End with us

[Tan]

A lot of people felt that end with us was not that great a book but to be honest I liked it , it’s an exact depiction of what happens . I have lived like that though my father never really hit my mother they argued a lot and he has had many a times tried to hit me . I say try because some phir I have always been lucky and escaped and the whole making up after it and stuff the worst part is that same I can’t ever forgive me it’s impossible. My Maladaptive daydreaming started because of that probably. I never shared anything to anyone because that what I was instructed and eventually I would make up this fantasy of being very loved because yes abuse is not love you don’t hit the person you love absolutely not . I was always told my mom didn’t leave him because of me . And yeah I stayed for my grandmother tbh she loved me a lot. Earlier my daydreams were just that getting attention acceptance and love . There was a storyline once where my husband would  abuse me and then do something kind and I would forgive him which Is very scary . Now it’s this person I love ends up abusing me and eventually I have to leave me what’s the point if everything has to be done alone what’s the point and why do I deserve this why don’t I get that love , not the anger I see in my fathers eyes but that love of I will be there for you sit by you till you cry comfort you just be there . Probably the daydreaming started like that I felt lonely and I love love to talk but I never had anyone to. So I would go to this place 

[Valeria Franco]

Dear Tan, 

when parents abuse kids, they do profound damage, because children end up confusing love (that they instinctively feel for their family) and abuse, neglect, and harm. All these things become inextricable.
When adult, it's hard to tell all these things apart.
The world can be a better place, somewhere else. Please find your inner strength to go out there to find it.
Don't give up.
A big hug.