Scared to even post this. I'm very confused by what is happening. Tuesday around 9:30 or 10 am the current DD ended. I try to stave off the new one starting as long as I can. It is usually a very stressful time, like quickly changing channels in my mind. Before one will stick and start a story. Well as I tried to keep distracting myself at work, my mind got a little clearer. I was almost holding my breath all day waiting for it to kick in again.

Well here it is Wednesday night and my…

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/daydreaming/2013/01/12/maladaptive-daydreaming

I found this video and can relate to what this girl is saying. Especially the part about it killing her from the inside and taking over her reality. I think she was very brave for putting this out there.

http://youtu.be/ZjUEZZZKOL0

ok, I've only made 2 entries but I don't feel any better. I read a FB post about MD being a gift. That just brought up some many terrible feelings. A place I had gone to for support, telling me it isn't a problem. There's nothing wrong with you, this is great. Why doesn't it feel great? I did the entry in the CBT diary and got all the postive statments to tell myself. Isn't helping. I felt hopeless, I just wanted to........well. I am sitting at my desk at work, crying, I can't stop. My…

A therapist in your pocket! New mobile apps let you try DIY therapy. May sound like a bad idea, I mean of course finding a good therapist you can open up to would be the best. But if you are in a remote area, or financially unable to aford therapy, then this may be a good option.

There are many CBT (cognative based therapy) apps out there, some for a fee and some free. I decided to try one, I downloaded CBT diary for free. I don't know how much help it will be for my MD but maybe at…

is this not the sweetness you crave?

your heart's desire?

solitude from reality?

no. it is bitterness to me

the bitterness grows in the marrow, 

the poison flows through my veins,

my life is fading

drained by the bitterness in me

I weep, I cry out. 

there is no where to run 

no where to hid

for the monster is in me

I am but a shell

all that I was is gone

I disappear as it…

Being able to guide your DD, control the scenes. Is it possible? and to what extent. This is what we are talking about on the radio show today, 3pm eastern time. 

So,  I posted a discussion, couldn't find a way to make a poll, so I just asked the question, to what extent can you control your DDs? I would love to get some responses and see what other people feel about this. 

My Poll;…

Strange, but I have caught myself reacting as she does. Like in a situation with my spouse, a simple embrace. I find myself acting as she would, the way I turn my head, posture, body language in general. But he does not react as my character's romantic lead would. This is really a strange feeling. Disappointing in a way. Like I expect him to just fall into character and play out a scene from my…

The next radio show is about creative writing and MD's affect. I did my first in person interview today with a writer who has MD. It went pretty well. He was really nervous, even worse then me! Listening to the play back I see that I can't say the word "author" without sounding like a redneck hick. So I'm going to cut that part out before the show.

MILROY - A Hawaii man drove head-on into a traffic attenuator around 3 p.m. Tuesday on U.S. 322 in Armagh Township because he was daydreaming, Mifflin County Regional Police Department reports.

scary!! I really need to stop DDing when I'm driving.

Seems like allot of new members so I wanted to let you all know about the MD radio show on every Sat @ 3pm est. The old shows can be listened to from the show page as well. It is a light discussion about maladaptive daydreaming and living with it. We try to go over recent articles and any new research or resources. Would love to have you join us.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/daydreaming

Got together with another MDer and came up with some topic ideas. If you want to make any comments on any of them please do. Here's the show link if you want to see what we've already done, yesterday's show was on technology's effect on MD.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/daydreaming

Topic ideas:

plots/themes

music

guided daydreams/controlling them

social…

Just thinking out loud here. I was thinking (trying to stave off falling into a deep daydream plot) about the different characters in my DDs. What if they all were brought together, like a reunion.  I have different character sets, for different types of DDs. Certain ones only in the future dreams, some from different settings in the past. They would all be dressed very differently based on their time frame. I picture the scene from Bill and Ted's excellent adventure where all the historical…

I just can't fight anymore. I don't want to try. MD has finally took a real toll on me. Laid in bed late DDing, so heavy today. Barely noticed hubby kissing me goodby as he left. I feel like a robot, get in the car start the mindless drive. Lost in the DD world, bright morning sun blinding through the window. Mind skipping around, road, work, DD story line, road, sky, sun, DD character talking to me, work, time- I'm late, etc, etc, then WHOMP! what was that? where am I? What just…

Ashlee's blog post of her character outfits inspired me to do story boards of some of my DD themes. Compilations of images that somehow remind me of my daydream themes. It will be the first creative outlet I have tried for a very long time. 

I feel the need to somehow save the daydreams, honor my "friends" my worlds, lives etc. I don't write creatively so stories are out of the question, besides I don't want to tell it all, I would feel too exposed. But if I put together images that…

Thanks to M Hunter for the topic idea!

show summary;

How had MD effected your intimate relationships? Does your significant other know? Can you share your struggles with this disorder with your partner?

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/daydreaming/2012/10/20/maladaptive-daydreaming

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/daydreaming/2012/10/13/maladaptive-daydreaming

show discription:

Have you been able to focus your daydreams into some creative endeavor? A poem? A Book? A Painting? A Song? Can expressing our DDs creatively help us cope with this disorder? call in number 347-215-9415

Nervous about the show, had to take a…

Got an email from a coworker, "I made brownies, come get one". So I politely go to her desk, put on my fake smile, offer my fake nice person pleasant chatter, offer my thank yous and compliments. Walk back to my desk screaming inside. I wish I could be that nice person, that happy person that everyone likes to be around. But I'm not. I don't even want to be here. To be around anyone. I would much prefer to be…

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/daydreaming/2012/10/06/maladaptive-daydreaming

I am obsessed with figureing out why I DD about certain things. I think I am finally starting to see a pattern, at least with some themes. For example, at times when I am needing to be neutured I DD about a child, one who needs to be cared for. So I in the DD become the care giver, that I really need in real life. I finally made the connection yesterday when I was really angry at my husband for acting childish and not taking responiblity. That leaves me to be the "adult" in the relationship…