The Friends I Imagined, the Life I Missed

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I've always wanted to be a well-liked and admired person, but I didn't do the work—I dreamed instead. I could've made this happen, but I lived in other fictional worlds, befriending fictional people. Meanwhile I wasn't living a real good life with real friends and real relationships. 

Thing is I'm neurodivergent and on the spectrum. This made it very difficult to communicate and interact very effectively with others, casting me out and making me feel lonely. I got very made fun of and looked down at by so many people. I just didn't fit in, so imaginary friends were really all I had. 

Trouble is that I didn't challenge myself and take risks to turn my life around—I stayed in my comfort zone, pacing around the house, living in a world somewhere else. 

I'm awake now, but frustrated, because I have so much work to do, in turning my life around. I'm going back to school and starting season work. I hope to progress and get out of the hell I faced for 15 years. 
It's amazing what MD can do to you. You think MD is helping out, when really, it's doing the opposite and it could ruin you.