Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
It's been about a month since I last blogged here. My life is very hectic right now. I've been EXTREMELY busy this summer and I've kinda been going out of my mind. Everything is so stressful and I have all this responsibility and I have to be the person who does everything (it's not like anyone else could do it right anyway). I don't think I'm even making sense right now...... UGH.
This is probably the first time in this past month where I've had any real alone time, and technically I'm supposed to be working. But I'm so tired, I just want to relax and DD.
I'm trying to run a youth group. I'm trying to run a children's game night. I'm trying to coordinate Vacation Bible School. I'm trying to plan a block party. I'm trying to find a paying job. I'm trying to keep my family together. I'm trying to make time for my friends. All of these things.
I'm so stressed. And I honestly think it's because of my lack of daydreaming. When I get the few rare moments of time to myself, I try to go off into a daydream. But, and I'm thinking it's because of my stress, lately I haven't really been able to daydream. My DD's are always very rushed now. They don't have a lot of depth and they don't really consume me like they used to. And I think it's making my stress worse.
I can't seem to come up with anything new either. I try to DDing and it's all stuff I've created before but suddenly I'm reminded that I need to make a few phone calls or cut out posters or color in gigantic murals or paint a chair and I get sucked back to reality and I frantically go back to trying to figure everything out on my own. If only I could share some of these responsibilities..... but no one really wants to help me, they may say they do, but they don't. It's actually kinda the story of my life. Everybody's always assumed I could do things on my own and I get stuck in the position of having to be an adult while everybody else gets to be a kid.... sigh.
I just really wanna Daydream again. Like I used to.