"To tell you the truth, I still do this. I was born to visualize ideas and concepts in forms of sound and imagery. I will never flat out get rid of the dreams. Apparently, people who don't have my brain, they think what I'm doing is…"
Wild Minds network
Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
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Jessica Ballantyne
- Female
- Oakville, Ontario
- Canada
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Jessica Ballantyne's Discussions
Coping
Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Nov 3. 2 Replies 1 Like
I used to cope with my loneliness by doing MD—but it strikes me, if I hadn't started MD and learned to socialize like people do, even if it means watching them, I probably would've been a happier…Continue
Lost Hopes
Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Oct 31. 3 Replies 0 Likes
Crazy as it sounds. I slept, worked and dwelled in a bedroom for 31 years since I was 6. Never moved out, was never professionally successful. Crazier, I never experienced having a real relationship…Continue
Transformation
Started Oct 19 0 Replies 1 Like
I'm going through a transformation as of now. I've been feeling wonky, aimless and not myself. I usually face daily habits that don't serve me well. Today I feel like I'm suddenly somebody new. I…Continue
My life needs work...
Started this discussion. Last reply by Jessica Ballantyne Oct 1. 7 Replies 0 Likes
We all think MD is tell us things will get better. If that were the case, things would've got better already. I fell behind in life, as you'd expect, coming from someone who was a dreamer. I really…Continue
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Jessica Ballantyne's Page
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"Do you workout? I slump around in my room for hours, because I'm determined to find a job this holiday season. Then I lay on my bed for 7-8 hours, and wake up feeling the effects. My head feels all mashed in and achey until lunch. I think my…"
"I don't know how daydreams can cause physical headaches, but I used to experience spaciness and head fog when in a state of MD. I suggest you stop daydreaming by clearing your mind and focusing on the present moment. You can do this by…"
"Thanks. I've got it tough, right now. I'm jobless and doing boring tasks to get through it all. It feel so relentless. I hope there's an outcome soon. I'm sure I'll meet someone too."
"I wonder if whatever I'm chasing after in Life is not made to be a "real thing." I was hoping to meet the love of my life. I never ever met this person. I got on with a few people, but we didn't connect, and our encounter was…"
"I was so young and naive to life. I didn't socialize with people and had no idea how I was emotionally impacting people with my behaviour. I didn't gather any facts that could sum up against what I was believing about in my head. I was…"
"I believed GOOD things are going to come out of MD. That it would give me friends, relationships, hope, success, and an amazing life. It didn't—I had a disorder. It interfered with all of my plans. I didn't get anywhere. I actually…"
"Yeah. I got through college and got my degree. Thing is I had issues with creating a business. Like I just wasn't all grown up. So I decided to work for employers, and realized the field I'm in is not my calling. So I have to retrain for…"
"I'm at a late age to launch and thrive in a new career, and become a better adult. I don't feel that I was listening to my dad. He gave me so much precious advice that I didn't care to take seriously at first. As if I took them more…"
"Life just doesn't look like our fantasies. I grew up drawn to many sources that only inspired me to dream of possibilities of how I wanted my own future to look. What I didn't understand is that they were just movies, books, and TV drama.…"
"I realize that I could've had a better, happier, healthier and fulfilling life if I had dropped the god damn daydreaming. People have been asking if I'm Ok, and if I need a nap. I'm on the computer a lot, and when I appear on the…"
"I feel like I wasted my 20's and 30's. I was off on a good start until I started MD, all because of my social anxiety. I wasn't a high achiever in school, and went to an art foundation college. Took a bunch of courses that…"
"I do wish that I had friends, but I don't express myself. I just sit there all shut up, blank faced, looking dumb and unfriendly to them. People think I don't like them and I'm being spiteful on purpose. They also notice that…"
"Lucky you. I don't know many people who haven't clued in. How do you fake being here, when you're not really here? I am very bad at that. Actually, these days I'm surrounded by grown ups, and they can only assume so, even when I…"
"Actually people have mimicked what I look like WHEN I daydream. They demonstrate how my eyes roll up, practically to the ceiling and I make a gawping face. "
"I freeze and stare into space, or rant to myself. Apparently, I make people very angry or upset, even when I wonder the slightest bit. I've tried to drop daydreaming, but still find myself comatose when I'm doing something. "
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Jessica Ballantyne's Blog
Outside my head
Posted on June 4, 2021 at 1:26pm 991 Comments 4 Likes
This is going to sound annoying. Living in a town for 29 years, all I ever heard by others is that I'm so quiet. They literally couldn't get a word out of me. I was too busy daydreaming in my head to realize how I looked on the outside. I actually never knew it made me look stupid. Non-family can be vigorous that way. I always used MD as a way to escape my frustrations, but it did me more harm that good, so I had to quit. It was the best decision I made.
What…
Friends are not from Dreams
Posted on May 18, 2021 at 4:47pm 10 Comments 1 Like
I spent my whole life looking forward to friends and relationships, and this actually could've happened, if I wasn't living on another planet. When I was a kid, I used to ponder around my room and other parts of the house, imagining situations of how I could meet young people in my area. I'd stand in our shady family office, looking at drawings and poetry, wishing that friends would suddenly pop out of nowhere and say hi. All I had to do was talk to my classmates, get their phone…
ContinueIn a Maze
Posted on April 19, 2021 at 4:40pm 4 Comments 0 Likes
When I was doing MD, I thought it was awesome. It lulled me into complacency and I'd spend hours staring away into a fuge, with glowing hopes things will eventually go my way. Unfortunately, it dug me into a deeper hole. Nobody knew my satisfaction as I have, but they didn't understand why my eyes had a distant stare, why I moved funny, didn't talk much and why I almost wasn't ever listening. It clearly proved to them that I was in another world. To myself, I believed I can do…
ContinuePutting myself in one's shoes
Posted on April 12, 2021 at 7:09pm 2 Comments 1 Like
I tend to be inspired by people from movies and TV series, and often wish I had their lives and personas. I know for sure that I'm not those characters. I don't have their skill sets, minds, looks and their coolness. I work remotely at home, and it can be very boring, so sometimes I imagine myself as a doctor or computer programmer in a science fiction action film.
Sometimes when I get out there and do what I like, it's still a challenge, because I'm an extremely quiet…
Comment Wall (3 comments)
- At 11:40pm on March 21, 2021,
Sakshee Dhumal said…
Hey do you mind if I ask what kinda job do you do Rn? I'm still a student and I've always wondered what people like us, who have MD, do when they grow up.
- At 12:55pm on February 22, 2021,
Varya said…
- Hi. You can write to me as well, just in case. You seem like a nice and interesting person. varvaraamarantha@gmail.com
- At 5:22pm on February 15, 2021,
- hi, if you want to talk, this is my email, i can hear you, talk to a person who goes through the same situation helps. raulvasconcelosb@gmail.com
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