Dear Doctor....

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Dear Doctor,

I know you love your profession. At least I hope you do. I hope you got into this field with a desire to really help people & not just for the money and prestige. I'm saying this because at the age of 30, I find myself disheartened. I've lost faith in you.

I know you're human. That seems to be the number one response. Of course you're human, so let's get that out of the way. I know you're human, and you know I'm human. Good, now that that's settled, neither one of that can use that as a defense. My problem with you isn't that you make mistakes. It's that you don't care and don't try anymore. The DSM is a wonderful tool and guide, but you rely on it too heavily. You act like you're a computer & that the DSM is your programming language. You can only do what you're programmed to do..........but you're NOT a computer. You're a human being with a brain who can think outside the book. You're not bound to what's inside, so stop regurgitating it like you're on auto-pilot. I have the DSM. I've read up on every disorder it has ever been suggested that I might have and plenty more. I'm not paying you hundreds of dollars to rephrase the DSM. I can read for myself. Listen to what I say, and let's talk about what's going on like intelligent adults.

Be professional, and stop judging me. I know I'm sensitive & I can't say hello without bursting into tears of frustration. I know I have sensitivities that aren't normal. Being a doctor, I would expect you to be a little more tolerant than average. I can't be your first sensitive patient, and if I'm your first patient who has these issues then the instant I leave you'd better start doing some research. Do not EVER tell me I'm rude for politely bringing up an issue, like the way you smack when you talk. If I tell you I'm sensitive & ask you nicely to be aware then DO IT. That's not rude. The fact that I'm sensitive does not make certain behaviors of YOURS any less rude. Stop acting like you're in a position of superiority. You're not. In fact, the more I talk to you, and the more judgment I see in your eyes and hear in your voice the more sad I feel for you. It is unprofessional and unconscionable that you should judge me for having the very issues you're here to treat me for. If you can't help, fine, but don't you ever roll your eyes and put me down.

Stop staring into space when I talk. I know I have a lot to say, and I know I say it rapidly. I know you have all this pre-programmed knowledge, but that doesn't mean you have all the answers. My brain is not in the DSM. Stop acting like you're checking off symptoms from a list you've got memorized. You've read it enough to know that lots of conditions have overlapping symptoms, so pay attention. If something doesn't fit, then move on, especially if I tell you it doesn't fit. You may think you're the expert, but I've been living with my brain for 30 years. You know the DSM, but I know how my mind works. If something doesn't fit, then I'm going to tell you how it doesn't fit and why. Take notes. You say you're only human when I point out a mistake, so let's start out with that knowledge. Know in advance that your assumptions may be wrong. Be prepared to have to think a little more. I've seen many doctors and gone through extensive testing. I've seen enough glazed-over expressions to wonder if the whole psychiatric community isn't suffering from Maladaptive Daydreaming as well.

Anti-depressants aren't the end-all, be-all answer. They don't work for many many people. If they had, I would've been cured several doctors ago. Don't roll your eyes and sigh when I tell you know. I'm not being uncooperative. I've TRIED them already. I've tried enough drugs to sink a ship, and most of them only made me sick. I'll try your methods if I haven't ruled them out before, but I will not take a single pill or do anything until I know you're really listening & paying attention. You wouldn't let a doctor treat you who didn't understand your condition, and neither will I.

I'm going to do what's right for me. I've known for many years what was the underlying cause of my issues. I've tried every wrong treatment & only gotten sick or felt nothing. I've read dozens of articles and much of the DSM. I've gone through tests & played all kinds of games. Talking to someone who doesn't understand isn't therapy. It's frustrating, and as a person with anxiety, it only makes it worse. I will not pay your therapy games. I'm taking charge of my own treatment. It's time for you to listen and learn. I'm working hard to find answers for myself and others like me. I'm going to educate the psychological community even if I have to email every single last one of you. I will not let my people be treated with the kind of laziness that I've been treated with. If you're going to put them down, you'll have to answer to me. Many of them are shy & scared to talk back to you. NOT me. I've gone through too much. If you're ready to join the discussion, feel free. I'm right here waiting.

Sincerely,

Cordellia

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Talk back, and make sure they're listening. Bring it up, first. "I know I have anxiety. It might be that, or it might not. (insert the method you've tried a thousand times) isn't fixing the problem. I still need to find some answers." If they won't look you in the eye & discuss it with you like you're a partner in the solution, then find someone who will. They should be good listeners. When they stop listening, they stop working with you.

[H89]

*claps* I'm currently suffering from some sort of strange migraine episodes and I keep getting treated like SHI* over it just because I happen to have psych problems too. There are so many doctors out there that need to get their heads out of their asse* I'm getting sick and tired of having everything from kidney stones(confirmed with a CT scan), to infections, and migraines blamed on my anxiety(until proven otherwise). Seriously ahhhh

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I've actually seen many doctors. One truly bad & many who were just fine. The bad doctor was childish & rude. The ok ones still stopped listening after a few seconds. Their eyes glazed over & they diagnosed me with the next closest thing that they were familiar with. The good ones weren't really doctors. Those are the ones who were open-minded & willing to listen, genuinely curious because they didn't know the answers. I wish they would never stop being like that. After awhile they get set in a pattern & get lazy.

[Michael Gibson]

Sounds like you've had a bad visit to a bad doctor Cordellia. I've always thought it odd that folks treat doctors as though they are all knowing, all seeing. Worse is when the doctor comes to believe that. I've gone to a few medical doctors that didn't really listen, and though it can be a hassle, I switced doctors.
A have a feeling that with psychiatrists it's even worse.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

The point is not that you should never listen to a doctor. Just don't listen blindly, EVER. You shouldn't listen to anyone blindly. Be especially mindful when you have a condition that others don't know about. Most people have multiple layers to their personalities. Many people have co-morbid conditions. If you have something else & treatment works, go for it. Try things. Just don't let anyone push you around. If a doctor doesn't listen & acknowledge the possibility of another condition, I find that very off-putting. I don't trust anyone who won't work with me. Treatment is not a one-way street. It's a partnership. If the doctor just expects you to just do what he or she says, I personally would walk out after giving them a very stern education. If they listen & have good ideas, then all the better. I just want doctors to know that I won't be a passive part of my treatment. They're not gods, and they can't boss me around. I don't want them to boss around any of my members either. Those who are kind & open-minded will agree & know that this doesn't apply to them. If your doctor has questions about this condition, feel free to send them to Cynthia or myself. I'll be happy to talk to anyone. It's easy to say no to one person..........but try telling 140 people that their condition doesn't exist.

[Michael Gibson]

Hmm .. where is the edit feature! By saying that my MD may be co-morbid, I mean to say that working out other issues may be the best direction to look at for right now.. (As in, I've been beating my head against a wall trying to find work, and having relationship problems. I use daydreaming as an avoidance techique.

[Michael Gibson]

I have gone to a few therapist for various life issues. The least helpful one had a PHD. The most helpful have "only' been MSW's. I'm pondering if this might be because they are not quite so tied to the DSM?
I know I've always had the ability to get lost in daydreams, but with me, addictive daydreaming didn't happen until I was in my 30's; as such, I consider (at present anyway) that my MD may co-morbid, so regular therapy is a help sometimes. It was not until this week that I contacted my therapist and asked her to check out MD on the web, so we could talk about it, and how it may overlap with some other issues.
From what you are saying here Cordellia, I'm glad I have NOT opened up to some of the other therapists I've been to. I'm curious about how the session will go later this week.
By the way, I trust this counciler as I've discussed some spiritual issues that would have had the 'good doctor' scrambling for meds!
By the way, the worst counciler I had was a minister. It was not that he was trying to push Religion at me (he wasn't), It was that he was far too agreeable and I don't trust that either.
MG