checking in again after one whole year

[debbie downer]

hey there, it's been over a year since i made a blog post on here so i figured i should post an update on my MD and how it has progressed. i'm seeing a lot of new faces on this website, so for everyone who is new, welcome!! 

i'm 20 years old and a junior in college (university) and i live in the usa. MD is something that has been a constant in my life since i was 9 years old, and i've had the same set of characters since i was 12 years old. i found out about MD and this website when i was 14 - it's so hard to believe that it's been 6 years. i've been posting on here ever since then, and i think it's fun to go back and read my old blog posts. i feel like they explain more about my life than a lot of other things could. nobody in real life knows about my MD except for my mom (who i told when i was 14 and has probably forgotten since then) and the therapists that i have seen, so this site is very special to me. i might disappear from it for a long time, but i'll always come back. 

two summers ago, i made a post talking about how my daydreaming decreased after i got a boyfriend. then, last summer, i made a few posts talking about how my daydreaming had increased dramatically due to us breaking up. i'm sad to say that i've yet again gone through that cycle... kind of. i didn't actually date the guy this time, but we almost dated, so that's close enough. i was thinking about him so much that my daydreaming decreased by a LOT. we only talked for like 3 months, but it felt like such a long time. then, he ended things with me and my daydreaming increased again. that was almost a month ago, so that's where i'm at now. i'm daydreaming every chance i get.

last summer, i was moving into a new apartment and i also expressed concern on here that my pacing would knock things off the walls or break them (like it did at my parents' house). that thankfully didn't happen. my roommates also never caught me pacing - the closest they came to calling me out was saying "i could hear you walking around last night." honestly though, it was a really unhealthy living situation (for non-MD related reasons). i moved out of there just a few weeks ago and got a different place with new roommates, which i'm really happy about. my new place has two floors - my roommates sleep upstairs, and i have the whole downstairs to myself, so they'll probably never catch me pacing.

i think the reason why i haven't gone on this site in so long is because i feel more.....at peace? with having a daydreaming disorder. when i first joined this website, i felt like a freak, but now that i've known about MD for 6 years, i've sort of just accepted it as a part of my life. i've known for 6 years now that i'm not alone and that i can come on here when i need to, but my daydreaming isn't really a burden to me. it can be hard to deal with at times, but i've never really seen it as a bad thing. for a lot of us, it takes over our lives, but i think i deal with my MD in the healthiest way that i can. it's still there, but i'm used to living with it and i can still get things done. it's just a weird thing that's a part of my life.

so yeah lol that's about it. and for anyone who's reading this, please feel free to message me if you want to talk about MD stuff (especially if you're also college-aged because i always feel so young compared to everyone else on here). i always love hearing about other people's experiences with MD.

[debbie downer]

honestly, college has been so much better than high school for me. i had no friends for most of high school, but in college, i have the most friends i've ever had. it can be hard for me because i'm introverted too and i also don't drink (which is how people usually socialize), but i  managed to meet a few of the right people (on my school's facebook group, surprisingly), they introduced me to their friends, and now i have a ton of friends. you shouldn't worry about it, it's still a few years away and you can deal with it when the times comes. you'll be fine, i assure you

[Hannah]

I'm going to be going to college in a few years and I'm worried about it. I know I'll be leaving most of my current friends behind, which is scary considering I'm awful at making friends. I worry that I'll be alone and my social life will only live through my daydreams (it pretty much already does, but whatever). I hope that I can make some fellow introverted friends.