Smack from real life back to dd land.

[Jenna]

Basically like the title says, I am back to my dd world, not that I left it or anything but soon it will be out of control I know it. Like the title says, I took a preety hard smack from real life tonight. Yes this is another ranting/venting blog. I know you guys are tired about reading blog loel this but I am a teen, drama is all around me.
Anyways the smack was about my crush. You know the one I mentioned in a blog not too long ago. Well since yesterday I have been trying to guess his crush on facebook, I purposly did nt mention my name because I was sure he liked me. I was sure, I mean after all the sings he gave: Smiling when I caught him starting at me for a secouf an would wave at me, teasing me more than anyone, smiling a lot around me, chatting with me for hours and hours, puttin smiley faces when saying hi to me and sad faces when ever I would leave, finding any way to make any form of physical contact whether it he ahaling my hand or poling me and that is just a few, there is so much more. Now based on the list above you would guess he liked me, well so did my best true friend and her boyfriend who I am good friends with. Well it is wrong, he likes one of our other friends. He even made it seem like he was going to say my name, but no he says her name. I was falling for him slowly, just the first time I meet him. You know what the worst part is, I was so sure he was going to say my name, I told him I would tell him my crush after he says his. I could not tell him after that, my heart was just broken. It is simply all I can say. Well this was a huge slap and a blow to my self-esteem so for while I will probable be trapped in dds again.

[Jenna]

@Stacy and Raz thanks guys and yes I understand. I am Better now, I had just written that near the time it had happened so I wa frustrated. Yes, I understand. I need to learn to be okay wiht myself first.

[Stacy]

This used to happen to me all the time. I think when you really like someone sometimes you can read way too much into every little thing they do. Although from what you said I probably would assume that he liked you too. I know it sucks to have someone you thought liked you like one of your friends but like Raz said, don't let your happiness be based on someone else. If you fall into that trap you are going to be miserable for the rest of your life. You will be setting yourself up for depression and who knows what else. I know this from experience. I used to do this. I would put up with anything and do anything to make the other person happy because I felt like if he ever left me my world would end. But this only works if both people feel the same way and if you're actually good for each other. The guy I put up with for a year and who treated me like crap was not worth it. I've come to realize that you have to love yourself first. You have to be okay just being with you and realize that you don't need someone else to make you whole. Yes having someone else around is nice and when you find the right person he will make your life better but you need to be okay with yourself first. I know MD makes this hard. 

[Raz]

It's sad you have to go through this , but relationships can turn out pretty bad and as soon as we learn to not let that have a bad effect on our lives the better it is for our emotional health. I know it was a big shot to your self esteem, but , Jenna, please don't base your self esteem and happiness in the hands of others or, in this case, in the hands of someone you might be in love with or having a relationship with. It's normal to feel down and sad after a break up but you can't let that drag you even further into deeper DDs or feeling bad. It's difficult now, i know, but try to stay as strong as possible so this doesn't end up having a bad outcome in your life. Remember your whole life is not only about romance/relationships, there are still things out there (like poetry for example) that can bring back happiness into your daily life. Stay strong!