Daydreamers (more poetry)

[Fallen Messenger]

I believe that in my case, the only upside to maladaptive daydreaming is the heightened creativity. I use this creativity to write poetry. I spend the last few days working on a particular poem about maladaptive daydreaming. I figure that it does no good rotting away in my drawer so I might as well share it with all of you.

DAYDREAMERS

(completed 6/27/17 at 1:25 PM)

I am near,

But I am far,

I am lost,

I am broken,

I am kept,

I am sealed,

I am hidden,

I am faded away.

Barely lingering on,

But with a ghost's breath,

For that is all I am,

And the  most I can be summed up to be.

Stuck in a trance,

As the world is crumbling around me,

White static surrounds,

And I am stuck inside my mind.

I am distant,

I am casual,

I am lonely,

I am crowded,

I am stagnant,

Yet I am ever moving,

I am shattered,

I am eroding away.

Only an empty shell exists,

Repeating rehearsed phrases,

Putting up a front,

Although I am hollow on the inside.

Practiced,

Warding off all suspicion,

All my livelihood,

And all my life.

I am pleading,

I am bleeding,

I am hoping,

I am fading,

I am failing,

I am but a breath,

I am forgotten,

I am falling away.

One of the key features of this particular poem is that it represents the contradictory emotions of a Maladaptive daydreamer, as they might be talking to someone but they are really in a distant land. At least for me, it sums up my emotions as a Maladaptive Daydreamer in an abrasive culture and society who demeans people who aren't as mental "lucky" as others. For me, because I am a Maladaptive Daydreamer, I always feel I am on the verge of a mental break, so that is one of my inspirations for this poem. Do any of you feel the same way about being of the verge of a mental break constantly? What are your feelings on the poem? Is it accurate for you? If you were to change or add anything, what would you do? I love feedback! With love, Fallen Messenger!

[Source]

I'd say that's what most - if not all - of us endure sooner or later. A maladaptive daydreamer exists in both worlds at the same time, but those worlds themselves do a poor job of coexisting. They spin in opposite directions in a constant tug-of-war with the dreamer as the rope. The mind slowly but steadily destabilizes as it tries to grasp the contradictions and stop all that painful friction between the perspectives, always at a stone's throw from going mad.