just another sunrise without sleep

golden rays hit my cold face

doesn't make a difference

i am unhappy

momentary happiness 

comes back every now and then

makes me laugh and smile

but sadness lives inside me

wasn't this all i wanted

was it something more?

should i wait?

or should i go…

It's a double edge sword. MD has stopped me pushing forward in life and doing things as it can take away days but without I truly do believe I would not be here today.

It shields me or hides my depression from me.

I have felt suicidal in the past and somehow it has pulled me through I imagine happiness and friendships and love but then when reality bites I realise MD maybe causing my depression getting me to stay in and not socialise unless necessary like work.

I want to…

It's been about five days since I've began slowly stripping away maladaptive daydreaming. It's been going pleasantly well so far by my surprise.  In the beginning I told myself I'm just going to quit cold turkey and if I have some slip-ups it's OK and Iv'e been doing just that. I haven't had as nearly many urges to have "my time" and if I do I will only have it for 10 minutes and then be done with it and I am satisfied with that. After I've had my ten minutes I'm good for the day. I would…

like most of you i was blatantly surprised and  happy for the fact that there are more people like me..for now am on the learning phase of my condition.....one thing that bothered me is that none of you mentioned about what language u use in your day dream even though English is not my mother tongue i tend to create a most of the scenario with it.

There is nothing else for it.  I struggle so hard to turn it off when I need to. If I could flip a switch and just stop when I'm at work or out being social, that would be great.  If I could just control it, that's what I would like.

I once had an old friend give me Adderall, and that was wonderful.  And when I drink, it is also wonderful.  Why?  Because my mind can't wander.  

That's what I want; a way to shut it off.

After joining this website I've come to the conclusion that I finally want to stop this addiction that I have. Don't get me wrong I will miss it like crazy and most likely have terrible urges to go back to it. I'm taking this one step at a time because I know something that has manifested itself for over 10 years won't simply just go away. My main character in my world will always be by my side. She's taught me a lot of things. But it is now time to take a hold of my own personal life. I…

I have not been keeping up with the community on this site, which I regret. I was so happy to find people like myself initially – it was such joy to know that you all exist. But, as often happens, life gets in the way. I don’t know how much traffic this site gets or if anyone will actually read my little scribe, but I can’t think of who else might understand what I am going through. And I just need to get my thoughts out there. The thing is, what I recall from my limited presence here is…

When I found out that this website was a thing, I was overjoyed. Me and my best friend both share this condition and it is something we bond over immensely. But seeing a whole community coming together and  sharing their stories is pretty amazing. Maladaptive Daydreaming started for me at a young age of probably seven. My mom was diagnosed with paranoia and was in and out of hospitals that whole year so I lived with my grandparents for the remainder of that time. Their neighbors had a swing…

Desiderata



Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even to the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If…

I've been daydreaming since I can remember, and have created countless stories in my head. Some of them over the course of years, with attendant complexity. 

I have also written stories and made short films. Never have the two met. I don't work out my paper or video stories in daydreams. At most I steal discrete elements from my daydream stories, not the whole thing. 

Is this true for anyone else?