Everything I do becomes a mess, nothing I can do can fix them. Those who make me upset scarcely see it upon my face but those who get in my way are hurt with tongue. I can't love anyone because of my sadness and yet it is that sadness which is caused by being alone. My dreams are good but they only do so much. I want to just be normal but it feels impossible. It seems there is nothing I can do. I try but I fail. I become angry so easily and I become quite sad very easily and when the two mix I… Continue

I wish I could say my mood is on a high, but in fact it's the daydreams. They are back to a high: constant, pulling at me emotionally, and extremely vivid. So much so that at times, the daydreams seem more real than reality. 

Unable to spend as much time at it as I would like/need, I find myself horribly depressed and constantly on the verge of tears. I am stuck in a horrible cycle: unhappy and seeking the daydreams more than ever, but unable to get the time in so feeling unhappy. I…

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So, there is a name for this “thing” that I do “Maladaptive Daydreaming” I am wondering if it is a new “diagnoses” as I remember researching it in the past and not being able to find anything. I have even spoke to Drs and Physiatrists about it before and they have not really know what to say or do about it and defiantly not put a name to it or said it is something that lots of people seem to do. How do I feel about it having a semi- official title? Positive and negative I suppose, Positive…

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Mothy didn't really seem to care about my dding but he had many problems about it when he asked what I would dd about. When I told him he became hugely jealous thinking that all the males in my Dds where replacing him or something. There was a time when we got very close to one another and he asked me what I was dreaming about when I was pacing. Being fully honest, I told him about the odd and absurd world where everything was a huge work of art that was absolutely everywhere and I described to… Continue

Mothy was a boyfriend I was with for about,... 7 to 9 months... I'm not exact on the numbers yet... He was the first person I ever told about my dermataliamania and my maladaptive day dreaming. The last person I expected to react positively to me, he just gave me a great big kiss and said, "I don't care if people put you in a crazy house, I'm just gonna end up in there with you!" (Yeah much of the things he would say sounds like this with lot more slur and pace!) so he accepted me as I was but… Continue

Tonight, I've decided I'm going to tell you all a little about my personal life. I used to have a friend who I'll refer to as Mary. Mary was a very interesting person. She was tall, had naturally beige hair, light skin, strong shoulders, and a fair skill in computers. She also wore glasses, was clumsy (due to her growing proportions) and was often running off with guys who liked me but settled for her due to the simple reason that she'd put the moves on and I give no care. There were many many… Continue

A long while back there was a guy that (for once) I actually cared about. It was nice to have him to talk to but for a while I couldn't speak to him... I was very sad but now I can. He's good to talk to and nice to chat with but now I'm worried, even with this happiness in me I can't help with the stress lately and the derma-hippo-whatia again Lol... Daydreaming helps but it isn't enough, today I daydreamed for almost 5 hours! My head is pounding! I decided to take a shower when by the end I… Continue

I've started college recently and I'm aware socialising is a significant part of the process.

I think my MD has caused me to become so internalised in that I don't seek much to appreciate about social interaction in real life, especially as they prefer to converse about the usual  matters on a daily basis.

I don't ever blame them, I simply choose not to engage in such matters because I feel as though I don't have anything to add to the conversation where my own…

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Hey everyone, it's been a while hasn't it.  Haha.... I think the last time I updated anything was about four months ago.

Well, I've gotten back into the routine of high school, mountains of homework, stressed about test, giving presentations and playing in the band.  Sadly my circle of friends has dwindled a bit but one missing piece was filled by a special someone.  I didn't think after sophomore year I would ever get back into the dating game but I guess that's how life sneaks up on…

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Transgress |transˈgres; tranz-|

verb [ trans. ]

infringe or go beyond the bounds of (a moral principle or other established standard of behavior) : ex. "she had transgressed an unwritten social law | [ intrans. ] "they must control the impulses that lead them to transgress."

Maybe we're supposed to be talking to actual people and not creating people to act like we're talking to (or thru). If you've read any of my other post you know that I grew up with siblings who…

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I noticed there are similarities in both the addictions of daydreaming and playing video games. Just as a kid will whine or even have a tantrum over you walking in front of the tv or, God forbid, BREAK his beloved Xbox, so do I get very annoyed/angry at whoever knocks on my front door and interrupts my daydreaming or building of daydreams. I'm forced to hit pause and I must remember where I left off when I return. 

What's troubling is how sometimes gamers die from playing too much.…

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Itch itch itch scratch scratch scratch. I am disgusting. My scalp is raw and red. I still don't stop. I don't know why. I am confined to a bed, chair, or car seat and cannot pace or dream. I need a physical outlet. My head is sore. Dermataliamania is a disorder linked to OCD. It is a horrid disorder in which one has the absolute need to scratch at the skin, pluck out cranial hair and peel off skin fragments. It sounds disgusting and looks worse but I do it anyway. I feel like worms are on me… Continue

What does it mean to be friends? Sometimes I don't know. I walk with, talk with and eat alongside a 'friend' of mine all the time but I don't call to him by 'friend'. My only best friend betrayed me and tossed me to dust and my core was unmoved yet I felt emotion and what one might call agitation. These emotions are so confusing in me but sure in my watching of others. My mind is off; I feel no emotion by heart and must learn to distinguish them in me. My eyes are unfit; they see the wrong… Continue