I am starting to see and hear some of my characters/my imaginary friends in my world.it is creeping me out.

Had really bad day on Monday.

Methinks it was a DID episode, but I think I'll have to argue the case with my therapist. She's so frustratingly meticulous that she won't commit to an answer without a lengthy analyzing of the subject.

O.K.....so I identified one of my MD triggers as being "white noise". So, I tried removing the fan I sleep with from the room. Probably not a great idea this early in the game, as I was really tired after a couple of weeks.

However; I was…

I want to share my graduation exam story to reveal a brilliant aspect of the brain. 

We got a month to prepare for the exam. Obviously everyone learned all year, but this extra month was considered to be the time when everyone " gets ready for the exam ". However, I was not one of those people. No one would believe how I spent this month and I know it. It is possible that even I wouldn't believe it if someone else would tell me this. 

While everyone else was…

Another whiny, non coherent rant from me I have pretty much said the same thing in all of them, but I find writing it out cathartic. 

It make me sick how happy my daydreams make me, I feel sick to the stomach after I find myself laughing out loud at things I'm thinking about,  or imitating my character's gestures. I want to feel like that in reality, I want to live the life that I imagine, but I can't. It makes me miserable thinking about the fact that I am not that person. I'm sick…

Life is a structured chaos.

We live in a world which tends to believe that everything can be controlled. When you dig deep into the details though, you realize that there is hardly anything that you can control.

Yes, you can control the channels you want to watch at the TV or your room temperature, but when it comes to life, control starts to fade out.

The food and the water is poisoned, the sun causes cancer, the air is polluted, the car drivers are…

Hey it's been a while since I last updated so here's the jip,

For the past week my DD has been a rollercoaster, some days I wont daydream the whole day and then there are days that that's all I do.  I've been traveling and spending more time outside of my room and that may be the deal with stopping, but when I get the time, I'll go for hours.  It hasn't stopped me eating but it has interrupted my sleeping habits.  I've been going to bed later and later and then laying under the covers…

hi,friends today i am going to share something which i feel that is very personal.We all know that it's very hard to stop MDD but i am trying from last 2 or three years i do lot of abnormal activities like talking myself and making faces and even used my hands  while acting according to my story.It seems ridiculous but i know it's very hard to stop i feel that i can't face the world .This thought is getting stronger and stronger with time. Everytime i inside feel that life is so boring and…

I was confronted by a family member of mine accusing me of a serious matter and yet what they accused me of wasn't true so I obviously stood up for myself. They didn't believe AT ALL! I was in shock, because this person was my got to person; the kind of person you can trust ans has always been their for me. So I don't understand how they cannot believe or how they could ever believe what they are accusing me of.  I've began to wonder if they ever even knew me like I thought they…

Well, as some of you know, I'm really overweight and trying to work on that before it starts causing me health problems, so I saw a dietitian.  I expected her to tell me to stop eating all that I'm eating and to only eat fruit and vegetables.  Well, I was wrong.  I told her I like almost nothing, and what little food I do like, I don't really love.  I said I wished I didn't have to eat at all.  What little food I like is unhealthy and making me fatter and fatter.  Well, surprisingly, she…

My “Episodes” of MD: from Novelist Carol Plum-Ucci

I watched Cordelia’s YouTube last night.  Cordelia, you are a sweet heart and your voice has much aloha to it—peaceful and soothing.  I’m new here, so this is my long-winded bleh bleh bleh first entry.

I have seven novels released with Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.  My last write was grueling.  When I finished it finally, it’s like my mind snapped like a rubber band.  There appeared this array of…

I am so frustrated right now. I am having a hard time daydreaming because I have run out of fantasy scenarios. All my characters are boring. All the stories and ideas and scenarios I have used over and over and over again. I'm bored. But this is so upsetting to me. I love daydreaming. I love my fantasy worlds. I don't know what to do. I have been watching t.v. and listening to music trying to get inspired but nothing is working. I get a glimpse of…

Tuesday. Gloomy day. Headache. Bad sleep. Bad start.

As the day goes by, I keep wondering about my future college. Philosophy. Does it sound good ? Probably not, if you're one of the 99% of people, just like my mom. " No future, no money, no hope. " – That's what she said.

Maybe she's right. The times of philosophy are far away now. Philosophy is practically dead. Dead and burried.

But how can you forget the love of your life, even if no one else remembers it ? God knows I…

Hello Everyone I recently discovered MD about two weeks ago and have been researching ways to stop DDing all the time. As of last week I was doing so well. I was forcing myself to interact with people, taking herbal supplements, and allowing myself only one hour of DDing time a day. Last Friday I went to sleep and had one of the most violent nightmares that I can remember. The nightmare embodied everything that I am afraid of in this current time of my life coming true. Since then I have…

hello! everyone i am here today to tell you i have gotten out of my daydreams. when i first start i had my ideal self of who i wanted to be .now i am happy just being me. i wanted  a family ,friends ,and someone to love me. at the end i got just that . they where waiting for me to come home. they want me to : find out that home is where ever family and friends and love was at . and you stand and fight for home no matter how tried ,alone and stupid you look you never give up on family,…

I apologize in advance for jumping around and making little sense.

A few weeks ago, I met someone online and was talking to them quite a bit for a few days. It was definitely in "real me" fashion, and as a result, the dding stopped in its usual fashion. I guess I was having DDs about this person. They were kind of brief, I guess. I have a hard time just "doing things" without envisioning it as something seen through the eyes as someone spying on me, and its a bit more fabricated than…

I receive a small sum (less than $1000 a month) from Social Security. Not for MD, they still haven't got the memo on what it is, but I receive social security for being mentally "ill". I want to encourage anyone who thought of applying, but changed their mind. I was awarded benefits long before I even knew MD by name. The Social Security Administration based their decision on how likely I was able to hold a job.  When being evaluated I just told them the truth. I'm a million different people…

I'm starting to think that it isn't my MDing that makes life difficult. It's life being difficult that makes me MD.

Maybe I'm just seeing things the wrong way. Who could blame me? Right now I would give anything, anything at all to be able to just forget that my life is so hard right now. I wish I could, but I need privacy for MDing, and that is something I don't have right now. I'm so depressed right now that MDing probably wouldn't be as satisfying as it usually is anyway. …

Well hello! :D

My name is Petra and I live in a beatiful country Croatia. To help prevent any confusion Canon is'nt my real last name. Its just the word I saw on my printer and, in lack of any other ideas, wrote down as my last name.  I know I'm stupid hahaha. Well, as I mentioned earlier I'm from Croatia and my native language is croatian , so I must warn you on many gramatical errors you will see and you have probably seen.  Don't be harsh on me :) I'm only 15 years old and I'm…

youtube link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sv0gjsH4Tc8

Blog post : http://maladaptivedaydreaming.wordpress.com/2013/07/07/maladaptive-daydreaming-prison-or-escape/

What is it to you? Many express it as an escape from reality,…