Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

All Blog Posts (2,643)

just a try



just another sunrise without sleep

golden rays hit my cold face

doesn't make a difference

i am unhappy

momentary happiness 

comes back every now and then

makes me laugh and smile

but sadness lives inside me

wasn't…

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Added by Kal on August 30, 2017 at 5:44am — 1 Comment

Normalizing more

I have decided to move with my future. MDD has really put an effect on my life. Now I am waking up and staying awake. My MDD is now diminishing and I'm glad it is. I am able to listen better and talk into conversations. Also, I am able to follow movie dialogues better than before. Most importantly, I am following instructions better than ever. Hopefully I will see better things as the years pass. Thanks for talking with you guys.

Added by Jessica Ballantyne on August 28, 2017 at 11:04am — 1 Comment

Reading the Extrovert World

Sometimes, I feel like people can get thrown off my external appearance 'too fast' and 'too much,' when I can't help it! It leaves me feeling so very frustrated, and makes me wonder what I have just done. I have Autism, so it's always been hard to read people's minds and emotions. To me, everything is just a washed out glance at first. So this allows people to jump on conclusions and make up judgements that are way 'too quick' for me. Of course, these people don't know me from Adam's Apple…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on August 25, 2017 at 9:52am — No Comments

Nothing I can do about it...prefer being myself

I can see because I have Autism, my life looks far from perfect. Though, many neurotypicals are skilled to prevent this as much as possible. Autistic just aren't capable of being that conscientious to prevent social flaws in future. Neurotypical people do expect too much from us! They even see subtle nuances in a person that "they think" must be improved ongoingly. Otherwise they complain, criticize or make remarks. What they can't seem to realize is, "You are who you are." All my…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on August 24, 2017 at 1:11pm — No Comments

Autism Sucks

I have Autism. I always look forward to social situations, because often, I am constantly in a periphery. This is really embarrassing and the last thing I expect. Whenever I go back into the open crowd, people just immediately stare at me with a grin, pause, and shout "Smile!!" People are like this all the time with me. It's probably because I happen to always look all startled and serious...or sombre because I can feel tired. I am not a social butterfly and I am very introvert. So,…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on August 21, 2017 at 7:33am — No Comments

Without MD I would not be alive

It's a double edge sword. MD has stopped me pushing forward in life and doing things as it can take away days but without I truly do believe I would not be here today.

It shields me or hides my depression from me.

I have felt suicidal in the past and somehow it has pulled me through I imagine happiness and friendships and love but then when reality bites I realise MD maybe causing my depression getting me to stay in and not socialise unless necessary like work.

I want to…

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Added by SamJ on August 18, 2017 at 4:29pm — 2 Comments

Growing

I notice when my MDD dwindled and I began to get real, everything all just fell back to "Life itself."  Whereas, when I was into my dreams, sort of out of it, all swirly eyed, I was practically deluded. I had misleading and deceiving beliefs towards things that couldn't possibly be realistic to my true 'barefaced' consciousness. It started really kicking in when my family and peers got significantly unpleasant towards my irresponsible, inconsiderate and irrational actions pertaining…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on August 17, 2017 at 8:32pm — No Comments

Learning to Live Without it

It's been about five days since I've began slowly stripping away maladaptive daydreaming. It's been going pleasantly well so far by my surprise.  In the beginning I told myself I'm just going to quit cold turkey and if I have some slip-ups it's OK and Iv'e been doing just that. I haven't had as nearly many urges to have "my time" and if I do I will only have it for 10 minutes and then be done with it and I am satisfied with that. After I've had my ten minutes I'm good for the day. I would…

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Added by Emily on August 17, 2017 at 8:45am — 4 Comments

Lost Zone

I think that I see what's wrong.....

Because I day dreamed excessively for 20 years, the only life I ever knew exists inside my head....I only knew myself inside my head. In the real world, I have no life....I don't exist in reality....I'm currently not "somebody" at all. Seriously,

I rarely speak a word to 'real life' people. I practically don't have an existing personality. So, I don't exist in reality to present living people. Therefore, I've never had any relationships up to…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on August 15, 2017 at 10:01am — 1 Comment

real life

like most of you i was blatantly surprised and  happy for the fact that there are more people like me..for now am on the learning phase of my condition.....one thing that bothered me is that none of you mentioned about what language u use in your day dream even though English is not my mother tongue i tend to create a most of the scenario with it.

Added by docho on August 15, 2017 at 6:50am — No Comments

dreams don't manifest





I have idea if it was because of AUTISM. I look back at three decades. I smack my head and think, "what an idiot!" It was as if I was 'living in my own world.' Even if I was wide awake and here in this world, I ask myself, "Would I still have seen some differences? Wouldn't I have gotten some opportunities. What are the odds?" Of course, I knew a lot of jerks and bitches in my time. I can't help the fact many people can be jerks....especially to somebody as socially awkward and…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on August 14, 2017 at 8:30am — 1 Comment

MD has ruined my life

There is nothing else for it.  I struggle so hard to turn it off when I need to. If I could flip a switch and just stop when I'm at work or out being social, that would be great.  If I could just control it, that's what I would like.

I once had an old friend give me Adderall, and that was wonderful.  And when I drink, it is also wonderful.  Why?  Because my mind can't wander.  

That's what I want; a way to shut it off.

Added by Damask on August 13, 2017 at 10:06pm — No Comments

It's Time To Stop

After joining this website I've come to the conclusion that I finally want to stop this addiction that I have. Don't get me wrong I will miss it like crazy and most likely have terrible urges to go back to it. I'm taking this one step at a time because I know something that has manifested itself for over 10 years won't simply just go away. My main character in my world will always be by my side. She's taught me a lot of things. But it is now time to take a hold of my own personal life. I…

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Added by Emily on August 12, 2017 at 9:01am — No Comments

Vice Versa if only

I think that I see why now. Why I never got anything I wanted. I never spoke up! I didn't ever socialize. I never got into people's faces. I lived in other worlds. I buried myself away from others.



I mean, if people really want something, they go for it! They talk about it to others. They're socially open and active. Whereas, I was very shy. I am still shy today.



I lost because I went to sleep. Then I was too scared to speak my mind....I didn't do this for a…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on August 10, 2017 at 5:30pm — 4 Comments

Careful What You Wish For

I have not been keeping up with the community on this site, which I regret. I was so happy to find people like myself initially – it was such joy to know that you all exist. But, as often happens, life gets in the way. I don’t know how much traffic this site gets or if anyone will actually read my little scribe, but I can’t think of who else might understand what I am going through. And I just need to get my thoughts out there. The thing is, what I recall from my limited presence here is…

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Added by Kim Russell on August 9, 2017 at 8:28pm — 5 Comments

My Story

When I found out that this website was a thing, I was overjoyed. Me and my best friend both share this condition and it is something we bond over immensely. But seeing a whole community coming together and  sharing their stories is pretty amazing. Maladaptive Daydreaming started for me at a young age of probably seven. My mom was diagnosed with paranoia and was in and out of hospitals that whole year so I lived with my grandparents for the remainder of that time. Their neighbors had a swing…

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Added by Emily on August 8, 2017 at 2:35pm — 2 Comments

Pretending

It seems clear, I live on 'planet Jessica.' I am so unique. In a way, everything I do is questionable to people. Well, I also happen to have autism spectrum disorder. I mean, I do certain things with my hands, face, eye movements and body gestures that may come off as weird to everyone else. When I was so much younger, I thought people wouldn't think anything of this, perhaps be open to it, or at least not react like I am completely nuts. I believed that I would see stuff I wanted…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on August 6, 2017 at 8:02pm — 2 Comments

Desiderata



Desiderata



Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even to the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If…

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Added by Dave Rair on August 4, 2017 at 11:00pm — 3 Comments

Daydreams versus Art

I've been daydreaming since I can remember, and have created countless stories in my head. Some of them over the course of years, with attendant complexity. 

I have also written stories and made short films. Never have the two met. I don't work out my paper or video stories in daydreams. At most I steal discrete elements from my daydream stories, not the whole thing. 

Is this true for anyone else? 

Added by darmody on August 1, 2017 at 1:22am — 1 Comment

Just life

I have always wanted to date people and maintain a relationship. I have never experienced this. I am 31 years old!

I have spent a lifetime of dealing with people who didn't like who I was. What I mean is, I have always had problems getting intimate with people. I was an intensely timid and quiet person. So, either nobody noticed I was there or it they did, they never really gave a shit.



Well, I spent my entire life day dreaming about being people I'm totally not and…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on July 31, 2017 at 11:54am — 1 Comment

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