Where wild minds come to rest
I have always wanted to date people and maintain a relationship. I have never experienced this. I am 31 years old!
I have spent a lifetime of dealing with people who didn't like who I was. What I mean is, I have always had problems getting intimate with people. I was an intensely timid and quiet person. So, either nobody noticed I was there or it they did, they never really gave a shit.
Well, I spent my entire life day dreaming about being people I'm totally not and…
I was told to try writing about my MD and I am not sure if it will be helpful but I will try all the same, I will warn everyone that I am a terrible speller :)
I had to keep running, I knew he wasn't far behind. The sewage smelled terrible and the tunnel was dark, all I could hear was my breathing and the pounding of my footsteps on the wet ground. my heart raced, I had to make it stop he would hear my heartbeat. The gun was still in my hand and the…Continue
Day dreaming is a method mind used to run away from all fears and problems. I think it's the strongest addiction which spoils a man's most precious time. But this energy produced from mind can convert into productive purposes. For ex. innovative ideas and spectacular designs made by the mankind are the outcome of some crazy minds. In my personal experience I can say it may disrupt the friendly relation to the people around us. That we need to have a control over…Continue
His name was Blackie (or Blackey as my sister spelled it) and he was one of my best friends. I'm not sure how I'm ever going to get over his death or if I'll be able to connect/love another pet as much as I did him.
He had surgery a month ago to remove bladder stones but began deteriorating the last two weeks. After going to the vet three days ago and being told his symptoms were "normal," we decided to take him again Tuesday morning. We were then told that this whole time he had…Continue
I gasped when I saw the 10th reason why you waste your life
Added by Jessica Ballantyne on July 25, 2017 at 1:43pm — No Comments
This is my first day talking about myself and my condition online and I hope whoever reads this will appreciate the context and be respectful. In short I do daydream often and I talk to myself frequently while pacing back and forth, however if I am not intereacting with someone I will mummble to myself/ talk to myself while i am walking to my car or on my way to class. I know that they are not real, and If i am by myself I tend to indulge in my fantasy. I keep telling myself I should just…Continue
This morning I was sitting at the TV having my breakfast. My mother went out shopping, so I was alone in the kitchen.
I suddenly began to fall into a fantasy where I was being interviewed in a talk show about my life long struggles with Asperger Syndrome and how I am overcoming it very slowly. I began talking towards the TV with my hands waving around while eating and sipping my coffee. In my head, I was talking to a talk show host in front of a big audience of people and…
Does anyone roleplay?
I do, and when I do it feels like I let the characters take over and watch them do their thing, so it's a bit more intense for me.
I have been alone for quite a long time. I see my best girl pal occasionally, but most times, I spend a majority of my life in a very introverted setting. Whether I do art, read a book, serf the web or write articles I always just sit there all by myself.
Only time I ever really socialize is when I play Badminton and Volleyball at a local recreational center with team members, about twice a week. I am still trying to broaden my social strategies in wherever there's a group get together.…
I think, I get this.
I've been living in worlds of 'my own' for so long, I never payed attention to whose really 'here.' That is why my life looks so empty of people. MDD made me far less interactive than I should have been. So, now that I learned, I have to pick up from where I left everything, and 'refresh' my life. Unfortunately, I waited later into my 30's to start doing this, because I've been such an idiot in my youth. I also have to return to school and change my…
Added by Jessica Ballantyne on July 21, 2017 at 7:55am — No Comments
I grew up around my grade school peers for years, although I had very little in common with them. I wasn't their kind and couldn't seem to speak their language. Well even after my College years, I looked up old peers on Facebook, and noticed they were living their lives to the fullest." They were never alone." Pictures sprawled on timeline pages showing their friends, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, children and family. Although, I would try to keep in touch with Facebook chat box…Continue
I am sort of shocked at all things I never knew about, while growing up in my hometown all these years. For instance,
why so many people wanted to 'pick on me' or blame me for something, almost with no mercy. It is as if how I felt made
no difference. Also, of course, why people refused to befriend me, or even date me, all because I appeared very peculiar
on the outside. Like, I almost wasn't talking...almost not at all. I was always thinking, drifting, pondering or…
Added by Jessica Ballantyne on July 18, 2017 at 5:35pm — No Comments
My mom is so mean. I innocently come downstairs to the kitchen for food. She's is always talking a lot. Me, almost never. Anyway, she'll ask me or tell me about something she observed in the news or in a TV show. It will be about a person or some catchy reference. Anyway, I can be slow at responding, kind of like a man. Anyway, I can be wide awake at least, when she's got something to say. If I don't react the way she wants me to, well, she'll suddenly wail at me so loudly and…Continue
Added by Jessica Ballantyne on July 17, 2017 at 4:28pm — No Comments
This morning I was practically torn to pieces. It's a long story, but it's a combination of my maladaptive dreaming and
my struggles with social skills. Since I was a little thing, I always dreamed of having lots of friends and experiencing relationships. I always wanted romance in my life and it was never there, so I have always been a single female. Mostly,
I always wondered what it was like to be a well-liked and well-admired woman. Right now, I am the biggest loner in…
I've been maladaptive daydreaming since as early as I can remember, at least since fifth grade, probably earlier. I never knew that it had a name until I happened across the term a couple months ago. I was immediately intrigued and researched everything I could on it. There's so much that I've read so far that just coincides exactly with what I've been feeling my whole life. I always assumed that there were other people out there somewhere in the world that struggled with this too, but I…Continue
I feel like I've been talking a lot lately and that's something I don't usually do, but I found something out today.
A few months ago my sister (17 years old) mentioned that she thinks she might have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and I kind of dismissed it. Earlier today I brought it up again because she had one of her mood swings. I researched the disorder a bit and found out that she needs counseling right away or else her chances of a full recovery will drop from…Continue
These so-called regular people, the ones who do not daydream so much. What do they think about all day. I can't imagine. I've only ever had my daydreams. They have always been there
It is difficult to imagine processing a life event (big or small) without projecting it to a made up character, weaving it into the rich tapestry of their made-up lives.
It's not all them, I can quieten them if I really need to. Sometimes it's hard and the biggest disruption is when trying to…Continue
This isn't much of a blog post in my opinion, but I just want to vent.
I do extemporaneous public speaking competitions for FFA at my school. That kinf of public speaking is where you have a few minutes to prepare a speech out of a little but of info. The reason I put myself, a complete introvert, into this position, was because my idealized self is a public speaker. And a very famous public speak at that. Because in my head I am able to perfect those speeches, it causes me…Continue
I don't have any friends nor acquaintances. I honestly don't know if it's a result of maladaptive daydreaming or the cause of maladaptive daydreaming, but most likely a mix of both. Trying to stop daydreaming is hard cause I realize how lonely I am then daydream to feel better. The good thing is I'm more mindful of my daydreams even though I still don't have full control of them. I basically go through life alone living in my head. If I'm not daydreaming, then I am thinking.
Added by MindNeedsSedation on July 11, 2017 at 5:20pm — No Comments