Where wild minds come to rest
I was at the local post office. I was mailing my rent and a letter to my pen pal. Well, it was going great but during the whole transaction I was having inner conversation on what to do afterwards. Doing this and that, "oh that's a great idea." Then it came to finish the transaction at the counter I meant to say, "have a good day." Instead I blurted out, "that's a great idea". oh NOOOOOOOO. Did I just let out an inner conversation?!!! OH CRAP. I was so embarrassed. The lady looked surprised…Continue
Maladaptive daydreaming for 20+ years, I used to think it was radical, exciting, comforting and somehow believed it promised a happy and fortunate future. Today, I tell myself, "What in the heck was I thinking?"
My future today is so much different from what I expected at age 18. It is very disappointing, boring, repressive, nerve wracking and a pain in the ass. Let's put it this way, I never saw anything I wanted. I just live and put up with my old parents. In fact, my family now…Continue
I believe that in my case, the only upside to maladaptive daydreaming is the heightened creativity. I use this creativity to write poetry. I spend the last few days working on a particular poem about maladaptive daydreaming. I figure that it does no good rotting away in my drawer so I might as well share it with all of you.
(completed 6/27/17 at 1:25 PM)
I am near,
But I am far,
I am lost,
I am broken,
I've been suffering from MDD since 2011. 99% of the time it's about me romancing with my girlfriend (non-existing) in the dream . It started off slowly where I would daydream only before sleeping and after waking up. But since 2014 it spread like wildfire. If I'm left alone now, I can't finish any task in time as I'll end up daydreaming. It feels very difficult to get my mind out of it. I dream about me proposing to her, giving her tight hugs, flirting…Continue
I can't figure out if this is MDD talking. It happens when I sit to work, especially if the tasks are dull, and I'm by myself.
Maybe I fall into a world—only it doesn't always like me. An occurrence, act or incident appears credibly in my mind.
It constantly involves people who react strongly to my 'outside appearances.' It's a very long story.
To be brief, in the past, whether I worked at a fast food restaurant, a grocery store or in an office—people would come up…
I just need to clear my mind and confess my feelings from today.
I don't have anyone else to tell and I am scared to incase they take my daydreams away from me with making me feel ashamed or embarrassed.
I feel like I am losing it slowly, I feel I am obsessed. I know why I daydream I want my life to be more fulfilling than working long hours and then coming home to sit on my phone and daydream my evenings away.
I dream about falling in love and someone falling in love…Continue
Oh man. Oh bad. I left my bicycle outside my house all night, out on the road. It didn't get stolen or anything.
My parents are starting to worry about me. They think that I'm mentally out of it. Who rides on a bike all day, comes home, but forgets to store it back into the garage? It is not like an expensive car or a motorcycle—but still, it's a bicycle!
It's like with everything else going on in my life. Everything gets fucked and everybody finds out—and I'm clearly the…
Added by Jessica Ballantyne on June 25, 2017 at 9:00am — No Comments
I truly thought I was the only one suffering from this . Heck I did not even know what it was till one day I looked up my symptoms and found MD. WOW that was me to the letter. I have always had a big imagination. I was the only girl in a family of boys. My Dad was abusive and I truly think that my MD was spawned by my childhood. I did it to escape the pain and loneliness. I would lock myself in my bedroom and not come out. I did not have the problem at school. Now as an adult. I am still…Continue
Today I wrote a letter to myself into my MD journal. Keeping this journal has helped me more than I can express in words. So I have decided to share this entry with you, hoping that it can inspire some of you to start a journal and face the demons you are struggling with as well...
'Hello, version of me reading this journal entry,
I just wanted to say thank you for writing in this book! Honestly just doing this every day is helping you so much! You know it, you…Continue
Hello to everyone who spent time to read this post.
Well, these days I found myself not wanting to live anymore. It isn't that my life is really bad, in fact, it's a pretty normal life. I'm preparing for college, my exams are over and the results won't be that bad- maybe good. My family is good and well, I'm not that lonely. I have friends I can share my situation without worrying that they'll turn their backs on me.
But whenever I'm alone and espacially whenever I'm thinking…Continue
It couldn't escape my head until up to now. I do have a sexy friend, she's Indian, who thinks I'm beautiful and perfect as she sees me. Yet, I can't seem to connect with just about anyone else. I have high functioning asperger syndrome, but also I have a very special mind—an imaginative mind. A mind that excessively day dreams on ongoing moments.
This and AS both impairs my ability to drive—but also interact properly with other people, causing many to dislike me as a…
Added by Jessica Ballantyne on June 18, 2017 at 9:09am — No Comments
I wonder if maybe i wasn't successful in life because I 'lived in my own world,' rather than having any perception of the real one that's out there. I always though I can achieve something...when really, I always fell on my face again.
For instance, I never won the fancy of any guy I've met. They either found me weird, 'not cool enough', not very smart or rather 'crazy.' Other times they called me a 'little girl', because I was tiny and baby-faced. Most times, they never 'understood…Continue
I'm been a bit panicky. Well, it happens. I have been dozing off a bit. I call daydreaming out of nowhere, "dozing off". All I have been doing is going in and out the hospital since my mom is in there. When I drive, it is annoying tho.
Either way, I am writing my next book as I can. It has been five months now. I've never taken that long to write a book. It usually takes about three months. I'm thinking of taking an extra month of writing it.
Other than that, I'm okay. I'm…Continue
Added by Alexis S Silver on June 14, 2017 at 7:56pm — No Comments
It is really hard to get people to like me. It's always been that way too! It hurts when so many people get ugly and condescending on you. You're just like, "What did I do, really?" Then you realize, they don't think your NORMAL. They find something very weird and off-center about you. Maybe they get "pissed" when you just stand around appearing all awkward, stupid, 'all shut up,' but also a million miles away. They probably wonder, "Where'd she go? Why are her eyes dazed? Is that…Continue
Has anyone's mind wondered into a funny 'comedic' world, to make you feel better, only until somebody caught you in the act, peered at where you laughed at, and then stared directly at you all horrified, as if your psycho?
Has anybody ever vitally mimicked your funny movements and gestures until your face singed in shame? Or has someone overreacted so hard, all because you didn't watch or listen, that it was penetrating?
Added by Jessica Ballantyne on June 12, 2017 at 2:35pm — No Comments
Hey guys, so my membership was recently accepted a few days ago and I am now a member of this forum. So I guess I have to introduce myself and tell my story. So here it goes:
My name is Raphael, I am 16 years old and I am here because I am a maladaptive daydreamer. I never really knew when it started, I do remember “daydreaming” when I was little but I’m not really sure. But I guess it became more apparent recently and that was when I started searching about it. That was how I found…Continue
Just found out my mom has cancer. Big shock. Don't feel like doing anything. If anything, I actually thought that I would die before my parents. I would actually prefer that.
I thought about my reaction from hearing the news. On the inside, I was feeling very torn. The only expression I could give out was a subtle frown. I was never really good at showing my emotions on my own. When I am daydreaming, I would go all out with it. I would speak out my daydreams, walk in circles, and show…Continue
Added by Alexis S Silver on June 10, 2017 at 4:51pm — No Comments
In high school, I had trouble fitting in and making friends, but could have succeeded if I had gotten out of my head. I look back at those little years and reflect on how crazy I actually was. Being a teenager, I was too young to realize that Maladaptive Daydreaming is wrong and it will put a significant effect on everything that goes on in my life. Rather I found MDD all fun and radical, making me laugh a lot, because my day dreams were consisted of comedy and exciting journeys.…Continue
I have no idea what happened...
I am so mortified and stunned and stuff. All I remember is that I've been day dreaming heavily for nearly 20 years.
I had no idea that I had Asperger Syndrome. It made me almost anti-verbal and stuff, couldn't communicate with a dime.
I daydreamed due to 'missing out' and getting frustrated by my realities. Still, it just made me more anti-verbal on people. So, everybody saw the same things. Many totally avoided me...or else they…Continue
Added by Jessica Ballantyne on June 6, 2017 at 12:15pm — No Comments