I am the kind of person that takes personality tests. All the time. Mostly just for fun. Or sometimes to prove something to someone. I am very self aware, largely in part to the fact that I have hundreds of different characters in my head and because my fantasy and reality tend to blur, I've learned to be hyper aware of who I am. I am very confident in knowing myself.

Anyway.

I thought it would be fun to experiment with some of these personality tests. I started…

My summer, especially around the middle of July - the middle of August is going to be very busy. I'm kinda not looking forward to it. I think part of my problem is that my work entails me to make sure everybody around me is having fun. And I think as a result, I'm not going to be able to really enjoy my summer.

At least 2 days a week I will be babysitting from 8:00am - 6:30pm. If anybody here has ever babysat before, you should know how rough that time frame is. And I like the kids I…

Part 4 is here!

BOYS

This is something a little more recent. I think one of my good friends might like me. Now I need to…

Part 3 begins...

FRIENDS…

Part 2 starts now:

BROKEN…

So yea, I think the last time I was here blogging was about 8 months ago.... It sounds like a long time but really it hasn't felt very long. Recently my days have felt like seconds and my weeks like minutes. Months have passed by and I feel like it was only just yesterday that I was here, pouring my mind out on the internet for other people to read..... So for all of those who still remember me, HI! It's been a…

It's been about a month since I last blogged here. My life is very hectic right now. I've been EXTREMELY busy this summer and I've kinda been going out of my mind. Everything is so stressful and I have all this responsibility and I have to be the person who does everything (it's not like anyone else could do it right anyway). I don't think I'm even making sense right now...... UGH.

This is probably the first time in this past month where I've had any real alone time, and…

Yesterday, my best friend read me a tweet:

"The best person in your life is the one who comes first in your mind after reading this sentence."

Instead of thinking of my best friend..... I thought of a character from one of my DDs. I felt really awkward. I should have thought of my friends and family. Or God, even though he's technically not a "person." I shouldn't have thought of a…

Maybe not everyone's cup of tea but the lyrics are definitely for MDers.

(the song is "Undo Your Mind" by
Eivør)

 
…

I was just wondering. All my characters in my daydreams have a significant other. I may have family and friends who love me, but I don't have that one person. What really gets me is this: I'm like 100% okay with being single. I actually prefer to be single. I guess the romance I create in my head is enough for me. 

Is this wrong? I don't want to have a boyfriend because in my head I'm already involved with so many other people..... And now, I'm starting to wonder if the reason…

"I guess it's just because I'm a very introverted person. I may act all happy and friendly when I meet someone or when I'm out with people but that's all it is --an act. The truth is, I like to be alone. I like to sit in silence and just think, about nothing or sometimes important things. But I like to just get lost in my thoughts. Sometimes I throw on an over sized shirt and take my pants off and just dance around…

How can you not see

How can you not understand

Stop being selfish 

When I try so hard

To always be there for you

Stop being selfish

You do as you please

You view life through a mirror

Stop being selfish

Sometimes I…

In my anger

I broke my "happy" face

Now

so deep in sadness

I’m not sure if I can…

Couldn't sleep one night and wrote a couple of Haiku poems. Enjoy my restless mind:

Midnight Snack

Silent is the path

A multitude of options

What to eat tonight?

Sleepless

The tick and the tock

The mockery of thoughts

When sleeping I ought

Real…

And there are some days when I feel happy and there are other days when I just don't feel anything at all. I'm so tired of my emotional roller coaster. I’m tired of hating my life and everything around me. Some times I just sit down and think about what people would be like if I ever just went missing. I have this terrible self loathing that makes me curl up and hide from…

Remember back in the 7th grade

When we were both nobodies.

We didn't care for relationships or popularity.

We had homeroom together and our teacher hated us.

Remember the fun?

Do you remember 8th grade? When you became HOTT!! So many girls wanted you... but you picked me.

Remember our 9 months? Only 6 of them counted... but we had…

Go all the way back

To 97-98

Think of all the fun

We had as classmates

I couldn't stand you though

Just the look of your face

It said "I'm better than you"

All over the place

And then what happened was

We became best friends

And we would be inseparable

Till the very…

The darkness. That's all that I was aware of. Was darkness. My eyes were open, I know they were, but I didn't see anything. I even did that thing where you wave your hands in front of your face, hold them there for a second to try to see finger silhouettes. But nothing. I sat there, I don't know how long it had been. I decided to search. Groping around on the floor trying to figure out where I was. I came across a wall. It had a cloth over it. I pulled downward on it, but it didn't come off.…

So yea..... I've been reading through a lot of poetry from you, my fellow MDers. I haven't written anything in a long time but I went back and had a look at the stuff I used to write and thought I'd share the ones I like. So I guess I'll start posting some of my old poetry and miscellaneous writings with you all. ENJOY!

You Lie So Much, You Believe Yourself…

Ever hear that phrase? "It's just my OCD." Honestly, I've always hated that phrase. People say it all the time, but don't really understand that the little quirk they are describing as "OCD" is actually known as an Idiosyncrasy. 

The difference…