He, on the verge of a mental breakdown and Md gone?!

Okay so Ii guess this has been going on for a week or two. I have slowly just lost myself and today it hit. Normally I can just hide my emotions and fake it but today I can't even force a smile, at least a believable looking one. Anyways my emotions are out of control, we went to go see the Avegers movie today and for te first 30 mins of it I kept crying ands freaking out over the brightness of the screen, how loud the sound was, and evey single shot,punch, or sound effect they had in the movie. Before that earlier today I was heart broken so that does not help. As you can tell from my other blog. I really like/ love this boy who is my friend very much but he likes someone else. Well two days ago Igor his number and yesterday we were talking. He was upset about his crush not liking him so with my cheery, deep, empathy side I told him there are other and stuff like that. Well it had an impact on him because he said I inspired him and he had already found the one. I serectly wished and kind of though it was me (I was so in love/really liking him, I guess my mind was twisted plus he did :)'s and kept calling me by my nickname he gave me "Jenny.") but ater finding out it is some girl back in Virgina where e came from I felt like crying my head off. I just can't seem to get ove him yet and it just added to my horrible mood. :/ It would be a lot easier to handle if Icould just dd. I have just lost my ability to dd really. Maybe MD was my way of coping my pain away and just blocked it out and ignored what I felt. I am 10 times worst then I have ever been without it. As much as I hated MD sometimes I think I do need it sometimes.

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Comment by Jenna on May 11, 2012 at 5:42pm
@Dusty thanks but I really think I am over him pretty much. :) thanks for the effort and advice though.
Comment by Dusty on May 11, 2012 at 4:20pm

I am so sorry to hear that Jenna, I know what it is like, it has happened to me many times. I find one of the most helpful things to remind yourself is, though, that if the guy doesn't like you that way immediately, as much as it hurts, at least you didn't wind up in a relationship and then later have to go through a break up.

The sooner you know the person doesn't like you, the easier it is to move on. And while you probably feel like he is perfect right now, sometime in the near future there'll be way more interesting people and you'll be laughing at the fact you used to have a crush on him...

Comment by Jenna on May 6, 2012 at 4:35am
@Alex I forgot to add a thank you :)
Comment by Jenna on May 6, 2012 at 4:35am
@Elly Hmm I have never though of it like that, interesting. Thanks :)

@Jennifer Oh you don't sound cocky at all and thank you very much :)

@Alex I guess that is true and no XD my memory is horrible.
Comment by Jennifer on May 5, 2012 at 9:01pm

Ms. Jenna, I know this sounds sooo stupid to you, but he doesn't deserve you. And I know exactly what you mean about faking the smiles you flash at people and daydreaming just to get away from your problems in life. I know if would be nice for you to have something that you actually want for once, something you really deserve...But Ms. Jenna, he doesn't deserve you. Whoever you find later in life will make you feel better than this boy ever had...I know the feelings of rejection, and it really sucks. I understand that, I know that it really stings. But if he were the one he wouldn't make you cry because there wouldn't be any rejection.

I am not trying to sound like one of those cocky, nasty girls by saying all of that...I hope you understand what I mean. Best of luck to you, Ms. Jenna! We're always here, we all understand. :)

Xxx Jennifer <3

Comment by Elly Vator on May 5, 2012 at 3:22pm

I'm sure it doesn't seem like that right now but, consider telling yourself that it's just a boy? When I'm in an emotional situation like this I take a step back, and by a step back I mean a really big step back, and look at it from the point of the universe. Does it really matter that this one boy, of billions of boys, is currently unavailable? What is love anyway but a chemical urge to reproduce your genetics, and words are just moving air. We are on a tiny speck of sand, spinning around a mediocre and small star in a sea of billions of stars within a sea of billions of clusters of billions of stars etc etc. All of these things are insignificant. Usually this puts things in perspective for me, and I stop worrying about 'trivial' emotional things. Also, remind yourself that in 10-20 years time, you probably won't even remember the boy's name, are you willing to spend all of that time and emotion on someone as insignificant as him?

Comment by Jenna on May 5, 2012 at 3:03pm
*No order sense, god I am messed up.
Comment by Jenna on May 5, 2012 at 3:03pm
Sorry for the grammar errors and booed er sense but I tend to write these straight to the blog post without going back and reading it. Also the title's first word should be heartbreak, the word just did not completly type out.

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