just another sunrise without sleep

golden rays hit my cold face

doesn't make a difference

i am unhappy

momentary happiness 

comes back every now and then

makes me laugh and smile

but sadness lives inside me

wasn't this all i wanted

was it something more?

should i wait?

or should i go…

It's a double edge sword. MD has stopped me pushing forward in life and doing things as it can take away days but without I truly do believe I would not be here today.

It shields me or hides my depression from me.

I have felt suicidal in the past and somehow it has pulled me through I imagine happiness and friendships and love but then when reality bites I realise MD maybe causing my depression getting me to stay in and not socialise unless necessary like work.

I want to…

It's been about five days since I've began slowly stripping away maladaptive daydreaming. It's been going pleasantly well so far by my surprise.  In the beginning I told myself I'm just going to quit cold turkey and if I have some slip-ups it's OK and Iv'e been doing just that. I haven't had as nearly many urges to have "my time" and if I do I will only have it for 10 minutes and then be done with it and I am satisfied with that. After I've had my ten minutes I'm good for the day. I would…

like most of you i was blatantly surprised and  happy for the fact that there are more people like me..for now am on the learning phase of my condition.....one thing that bothered me is that none of you mentioned about what language u use in your day dream even though English is not my mother tongue i tend to create a most of the scenario with it.

There is nothing else for it.  I struggle so hard to turn it off when I need to. If I could flip a switch and just stop when I'm at work or out being social, that would be great.  If I could just control it, that's what I would like.

I once had an old friend give me Adderall, and that was wonderful.  And when I drink, it is also wonderful.  Why?  Because my mind can't wander.  

That's what I want; a way to shut it off.

After joining this website I've come to the conclusion that I finally want to stop this addiction that I have. Don't get me wrong I will miss it like crazy and most likely have terrible urges to go back to it. I'm taking this one step at a time because I know something that has manifested itself for over 10 years won't simply just go away. My main character in my world will always be by my side. She's taught me a lot of things. But it is now time to take a hold of my own personal life. I…

I have not been keeping up with the community on this site, which I regret. I was so happy to find people like myself initially – it was such joy to know that you all exist. But, as often happens, life gets in the way. I don’t know how much traffic this site gets or if anyone will actually read my little scribe, but I can’t think of who else might understand what I am going through. And I just need to get my thoughts out there. The thing is, what I recall from my limited presence here is…

When I found out that this website was a thing, I was overjoyed. Me and my best friend both share this condition and it is something we bond over immensely. But seeing a whole community coming together and  sharing their stories is pretty amazing. Maladaptive Daydreaming started for me at a young age of probably seven. My mom was diagnosed with paranoia and was in and out of hospitals that whole year so I lived with my grandparents for the remainder of that time. Their neighbors had a swing…

Desiderata



Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even to the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If…

I've been daydreaming since I can remember, and have created countless stories in my head. Some of them over the course of years, with attendant complexity. 

I have also written stories and made short films. Never have the two met. I don't work out my paper or video stories in daydreams. At most I steal discrete elements from my daydream stories, not the whole thing. 

Is this true for anyone else? 

I was told to try writing about my MD and I am not sure if it will be helpful but I will try all the same, I will warn everyone that I am a terrible speller :)

MD snippet-

I had to keep running, I knew he wasn't far behind. The sewage smelled terrible and the tunnel was dark, all I could hear was my breathing and the pounding of my footsteps on the wet ground. my heart raced, I had to make it stop he would hear my heartbeat. The gun was still in my hand and the…

Day dreaming is a method mind used to run away from all fears and problems. I think it's the strongest addiction which spoils a man's most precious time. But this energy produced from mind can convert into productive purposes. For ex. innovative ideas and  spectacular designs made by  the mankind are the outcome of some crazy minds. In my personal experience I can say it may disrupt the friendly relation to the people around us. That we need to have a control over…

His name was Blackie (or Blackey as my sister spelled it) and he was one of my best friends. I'm not sure how I'm ever going to get over his death or if I'll be able to connect/love another pet as much as I did him.

He had surgery a month ago to remove bladder stones but began deteriorating the last two weeks. After going to the vet three days ago and being told his symptoms were "normal," we decided to take him again Tuesday morning. We were then told that this whole time he had…

This is my first day talking about myself and my condition online and I hope whoever reads this will appreciate the context and be respectful. In short I do daydream often and I talk to myself frequently while pacing back and forth, however if I am not intereacting with someone I will mummble to myself/ talk to myself while i am walking to my car or on my way to class. I know that they are not real, and If i am by myself I tend to indulge in my fantasy. I keep telling myself I should just…

Does anyone roleplay? 

I do, and when I do it feels like I let the characters take over and watch them do their thing, so it's a bit more intense for me.

I've been maladaptive daydreaming since as early as I can remember, at least since fifth grade, probably earlier. I never knew that it had a name until I happened across the term a couple months ago. I was immediately intrigued and researched everything I could on it. There's so much that I've read so far that just coincides exactly with what I've been feeling my whole life. I always assumed that there were other people out there somewhere in the world that struggled with this too, but I…

I feel like I've been talking a lot lately and that's something I don't usually do, but I found something out today.

A few months ago my sister (17 years old) mentioned that she thinks she might have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and I kind of dismissed it. Earlier today I brought it up again because she had one of her mood swings. I researched the disorder a bit and found out that she needs counseling right away or else her chances of a full recovery will drop from…

These so-called regular people, the ones who do not daydream so much. What do they think about all day. I can't imagine. I've only ever had my daydreams. They have always been there 

It is difficult to imagine processing a life event (big or small) without projecting it to a made up character, weaving it into the rich tapestry of their made-up lives.

It's not all them, I can quieten them if I really need to. Sometimes it's hard and the biggest disruption is when trying to…