Jenna's Blog (42)

It's Been a While

Hi guys, so I haven't been on here in ages so I thought I'd stop by and say hi~. I suppose now would be a good time to explain how I've been doing with life.

Life is amazing and going rather well for me. A while back I had terrible home issues to which are resolved and things are better than ever. I have made tons of new friends and I don't daydream nearly as much as I use to.

For those new and old I hope this community helps you as it has me. Have a great day and thanks for…

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Added by Jenna on May 4, 2014 at 7:49am — No Comments

Falling Back In To MD.

So life was doing great, I've made a ton of friends, marching band is awesome, school isn't that bad, stuff like that. In fact my MD was nonexistent till today...

See I've just learned two of my close friends are self harming and suicidal....so now all I can do is let my mind wander around till I can see or talk to them. 

Please say a little prayer or whatever for them....because I'm scared they will go through with it.

Added by Jenna on September 18, 2013 at 3:36pm — 4 Comments

MD free for a limited time?

For the past week or so I've been busy at home marching band camp and soon I'll be at the away camp.  So far everything is good and I'm making a ton of friends. Surprisingly, I've manged to get pass my social anxiety and I'm very open with everyone. Now on to what I want to talk about. 

Since the second day of home camp, I started dding less. Lately I've been losing my interest in dding, but I kept doing it out of habit. When I am at band camp I'm too busy focusing on everything, but…

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Added by Jenna on July 25, 2013 at 4:37pm — 2 Comments

For a Broken Hearted One

Well I haven't posted a poem here in a long time and it does not have anything to do with MD at all. Yet, I feel I should post this for those who may be able to relate with this poem. It's hard to explain, being in my  best friend's position and have had to dealt with suicidal friends before. Though one did it for attention and one is alive, but I'm afraid we barely talk now.  Lately my best friend is really down, and I'm terrified she's becoming suicidal. I so desperately try to make her…

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Added by Jenna on May 23, 2013 at 9:32am — No Comments

Ready to give it up, but...

I've just lost interest in my characters and the worlds I've created. This has been going on for months even. I really am at the point of giving up the daydreaming. In fact, I feel like I can achieve so much more if I give it up, and I really want to just let go.

The only thing is it's become such a habit I'm not sure how to stop. Does that make sense? For me it once started as a coping mechanism has twisted my mind (I guess you can say) to a new type of thinking pattern. Basically my…

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Added by Jenna on March 10, 2013 at 6:35pm — 4 Comments

The Curse of Being an Addict

This is just an old poem I wrote a while back last year. It's not very good, but feedback would still be nice.

Bubbling, unrealistic, desires,

so inseparable we need pliers.

Hone you're so venomous

it leaves blessedness.

A secret I won't tell

how these actions impel,

because I've become an addict

to the pain you inflict.

I hear your whispering  call

and fight my inner brawl

to your…

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Added by Jenna on March 3, 2013 at 8:28am — 5 Comments

Preview of my novel- Edited Prologue

Prolouge:“ Kindness is the lanuague which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”-Mark Twain

Woosh! The room was rather in a puzzling state and I for all I could do was stare in an awe-struck trance at the glowing and shining of the lights. I had just simply pranced in to find a cascade of ruby, turquoise, and gold circles flying around the room. The way the lights circled around the room was in a random non-particular way that just flopped around everywhere. Never once had I…

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Added by Jenna on February 10, 2013 at 10:45am — 6 Comments

It's Been a While.

So guys, I'm sorry I haven't been on in a while. To tell you guys the truth I'm embarrassed I had a relapse so I was avoiding Wildminds, sorry. >.< The problem isn't the fact I'm interested or connected to my characters anymore. The problem is the habit. I've gotten so use to daydreaming I can't seem to just keep my mind like normal people. I feel like I have to always keep it busy, stimulated and active.

As for my novel, I'm still writing the rough draft, but at least I have…

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Added by Jenna on January 16, 2013 at 3:45am — 2 Comments

Trading A GIft For Curse Update

Now I just thought I would quickly update y'all on how my weeks has been so far. I'm no where near dding as much as I use to, just finished  writing 50,000 words in a month. Plus I'm going back to my old book worm ways which I stopped doing when I developed  my daydream world. I'm so excited, I really am.  Plus I'm going to the library this weekend I'll be busy trying to finish the rough draft still and I'm going to try to stop dding as much. I mean I still do some but it is no where…

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Added by Jenna on November 30, 2012 at 6:48pm — 2 Comments

Trading a cruse for a Gift

Lately daydreaming is just boring and seem to continue on without a real purpose at all. I honestly have no will or want to continue to daydream away my life. I don't know if it is the medicine that affected me the most or what but I just don't want to anymore.

I decided it's time to trade this curse for a gift, I must earn. As many of you know I wish to be a writer when I grow up and it has been helping and keeping me busy from day dreaming. I have come to conclusion that instead of…

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Added by Jenna on November 25, 2012 at 6:11pm — 8 Comments

All Good Things Come to An End

Today I finally got the guts to read one of the last issues in a  big trigger for me. There will be no more of this series which made me feel incredibly bitter sweet. I loved that manga to death and to see it end like that made me realize so much. All good things do come to and end. I have gone already deleted that world but still go back and forth every once in a while and currently can't take my current world. The manga left of on a bitter sweet cliff hanger only making me sadder. It got…

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Added by Jenna on November 9, 2012 at 6:24pm — 4 Comments

Writing the key to stoping Daydreams.

My depression and social anxiety have tremendously improved. I still have my moments but I am doing much better.

Now anyways like the title has says, daydreaming is losing it's effect on me. It may be permanent or temporary but ever since I started nanowrimo as most of you know, I've been so busy and too tired to daydreaming. Yet at the same time it involves creativity,  and thinking so my mind doesn't feel bored and a urge to wander off.  I believe I may have found my key out…

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Added by Jenna on November 3, 2012 at 6:54pm — 5 Comments

Novel

Hello everyone, I hope your day is great. :)

Anyways, like the title says, yes I am writing a novel. I've been brainstorming this novel since June and have now almost reached the end of brainstorming just in time for November which is novel month. Now there is a challenge in November to write a novel (rough draft) in a month. The main reason I want to share this on here is because I had set a goal for me while writing this. Which is I can plan and think out  this novel but…

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Added by Jenna on October 17, 2012 at 6:52pm — 13 Comments

Unwilling to Daydream?!

Hello everyone! Anyways, as you know I've been on a higher dosage for a bit now and have been doing better in most ways.

Well for some reason it has been kind if happening slowly but I'm losing my interest in everything..even daydreaming. It's rather confusing to me because I've been this way before but daydreaming wasn't something that counted. I do daydream some but it is only because of habit. I could care less about daydreaming even. It's like the dds I love and adore so much…

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Added by Jenna on October 11, 2012 at 4:33pm — 5 Comments

Update

So I just got a dose up not too long ago. So far I am improving somewhat in handling social situations and normal everyday things.

However I still feel numb and number each day to the point of no intrest in anything. O.o I'm not sure if this is going to be a sign of becoming suicdal again like I was one time. I don't think it is because at least I'm comfortly numb.

Anyways I just wanted to give a quick update.
Thanks for reading, have a nice day. :)

Added by Jenna on October 7, 2012 at 6:28am — 2 Comments

Quick Update

I just thought I'd give another little update on myself.

Lets see, for some reason my medication is actually worsening my numbness. It seems to make me feel worst mentally yet my mom says I'm acting more like myself lately. Especially the fact I'm actually letting her touch me, because before this medicine I wouldn't even let her poke me. It is very odd.

Another thing is somehow I can't hold a daydream really and when I do it just makes me feel worst so I stop…

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Added by Jenna on September 25, 2012 at 3:20pm — 3 Comments

Therapy

Hey guys! If you have been keeping up with me, you probably know I was posting long blog rants and complain non-stop a while back. I eventually stopped that but still wasn't content.

Anyways well now I just thought I'd tell you guys I'm going to therapy now. My therapist gave me an unofficial diagnosis of social anxiety and depression.  As of right now, I won't be able to see the psychiatrist for about a month. However my therapist didn't want me to suffer for a whole another month so…

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Added by Jenna on September 21, 2012 at 3:42pm — 4 Comments

Sorry

Sorry guys, I know I have been complaining a lot, I'm really truley sorry. Trust me it won't happen anymore, I promise. XD Such a short blog. Anyways positive Jenna now, anyways everyhting happens for a reason.

Added by Jenna on May 15, 2012 at 6:55pm — 3 Comments

He, on the verge of a mental breakdown and Md gone?!

Okay so Ii guess this has been going on for a week or two. I have slowly just lost myself and today it hit. Normally I can just hide my emotions and fake it but today I can't even force a smile, at least a believable looking one. Anyways my emotions are out of control, we went to go see the Avegers movie today and for te first 30 mins of it I kept crying ands freaking out over the brightness of the screen, how loud the sound was, and evey single shot,punch, or sound effect they had in the… Continue

Added by Jenna on May 5, 2012 at 3:00pm — 8 Comments

Smack from real life back to dd land.

Basically like the title says, I am back to my dd world, not that I left it or anything but soon it will be out of control I know it. Like the title says, I took a preety hard smack from real life tonight. Yes this is another ranting/venting blog. I know you guys are tired about reading blog loel this but I am a teen, drama is all around me.

Anyways the smack was about my crush. You know the one I mentioned in a blog not too long ago. Well since yesterday I have been trying to guess his… Continue

Added by Jenna on April 27, 2012 at 10:22pm — 3 Comments

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