Today I saw on TV a spokesman of a German ministry, who has the same first and last name as my main daydream-character. These are not unusual names, but I never saw a person with these two names. It felt so weird. It felt like a part of my dreamworld came to real life.

I promised my self I'd write in my blog. I have adjusted to my new meds and the cloud (MD) is once again washing over my brain and I'm having trouble just writing in my iPod journal.

It seems every time I get put on a new psychotropic drug I snap out of Electric Larry Land....but only for a 2 to 3 weeks. Then it comes back. Slowly at first...starting with the ruminations, then moving to  night time DD's, then to work DD's and then before I know it I'm chugging a pot and a half of…

I'm not sure how many of you also suffer from compulsive rapid cycle MD episodes, when over a period of days or over a course of a week your MD's are more frequent and obsessively intense. When I am caught up in one of those cycles I have great difficulty trying to break out of the loop.

I know that music is a prominent trigger for MD, but I recently found a track called "weightless" by Marconi Union, its 8 minutes long…

I'm increasingly coming to the conclusion that ultimately the best way to treat MD is socialize A LOT!  If i can somehow build a genuine desire to socialize and not be an introvert, i could probably cure myself.  

I'm not alone! I may still be more than slightly loopy, but I'm not alone!

The "monkey" has been on my back since I was 10. I was free of it for 6 months, up until March this year, then wham! He's back....

After just blowing a whole weekend due to an extended stay in the land of LaLa, I too, consulted Dr. Google. And found this site - yippee!

Ever notice at work, the ten minutes before you get sprung from the drudgery takes an eternity, yet while…

So This was back in February of this year, but I have been procrastinating to share this. If you haven't read Part 1 or 2, then let me just summarize. Basically, I started going to therapy and the Psychiatrist for help. The therapist told me I needed medicine, and the Psychiatrist told me I needed therapy. Both of them let me go and I have been without help since. I decided to try the therapist option one last time before quitting and this is what happened. 



After having been kicked…

I've never discussed this with anybody, so I'm just going to let it out here: I'm young (18) and started daydreaming at 11 years old. I was a very shy child, and wasn't very socially apt. My home life wasn't great, my mom was always at work and my dad worked nights; my older brother was always off with his friends. I didn't have a very concrete sense of identity, so I turned to music to ease the loneliness. I became obsessed with this band, and its lead singer. He was always saying things…

Well she wasn't able to stay long, yesterday something came up and she had to leave.  We were really busy the first two days so I never got bored enough to test out my experiment.  Oh well.  I've been sleeping like crazy for two days which is weird for me and have lost 33 hours due to naps and crap like that.  Tonight me and my father are going to watch a family friend race in a speed race, so we'll see how that goes. 

Tomorrow's going to be a busy day to for my mother "memorial" but…

Okay so ... 

I constantly day dream, it's all about me and my life and people who are in it already.

Most of the time it makes me sad and cry for hours, always seems to be things that I think could happen, so I day dream about it and get worked up about it.

If it's ever good things, it's about things I'd like to do or be like but know I never could be and I always feel like an idiot after spending up to hours day dreaming about it.

Is anyone else like…

I've been maladaptive daydreaming for 7 years or so now, and I just recently discovered the term for it, and that there are others like me out there. I've never discussed my daydreams, alter persona, or obsession with certain celebrities before, so it's scary and somewhat embarrassing for me to be open about this. I've always wanted to tell somebody, anybody about my daydreams but i've always been afraid of being judged or told that I need professional help, because I know…

For the past week or so I've been busy at home marching band camp and soon I'll be at the away camp.  So far everything is good and I'm making a ton of friends. Surprisingly, I've manged to get pass my social anxiety and I'm very open with everyone. Now on to what I want to talk about. 

Since the second day of home camp, I started dding less. Lately I've been losing my interest in dding, but I kept doing it out of habit. When I am at band camp I'm too busy focusing on everything, but…

I think my biggest fear is that I'm going to spend my entire life daydreaming. This scares me beyond belief. I don't want to be a 60 year old looking back at my life and realizing that I have done nothing instead of daydream in all my spare time. I want to make something out of my life and I want to be productive. I don't want to day dream all day long but it's just so hard to stop.

I am starting to see and hear some of my characters/my imaginary friends in my world.it is creeping me out.

Had really bad day on Monday.

Methinks it was a DID episode, but I think I'll have to argue the case with my therapist. She's so frustratingly meticulous that she won't commit to an answer without a lengthy analyzing of the subject.

O.K.....so I identified one of my MD triggers as being "white noise". So, I tried removing the fan I sleep with from the room. Probably not a great idea this early in the game, as I was really tired after a couple of weeks.

However; I was…

I want to share my graduation exam story to reveal a brilliant aspect of the brain. 

We got a month to prepare for the exam. Obviously everyone learned all year, but this extra month was considered to be the time when everyone " gets ready for the exam ". However, I was not one of those people. No one would believe how I spent this month and I know it. It is possible that even I wouldn't believe it if someone else would tell me this. 

While everyone else was…

Another whiny, non coherent rant from me I have pretty much said the same thing in all of them, but I find writing it out cathartic. 

It make me sick how happy my daydreams make me, I feel sick to the stomach after I find myself laughing out loud at things I'm thinking about,  or imitating my character's gestures. I want to feel like that in reality, I want to live the life that I imagine, but I can't. It makes me miserable thinking about the fact that I am not that person. I'm sick…

Life is a structured chaos.

We live in a world which tends to believe that everything can be controlled. When you dig deep into the details though, you realize that there is hardly anything that you can control.

Yes, you can control the channels you want to watch at the TV or your room temperature, but when it comes to life, control starts to fade out.

The food and the water is poisoned, the sun causes cancer, the air is polluted, the car drivers are…

Hey it's been a while since I last updated so here's the jip,

For the past week my DD has been a rollercoaster, some days I wont daydream the whole day and then there are days that that's all I do.  I've been traveling and spending more time outside of my room and that may be the deal with stopping, but when I get the time, I'll go for hours.  It hasn't stopped me eating but it has interrupted my sleeping habits.  I've been going to bed later and later and then laying under the covers…