OMG there was an attempted terrorist attack at the Christmas tree lighting a block from my apt. SO SCARY. I didn’t go because of the crowds, but still. I’m shaking. I feel so vulnerable all the time. It’s worse because I’m such a loner that I’m certain my cats would starve to death if anything happened to me. No one would know until it’s too late. I wish there was something I could do. Some way to ensure they’d be taken care of. I don’t free feed them because so many vets…

Hi.

I just joined here... not really sure what to expect. I guess i should start with a little introduction? I'm Karla... and I have this "disorder", as they call it. Part of me hates it, hates them, but part of me can't help but love it. To be honest, my daydreams are a small light to focus on when my world freezes over. When lonliness makes me choke for air, my lungs longing for a small breath of liberation. (Though unexpectatley, it caused most of my depression. Oh, the…

Seeds of fear:…

I’m trying to remember if there was ever a moment in my life where I wasn’t completely paralyzed by the fear that my whole world was about to come crashing down on me. It’s so bad. I start the day by fearing all I have to do & knowing I’ll never catch up. I fear the phone. I check my email, afraid of what may be inside. I’m afraid that someone’s going to email me angry, judging me for my attitude, telling me they won’t help me. I fear the phone because I know it’s bill…

I've been grouchy all week, and I haven't wanted to talk about it. Here's the thing: I went to a sweat lodge for the first time last weekend. I thought it would be relaxing, but it was actually very intense. I enjoyed it at the time, but I realized afterward that my lust for the intense fantasies was triggered. My MD has always been very physical. I don't just pace; I run back and forth and jump in the air, often bouncing off of a wall when I do it. So I think the physical intensity…

Im new here, as of today. I am also a member of the Yahoo! MD group, but have recently become quite frustrated with it. It annoys me that whilst everyone on the group is happy to talk openly about their MD experience, nobody wants to discuss making the "disorder" more public. I honestly believe that its the only way us lot can be helped, for MD to be thrust into the view of the medical profession. I guess I just personally feel at a dead end. There is no escape from my MD addiction and it…

It seems like everyone else here knows when it started. I have no recollection of a time before this or when the first time would have been.

Unlike many of the other stories I've read, I am not a part of this elaborate, persistant, addictive daydream world. I don't exist in this world in any remote way. It's just a place I create and watch voyeristically with intermittent severity.

This place isn't better than the one I live in. The people who…

I'm Michael Gibson (some of my friends call me "Sparky), I live in Albany Oregon and am 53 yrs old. I've had strong sensory independant imagitive abilities sense childhood, but did not find my daydreams becoming addictive until the late '80's. I've always known that I could not be the only one, but did not find this site until today and I just have to say ... Thank god!

Thank all of you for just being you .. and thanks especially to Cordellia for starting this group. (Chalk one up for…