People don't know how many lies I've old to cover up that I have mdd( especially with my parents) I have been daydreaming ever since I could remember, my first maladaptive daydreams were of mermaids, then of angles and super heroes. I have created a complex family tree that I have been dwelling upon for about 4 years now, moving from character to character. I tried a media fast, but that only made things worse, it gave me more free time to imagine Cancri E, the plant Amity is from,and Amity…

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Hey everyone,

Christmas is a half religious - half comercial holiday, and it's a weird holiday. It is said to stand for 1) Family and friends gathering 2) Light coming back to the world 3) The birth of the messias 4) Some fat american flying around in a sleigh.

So yeah... it's confusing.

Regardless of the meaning, I think most of all you need to give it your own meaning. People are celebrating, and it's a nice thing to wonder about what in your life you think is worth…

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A favorite pastime for my day dreams is to go into the really obscure details to make my world seem really real. Since returning home for winter break, I've been designed flags of the Western Union, a country from my day dreams that you can read more about in my other blog posts. 

I decided to make flags for each of the Western Union's 26 provinces to give them an identity on the battlefield when I draw battle flags. The Western Union is like the United States insofar that it…

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Yes......I have started liking the feeling of feeling unpleasant. I try to emotionally hurt myself by purposely getting insulted by ppl, purposely staying alone, purposely making myself a culprit for all the problems in front of others. I get great satisfaction. When it comes to physical pain certain types of pain due make me smile(like the burning pain you get when u fall on the ground or that of a scratch, menstrual cramps, etc). However I would still like to stay away from headaches and… Continue

Hey guys, seems like nobody has shared this so far, so I'm just putting it here for whoever is interested.

http://www.somer.co.il/images/docs/2016_MDS.pdf

After finishing my latest reply to Eretaia's giant 4-part post, I went to read my first ever post on this site, just for the heck of it. I think I'm a bit shocked by how low I have sunk since then.

Here I was, a couple of minutes ago, expecting to find childish ranting and general bulls- like usually happens when I read my old posts. Now I think I really need to do something. So what is that something, you may wonder.

Oh, that's the fun part. How about a guessing…

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After spending many years in denial and some more in finding out what was wrong with me, I'm finally visiting a psychiatrist. 

Riding there in a cab, I think about myself for the first time in many days. I think about this person, who was me, willingly riding towards what I thought would be a painful ordeal. It was.

The ride itself is oddly calming – open spaces on both sides of the road, tress, grass, people going about their daily mundane-ness, the cool breeze that made my…

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Since the beggining of 10th grade (four months ago) my MDD started getting worse and worse. Before 10th grade I was able to concentrate enough to study, do my homework and try to listen in class. Now I can't do these things anymore: my homework are never done, my exams are half-finished and I can barely listen to what the teachers say. I tried not having any triggers around me like music. But I become very agressive and anxious when I don't have music. And now to make it worse my DD triggers…

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has anyone here ever felt nauseous/thrown up from pacing too much after eating? it's been happening a lot lately, but i can't help it. sometimes if i'm alone, i'll even pace while i'm eating because i can't control it. or i'll sit down, take a bite, pace a little, sit back down, take another bite, pace, etc. i feel like a madman(woman?).

I've concluded boredom and too much free time is the biggest cause for my day dreams.

It started when I was younger as an escape from bullying and social anxiety and now I use it for escape, comfort and entertainment.

Any tips on how to keep myself busy to stop doing it so much??? Desperately looking for a graduate job... but for an English student with social anxiety and poor communication skills it's not the easiest of tasks!

I'm on my nearing the end of my 4th year of treatment for depression, and I think I've come to a conclusion. My depression is highly likely to have an internal cause. Which is why a change in environment, whatever it may be, doesn't have a significant influence on my mood.

Which is why my MDD, as a coping mechanism, doesn't ever leave. 

I changed my university course, went with my heart instead of my head. I tried to keep myself busy, but it didn't last long. I caught a viral…

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   Hi there. I'm new here, but from the posts I've seen, we've all traveled the same path. I think I've had MDD since my early adulthood. But I wonder if anyone else has dealt with multiple personas, as in being more than one character, all interacting with each other. Sometimes more than ten characters, all dealing with each other, and elaborate situations, being able to be different people; but I don't think it's multiple personalities.

   Has anyone else experienced this? I'm very…

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Hello. I'm Rachel, seventeen years old. I know I met many of you in the past several months on here, and lately timezones haven't quite been in my favor so it's been hard for me to keep in contact with some of the people I met here in the summer. Many of you who I've met know that my daydreams have been gone for about three-ish years now. They came when I was eleven, very suddenly, and left very gradually when I was fourteen-ish years old. At first, I was very sad when they left, because I…

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