibly lazy.

Malcolm X is my father.  I am forced to choose between Christianity and Islam when I would rather not belong to any organized religion.  I tell him I want to be a Latin American Studies professor.  He lectures me on why I need to become an Afro American Studies professor.  I tell him I've been…

I am trying to change my life but I have the problem of laziness. Real life activities are so tiring. 

I had this idea in my head that I would become a fit, intellectual and spiritual person  and practice  music for fun (and forget my loneliness, lack of connection, depression, social awkwardness and just general failures). 

But…

• Running 
• Studying 
• Prayer/meditation/bible study 
• Learning music…

When I was younger I didn't worry much about MD because I thought I would grow out of it during my teenage years. But I haven't yet. I don't mean to be offensive but I see that there are people in their fifties that still haven't grown out of it and that scares me so bad. MD isn't a battle i'm willing to fight most of my life. MD has ruined so many opportunities for me and ruined friendships that its not even worth the benefits that it gives me.  Its so controlling and so life influencing it…

i read on a post here about making your characters imvu.....

iive always seen ads for imvu but i thought it was a stupid virus thing so i never paid attention to it. but it isnt,so i decided i would play around with all the clothes and faces and stuff and it was kinda fun...im not gonna actually play and talk to people or anything





so i made one of my characters lol this is how it turned out …

What is MDD to me?

It is an outlet to my stress and my emotion. When I am angry, I create s scene similar to my life but the character is more in control. When I am sad, I imagine my character being sad and other characters within my story knowing it because in reality when I am sad no body knows it. MDD portray what I want and wish happen. It is the life I didn’t have, the things I want and the people I wish were around me.

I found it very useful because as a…

hi guys........i am writing after a really long time..

so much has changed.....yet my dds havent stopped at all

i just accepted it...i try not to think about it anymore



anyway.....i got results of my college admission tests(private colleges r costly n

public colleges have limited seats,ergo admisson test)



i need help to decide  what i read....

i dont know what would be an ideal carrer for me..

i cant stop dding.......

n i dont think i can do job…

To the day-dreamer 

I quit daydreaming. I also stopped listening to music (major trigger that I can never resist), limited TV, “internet”, certain kinds of print media  (like women’s magazines) in favour of productive activities. The other rule is that I cannot spend the entire day obsessing about my “self” (i.e. reading up on shyness, introversion, schizoid, identity, self confidence, depression and so on, basically trying to find a diagnosis for “what is wrong with me?”). To give my mind something to…

Today I woke up at 7am went outside to listen to music and smoke a cigarette. While Listening I, like many others, let my mind create elaborate battles and scenarios.

I was so enthralled by the fantasy that I began to feel actual physical tingling in my chest and stomach. A gut and heart wrenching feeling that I assume I would have in that situation.

I was wondering if anyone else had felt these sorts of sensations, maybe even fear or perhaps induced a panic attack. If so I'd…

I applied at the post office a few weeks ago, took the postal exam and passed but I didn't think they would select me. I usually don't get call backs because of poor work history or I get scared and punk out of scheduled interviews. In the past, I always got distracted by daydreams and missed job opportunities. I used to have a major fear that employment would take up too much time. I feared I wouldn't be able to daydream and it would make me miserable and I'd quit. Instead of finding out if…

It looks like a 2 day trip with a close friend and a big bottle of Belgium cherry beer can help me to not DD. Sadly it helps me to not do ANYTHING. I'm not living, I'm  just existing.

Hello, everyone... 

Have you ever found yourselves in the following situation?

Lately, due to what I believe to be gradually accumulated stress arousing from difficulties in my every day life, I find myself repeating patterns I thought I had weaned myself off some time ago. For the record, I have been an obsessive daydreamer since I was about six - I'm thirty now. Those patterns include rapid walking when I'm out while listening to music, acting out scenes from stories I'm…

This is for anyone who has the time and interest for this blog. Its basically just me rambling.

Today, i worked an 8 hour day. For which, i am very greateful for. Especially since Thanksgiving is tommorow. For now, it was just for today, but still, its better than nothing. I hadent woken up that early since high school. I got ready, did my makeup, (which most of the time im too exauhsted to do). I was proud of myself. On my way to work, i tried to stay forcused and not DD.…